Saying what we mean and meaning what we say mean?

Lots of times, people don't say what they mean. They might want to say “No, I don't want to go with you to that party because I'm an introvert and parties are my idea of hell,” but instead they say “yes, lovely, thanks” and then “so sorry, I'm not feeling well tonight”.

There are lots of reasons for this. Perhaps they don't want to seem rude or ungrateful. Perhaps they want to keep their options open in case they suddenly and inexplicably feel like partying. Perhaps they don't want you to stop asking them to events.

Similarly, lots of times, people don't mean what they say. They might say “your new haircut looks amazing!” when they really hate it. They might say “Do pop in for a cuppa whenever you're passing!” when actually they'd be horrified if you dropped by.

These social niceties are a minefield at the best of times: imagine what a nightmare they are for people of other cultures and non-neurotypical people to navigate.

The world would be a simpler place if people could just say what they mean, and mean what they say.

It literally means don’t ever say never, but it means that the moment you say something will never be true, someone or something (sometimes the person who said never) will prove you wrong.

Example #1:

”We’re never going to finish on time.”

“I brought in three others to help.”

“Oh, well in that case, I guess we’ll be done early.”

Example #2:

”I’m never using that road; the improvements they’re making are making it worse.”

”I had to use that road because my alternate route was closed for repair, and, you know, those improvements I hated really work well than I thought. In fact, that road is now my best route to ______.”

High concept in a conversation is an idea you want to tell about, but if you haven’t figured out how to explain it before you open your mouth, you can’t say what you mean and that leads into not meaning what you say.

I suggest that you practice talking while looking at yourself in a big mirror. Read a newspaper article, tell jokes, make up ridiculous stories, talk about what you want for your birthday — day after day until you get your mouth and face clearly saying what your brain is thinking. Seriously! You know you can’t do it yet, so practice it until you can.

It works! I practiced the same way when I was a kid so I could speak convincingly to people. Later I took speech classes to learn how to do it better and breathe while I did it. You can too!

Disclaimer:?The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensure discussion or debate.

Thank you ...You probably can't say what you mean and mean what you say because you start talking before you start thinking. You haven't thought about what you want to?...try to always say what I mean, or otherwise make sure that my message is clear when I speak. The key to being able to do this well is tact. Having a large vocabulary helps.

An example of this is that I used to always say that I'm good at seeing the flaws in things, and that mode of thinking made me unhappy a lot.

Now I say that I'm good at seeing how things can be improved. It's the same idea, but from a more positive perspective.

If my girlfriend tries on an unflattering red shirt and then asks my opinion, I will say that she should wear the blue one with the thingy because it brings out her eyes so well.

Offer a solution to the conflict before it becomes a conflict.

Do you want to add a word or two ?........

Why Should We Say What We Mean?

Being honest and upfront is so valuable for all types of relationships in which we engage daily. From your romantic partner to the guy you see every Tuesday during lunch break, speaking honestly and from a genuine place will greatly improve the conversation and what comes?from it.

Sometimes, we just don't feel it's necessary to tell the whole truth -- and nothing but the truth so help us?God -- when it centers on?something seemingly irrelevant. The way I see it,?it's less?necessary to lie, or to let useless fluff come out of your mouth.

When you are asked a question, or hear the little voice in your head engaging in the dialogue, genuinely say what comes to mind. This does not mean you should be?blunt, rude or insensitive. It just means we must?stop walking around, giving lip-service to everyone because we are cultured to be filtered, reserved and voiceless.

Your comments........?

Also, when you don't say what you truly mean, you will experience less overall satisfaction with your environment. If your boss asks whether or not you want coffee in the meeting, and you say you don't care because your c-workers did,?you'll just be tired in the meeting.

If you were to say, "I'd love some, actually!" Then guess what? You just went from tired to wired at meetings.

Lastly, we are a generation so full of social anxiety that being upfront can be downright difficult. Whether or not you feel this to be true to your life, as a whole, our generation is very tentative with assertions. We are afraid to give our friends advice that comes from the heart because we feel the advice won't bode well with them.

Or, we don't speak up when we are asked questions because the answer could cause for some awkward tension. We sometimes dance around information or refuse to be straightforward because we don't deem our feelings relevant to those around us and don't want to "look weird."

Whatever the reason, we are often very cautious communicators when in actuality; honesty truly is the best policy. Start being more honest with friends, and suddenly, your opinion won't be "harsh," but rather, it'll be "genuine" because you often speak?openly.

State your positions and thoughts more often and kaboom, your buds will turn to you for thoughtful opinions. Saying what you truly feel, when framed correctly, of course, will make you genuinely happier in your own shoes.

Plus, you'll no longer eat foods you hate because none of your coworkers had any idea you hate them.

See, to me, this one's pretty obvious: I mean, hello, why would you not mean what you say? What is the point of even speaking at that point? As someone with an absent filter, however, I understand I'm the minority here.

Many of us say either the obvious or the easiest in conversation because why say something odd and then look stupid?

Or offer?an answer that the asker did NOT want to hear?

?Or say something that?will?cause us to have to act in a certain way?

So, we say things we perhaps half-mean or want to mean.?Meaning what you say will similarly change your life for the better. This means, something about which you choose to talk, be open about or respond with should be genuine and uncontrived.