Saying "Yes" to (almost) everything

As evidenced by the “I” dimension of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), my natural style tends towards extreme introversion. 

People that only know me in a work context may argue with that, but it is because they only see the version of me that I’ve adapted to professional settings. The part that they don’t understand is the feelings I have inside when overwhelmed with human contact and the renewal time after being around people where I get to be my full self.

 My natural tendency is to avoid social situations beyond what I have to do professionally, and the default response to most invitations to socialize is either “no” or a yes that I intend to find a way out of later. When I do say yes, every fiber of my being is hoping that the other person or group will nope out so I can get out of the invitation. 

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t dislike people, I just am drained by being around them, even if I have a good time. The majority of the time, when I do say yes to a social event, I end up being glad that I went and that I got to make deeper connections with people (though I’ll still be wiped out). 

Several years ago, I received an email from Lorraine, the Alumni Development Director of my alma mater, Park University, inviting me to lunch and for a tour of the campus. It was precisely the sort of invitation that I’d either ignore entirely or dismiss with a reflexive “no.” But for some reason, I decided to consider the request further and told her that I’d go if my partner (another Park alumni) could join us. My partner is probably even more introverted and socially no-oriented than I am, but she was willing to go along to have my six. 

We met Lorraine for lunch at a French restaurant in Parkville that we’d frequented before, and she immediately put us at ease with her warmth and conversational style. While we were talking, it came out that she was starting a graduate program at Park. My partner and I are alumni of their undergraduate programs and had no idea that they had added master's degrees to their catalog, so we were immediately intrigued by the possibilities. Lorraine gave us information about the programs and encouraged us to consider registering. She then took us on a tour of the campus, which I’d never done before as I attended remotely when I was in the Air Force. 

We spent a few days considering the idea of going back to school for two years, and both signed up, then started MBA programs in the next available semester. After two years of grinding it out, we both received our Masters in Business Administration in December of 2018.

Since then, when I’ve been faced with invitations to social situations or things that are outside of my comfort zone, I go back to this experience in my mind and have been saying “yes” instead of “no” the vast majority of the time. What I’ve been finding is that once I get past my initial discomfort, that it ends up being worth it. 

If you’re like me, maybe you should consider saying “yes” to more things outside your comfort zone…