The Scaffolding required for Change

The Challenge of Changing Beliefs, Identity, and Habits

Beliefs, identity, and habits are notoriously hard to change because they are deeply embedded in our brains, self-perceptions, and social conditioning. Here are the key reasons why they persist and why we sometimes deceive ourselves into thinking we’ve changed more than we actually have:

1. Neural Pathways and Habit FormationRepeated behaviors and thoughts strengthen neural pathways in the brain, making habits and beliefs automatic. This process, known as neural adaptation, allows our brains to create “shortcuts” that save energy, reinforcing routines over time.Some behaviors, such as addiction, are tied to neurochemical changes, especially in reward pathways, which make breaking these habits even harder. Creating new neural pathways to replace the old ones takes time, effort, and consistent repetition.
2. Identity and Self-PerceptionBeliefs and habits are tightly intertwined with our identity, or the sense of who we are. Changing a core belief or habit can feel like changing a piece of ourselves, which is naturally uncomfortable.Identity-based labels like “recovering” instead of “recovered” for alcoholics highlight this complexity. Recognizing that aspects of our past identity still influence us, even when we’ve changed outwardly, reflects the ongoing, evolving nature of deep-seated habits.
3. Cognitive Dissonance and Self-DeceptionCognitive dissonance, the discomfort from holding conflicting beliefs, often leads us to rationalize or excuse behaviors that don’t align with our goals. This is why we might tell ourselves we’ve “changed” based on superficial modifications while ignoring the persistence of deeper patterns.Over time, self-deception can lead us to believe we’ve achieved change when we haven’t fully addressed the root causes of old behaviors.
4. Social Conditioning and Environmental ReinforcementOur behaviors are often reinforced by the people and cues around us. Family, culture, and environment all subtly shape our habits and beliefs. If these influences stay the same, changing core aspects of ourselves is difficult.Social approval can reinforce this self-deception. When we receive encouragement for surface-level changes, we may feel validated, convincing ourselves we’ve made lasting improvements even if deeper issues remain unaddressed.
5. The Gap Between Motivation and Deep ChangeMotivation and goal-setting often drive us toward self-improvement, but these alone are often insufficient for changing deeply ingrained habits and beliefs. Motivation fluctuates, making it easy to fall back into old patterns, especially when habits are strongly linked to our environment and social identity.

To overcome these challenges, sustainable change requires more than willpower and goals. It often involves shifting the underlying structures that reinforce our current identity, habits, and beliefs.

Why External Events and Environment Impact Us More Than Internal Goals

Though setting goals and cultivating motivation are essential, external events and our environment often have a much stronger impact on shaping who we are. Here’s why:

1. The Immediate, Unavoidable Impact of External EventsMajor life events—such as losing a loved one, a health crisis, or a job loss—can abruptly force us to adapt and reconsider our priorities. Unlike goals, which we can procrastinate on, these events demand immediate adaptation, disrupting our routines and mental patterns in ways that internal motivation rarely can.
2. Environmental Cues and Triggers for Habitual BehaviorOur environment contains cues that reinforce habitual behaviors, often without our conscious awareness. For instance, certain places, sounds, or smells can trigger habitual responses. In the context of change, moving to a new environment breaks many of these cues, giving us a chance to adopt new behaviors with less resistance.
3. Biological Responses to Stress and UrgencyStressful or high-stakes situations trigger biological responses like the release of stress hormones, putting us in a heightened state of focus and adaptation. This response accelerates change as our brain and body focus on adjusting to survive or cope with the new reality, often leading to rapid behavioral shifts.By contrast, the day-to-day pursuit of self-set goals doesn’t activate these stress responses in the same way, making them easier to ignore or postpone.
4. Involuntary Nature of Emotional and Cognitive ShiftsExternal events often bring strong emotional responses that bypass rational thinking and directly impact our values, attitudes, and behaviors. For instance, a sudden loss can trigger a re-evaluation of what’s important in life, leading to deep and lasting changes that self-imposed goals may not achieve.
5. Goal Setting vs. Immediate RealityGoals are often future-oriented, creating a psychological distance from our present selves, which can make it easier to rationalize inaction or inconsistency. In contrast, events in our immediate reality demand action in the present, making it harder to defer or avoid change.
6. Limits of Willpower and Influence of StructureWillpower is a limited resource, especially when working against deeply rooted habits and identity elements reinforced by our environment. External events and environmental factors create structures that do not depend on willpower alone, allowing for more consistent and lasting behavior change.

External events and environmental shifts are powerful because they require immediate adaptation, restructure our routines, and activate involuntary psychological processes that often lead to more profound and enduring change than motivation or goals alone.

The Power of Changing Environment and Social Networks for Identity Transformation

Given how much influence external factors have on us, one of the best strategies for meaningful personal and identity transformation is to intentionally change our environment and social circles. Here’s why:

1. Environment Reinforces Habits and BehaviorsOur surroundings reinforce certain actions and routines, often without us realizing it. For example, if we’re in an environment that supports unhealthy choices, it’s hard to build a healthier lifestyle. Changing our environment—like creating spaces that support our goals or removing unhealthy cues—can make it easier to adopt and sustain desired behaviors without constant reliance on willpower.
2. Social Influence and Peer PressureThe people around us strongly influence our behaviors, beliefs, and goals. By surrounding ourselves with individuals who exemplify the qualities we aspire to, we’re more likely to adopt similar habits and mindsets. This is known as the “power of proximity”—the tendency for our behaviors and beliefs to align with those we spend time with.
3. Breaking Habit Triggers with Environmental ChangeSpecific cues in our surroundings often trigger habitual actions, making it challenging to break old patterns. When we change our environment—by moving, redesigning our spaces, or using different areas for new activities—we disrupt these associations, creating a “clean slate” that allows us to adopt new habits without the constant pull of past triggers.
4. Identity Shifts in New Social ContextsOur identity is shaped by how others perceive us, and shifting social circles allows us to redefine our self-image. By joining new social groups, we can escape the limiting expectations of our past networks, allowing us to explore different facets of our identity more freely.
5. Feedback Loops and ReinforcementNew environments and social networks create new feedback loops that reinforce our efforts to change. Positive reinforcement from others who encourage or celebrate our changes can strengthen our commitment, while a new environment reduces cues associated with past behaviors, making it easier to adopt new patterns.
6. Replacing Willpower with Structural SupportInstead of relying solely on willpower to maintain changes, altering our environment and social networks creates a structure that aligns with our goals, making change less dependent on fluctuating motivation. For instance, joining a group with regular check-ins or commitments creates a framework that supports consistency.
7. Exposure to New Perspectives and IdeasEntering new environments or social circles exposes us to diverse perspectives and values, helping us broaden our thinking and adopt new behaviors that resonate with our evolving identity. For example, moving to a community with sustainability-focused values can reshape our worldview, introducing values and behaviors we might not have considered previously.

Creating an Ecosystem for Lasting Change

We are where, what and with whom we spend our time so for big change we need to change our environment, our "support group/network" and what we spend our time.

Changing our environment and social networks is an effective strategy for personal transformation because it aligns our surroundings with our aspirations, reduces the reliance on willpower, and provides positive reinforcement. These changes make it easier to break old patterns, allowing our environment and relationships to support our growth journey.

Sustainable change often requires more than just willpower and goal-setting—it demands a shift in the external factors that reinforce our current identity, habits, and beliefs. By surrounding ourselves with supportive people and cues, we create an ecosystem that naturally facilitates the personal growth and identity transformation we’re striving to achieve.

This approach recognizes the powerful influence of context on behavior and embraces it, making change not only more attainable but also more integrated into who we are becoming.