Saying Yes to Others Means Saying No to You ??

One of the hardest truths I've learned is that I don't have time to do everything I want. Soon after, I realized that when I take on too many responsibilities, I end up doing everything halfway, which leads to frustration and a cycle of guilt. Saying “yes” to every opportunity, no matter how incredible, overwhelms me. Learning to say "no" has been one of the most freeing skills I've developed, even though it can be painful to turn down certain opportunities.

In this issue, we’ll discuss the importance of setting boundaries, how to make choices that reflect your values, and how saying "no" can create space for a more intentional and fulfilling life.

??The Danger of Saying Yes to Everything

There are endless opportunities for growth, both personal and professional. And as incredible as they may seem, it’s crucial to recognize that you can’t do everything. When we say "yes" to too many things, we overwhelm ourselves, we become exhausted, and we become less effective at everything. This, in turn, generates feelings of guilt for not doing our best, resulting in the dreaded "busy syndrome"—that which is always overloaded and ends up being unbearable to live with.

Example: A friend asks for your help to organize an event, and you, without thinking, accept. The event takes more time than you expected, and soon you're behind on work, missing time with your family, and feeling frustrated. You didn't consider the emotional and time cost, which led to resentment and poor performance in all areas of your life.

??The Emotional Cost of Saying No

Saying "no" can be emotionally painful. We feel guilt for turning down opportunities or possibly disappointing someone. But if you don't respect that initial discomfort and mourn the missed opportunity, you'll keep saying "yes" out of fear or obligation. This leads to overload and stress.

The good news is that the discomfort of saying no is temporary, especially when compared to the constant feeling of always being busy. When you say "no" to things that don't align with your priorities, you have more time to focus on what really matters. This leaves you fully present for your work, your family or yourself.

??How to Say No: Aligned with Your Values

The key to deciding what to accept is knowing your values and priorities. When a new project comes up or someone asks you to do something, try saying, “Let me check my schedule and I’ll get back to you.” This simple step gives you time to reflect and avoid an impulsive “yes”.

Example: Imagine being invited to join a new committee at work. It sounds exciting, but before you accept, you remember your priorities. Is it aligned with your goal of spending more time with your family? Does this help you achieve your professional growth goals? If the answer is no, it's time to refuse, even if it hurts a little.

??Time Management: The Eisenhower Matrix

A useful tool is the Eisenhower Matrix, which helps you categorize tasks by urgency and importance. By mapping out your commitments, you will have a clearer picture of where your time should be invested, ensuring that self-care, family and personal development are not neglected.

Example: Someone asks you to review a blog article. Although you enjoy helping, you realize your priority is building your business. Editing the article may be satisfying, but it will not directly support your professional or personal growth. By checking your priorities, you decide to say no and focus on the most urgent tasks.

??Conclusion: Choosing Yourself Is Not Selfish

Choosing yourself instead of overburdening yourself with commitments is not selfish; It's essential to maintaining your well-being and delivering high-quality work in the areas that matter most. Yes, it's uncomfortable to say "no"—especially to people you love—but the discomfort is small compared to an exhausting, overworked life. By keeping your commitments aligned with your values, you'll ensure that when you say "yes," it's to what really matters.

??ProTip: Take a moment this week to map out your values and priorities. Use them as a guide the next time you're asked to take on a new project or opportunity. Ask yourself, "Does this support the life I want to build, or am I just scared to say no?"

So who do you need to say "no" to this week to start saying "yes" to yourself?

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Have a great week!? Full of thought-provoking questions and insightful answers!

Love + Respect,

Leo

? Quotes of the Week:

When you say yes to others, make sure you don’t say no to yourself.” Paulo Coelho

You can't pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first. - Norm Kelly.

?? Book Recommendations:

The author

Nedra Glover Tawwab

Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself