Saying No to Say Yes

We all have dreams. I bet you have a dream inside you right now. I know you want to create and manifest certain things in your life. Desires have been inside you since you were young. The nature of your dream might have changed, but your dream is still alive.??

We spend time daydreaming and think it’s just a waste of time. Actually, daydreaming is a good way for you to unleash personal power. Right now, visualize what you would like to manifest in your life. Think about your dreams, see them, feel them, and hear them calling you. What you are doing daily to get closer to your dreams and develop personal power?

I began to realize there would be times when I would have to say no to some things in my life to say yes to successfully reaching my goals. I knew there would be times when it would be late, and I would be tired, but I would have to persevere and work diligently. I knew I would have to work while my friends were partying and having fun, but I also knew I wanted to be a psychologist and motivational speaker. I had goals and my future in mind. I have never doubted that everything I have done has ultimately prepared me for the work I do.?

Saying Yes to You Can Mean Sacrifice

I am fortunate to have many friends and family. I am a community child, the product of a village. When I meet people, I keep them close to me, and I love them forever. However, it is impossible for me to please all my loved ones all the time. I can’t do it, and I no longer try. All we can do is wake up and be the best we can be every day. That is all you should ask of yourself. Being the best you enables you to set appropriate boundaries for yourself and helps you know when you should say no.?

Saying Yes to Values

Saying no to say yes does not apply to only career decisions. It can also apply to cultivating your value system and actualizing personal power. Recently, someone offered me a few videos to watch. It was a great gesture, and I was very appreciative. Later, I realized the videos were not authentic, meaning they were not legitimate copies. I told the person who gave them to me that I could not watch them. It was weird because I really wanted to see the videos, and I did not want to hurt that person’s feelings intentionally. Others watching the interaction were surprised at my position.?

Let me be clear and say I might not follow every law to the letter—for instance, I drive a little faster than the speed limit occasionally—however, the more I speak about personal power and being authentic, the less I feel congruent contributing to things that don’t empower me. Some might say, “They’re just videos,” and I agree with you; you are correct. I say they are just videos from which the hardworking actors, producers, extras, and the economy will never prosper. I took a stand for something in which I believed. Imagine what will happen when you do the same.?

I say no to things I can consciously control in my environment and say yes to powerful, positive things. I realize it might be a sacrifice at times, and people might be offended. We are all responsible for everything we choose, and we can say no to say yes to our power.?

It doesn’t mean that I was right, and the other person was wrong. It’s about your belief system. Not paying the original creators for the videos complicates my beliefs and values. The other person probably has a different belief or value, which is perfect for him or her.?

Sacrificing Is Not Selfishness

I’m not saying you should live a selfish life or that you should only focus on yourself. You have to share your time and your life with those who are important to you and be willing to receive to grow. However, there will be times when you will have to make difficult choices to get closer to the goals you’ve set for yourself. There will always be gatherings and games. You certainly can decide to go to every funeral, wedding, party, game, homecoming, and family reunion, but unless your goal is to become a socialite, you might want to reevaluate your choices and learn to make certain sacrifices.

Reaching your goals will help you become more socially successful. People love to hear stories of how others have succeeded. While I was in graduate school, every time I turned around, someone asked, “When are you going to get your doctorate?” Though often stressful to hear, this question helped me keep my goals in sight. I finished on time and never skipped a semester. Repeatedly hearing that question caused me to work harder to finish and kept the desire to reach my goals burning inside me. Now, instead of talking about what I should have done with my life, I can encourage others with how I have worked to make my dreams a reality. I tell people how I succeeded, and I listen to their success stories too.

Your Successes Empower Others

I assure you that there will be times when you will have to say no to other people and things so you can move forward and push past mediocrity. Doing so does not mean you do not love or that you cannot show compassion, it simply means that you must carve space for yourself. There must be a time when you realize your dream is so powerful, and it will help so many people, that you must push forward.?

In the book, Think and Grow Rich,* Napoleon Hill calls this realization a “burning desire.” By persevering and saying no to some things I wanted to do, I said yes to my dream of sharing my passion with others. You can think of it as delayed gratification. As you move forward toward your goals, you will ultimately empower other people with your success.

Moving Forward

In one of my coaching certification classes, I was required to write a list of three things I was willing to say yes to and three things I was willing to say no to in order to reach my goals. Here is mine:

Say Yes:?

1) Surrender to the universe.?

2) Empower more people with my message of personal power.

3) Create spiritual rituals and goals.?

Say No:?

1) Avoid things not specifically in line with my goals and values.

2) Stay away from some events and some people.

3) Stop allowing myself to be a doormat.

I encourage you to make your list right now. What are the three things you must say yes to in your life? What are the three things you will have to say no to in order to reach your dreams? I have heard a few people call their goals “dreams with a deadline.” After you’ve made your list, determine a deadline by which you want to see yourself closer to your goals. Once you set a deadline for your dreams, you will become more and more alive. You will develop more discipline because your desire to see your dreams come true will grow.?

Find the Time to Find You

Do not be afraid to say no. In his series, Get the Edge,* Tony Robbins says we would much rather help other people than help ourselves. We are all very loving beings, and on many occasions, you probably find yourself putting others before yourself. Putting others ahead of yourself is wonderful, but at the same time, you must do something for yourself to get closer to your gifts, your talents, and your strengths.?

You must find time for yourself. I’m not saying you should spend every minute of your time developing your dreams…?

However, I can give much more to others when I make time to give to myself.?

Recently, I started doing yoga and meditation. I take time out for myself so I am grounded, genuine, and focused when I work with others. By taking time out for myself, I’m becoming a better me, and by being the best me, I am ultimately fulfilling my dream of helping others as effectively as I can. I say no to some things so I can say yes to my body, to my life, and essentially to my dreams. I want you to spend some time saying yes to you. Don’t be afraid to say no to some things in your life. The truth is that if it is truly for you, nothing can keep you from it, anyway. No one can block what’s really for you—not even you. Make the choice every day to move closer to your dreams.?

Say no to some things so you can say yes to those dreams.