Saying nothing . . .
As an?introvert often the easiest thing for me to do is say nothing. However I’ve learned in life that doing what is easy is definitely not always what is best. I’m pretty sure everyone learns that eventually if they are paying attention at all.
I’ve learned later in life to actively respond when my intuition?sends me a little signal that maybe I should say something.?I was at a memorial recently when all the prepared speeches finished and the minister asked if anyone else wanted to say a few words. My little voice said to say something. I knew the person well and wanted them honoured for the wonderful life they had led. I wasn’t required though and public speaking is tough for everyone even if it doesn’t look like it. It is doubly difficult if the topic will make you emotional.?Then that little voice tells you that you should say something. I know that feeling when I’ve not had enough courage to act on it. I’ve taught myself to act on it. It’s just a reflex.
This past week as I’ve started my new role I’ve intentionally done a lot of listening. I don’t want people to just react to whatever I’m?saying because I’m the Group CEO. I want to hear what they really have to say uncensored by their reaction my view. I’ve worked for CEOs who can’t resist telling you everything that is on/in their mind before?you’ve even had a chance to sit down. Resisting the urge to start waxing lyrically about how we should be doing something it isn’t easy. Once you go there though you won’t ever really hear the other views. I’ve done a lot of acknowledging and listening this week. That little voice is speaking to me again but this time it is telling me to shut the fudge up and listen.
领英推荐
This all reminds me of something very similar that a boss?told me about 15 years ago after my first promotion to senior executive.?He said that I was diffident (which I had to look up) and that was okay except as a director, when I was silent, it left people wondering why. Did I agree? Was I opposed? Was I angry?
I’d always felt comfortable letting the conversation runs its course and only jumping in if I felt something needed to be said. Until that exact moment I hadn’t considered that saying nothing was actually saying something. I know now.
Authentic Leadership | Strategic Transformation | Digital Transformation | Financial Services | Risk Management
2 年Thanks for the reflection Greg - it's often about reading the room or the interaction, however I find it hard to stay quiet at times and maybe get the balance wrong a little in the other direction. It's easy to assume that someone tells you something because they want your response - very much not always the case. Now, where is my dictionary ....... I'm off to look up diffident!
I reduce OpEX and create new cash flow and EBITDA.
2 年Bite your tongue.
Helping Business Owners, HR Directors & Leaders Improve People Performance with Emotional Intelligence & Self Leadership Strategies | F2F Group Training 2 Days ￡2950 | Online ￡495 pp | Free Monthly Discovery Webinars
2 年The majority of people don’t listen well Greg - it’s a positive joy when someone does. Thankfully we’re are able to improve our listening skills!
Group Customer Experience Director, Places for People, leader focused on building customer centricity, customer voice, customer insights, customer strategy
2 年A week in already and thank you for listening to our stories Greg. It is a great lesson for us all to remember to listen. As my ma says when I jabber on, we have 2 ears and 1 mouth (the old ones are the best I know) use them in equal measure. Not quite as powerful as Emily Dickinson I admit!
Credit Risk @ Lloyds Banking Group
2 年You are a real inspiration to me Greg, I was once told to say everything in every meeting, even if I had nothing useful to contribute - I don’t necessarily suscribe to that but I do know that when my little voice tells me to venture out there, if I don’t, I will probably wish I had later, so I have learnt to act on it too.