By Saying Nothing, Am I Really Saying Something?

Thoughts on race relations, my personal journey, and a call to action... 

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been trying to take some of my own advice – talking less and listening more. I have been watching the news on TV quite a bit as well. But after several days of being somewhat silent, other than with my family and close friends, I feel I should say a few things. I hope I say them well…

For most of my life, I’ve been very blessed. I grew up with great parents, lived in safe places, attended college, and have enjoyed a great career, the “American Dream,” as they say. As a kid, my family moved from outside of Boston to a small southern town in North Carolina, and that is where my personal experience of living in a diverse America was formed. In this town, you likely either farmed tobacco, worked for The American Tobacco Company, worked for a small local business. There was only one high school in town, and the number of white and black students here was about equal. After four years of college, I joined a New York-based company called American Express. AMEX was a fantastic place to work as a kid from a small southern town. Ken Chenault, through much of my career, was our CEO. He was an amazing leader, and also happens to be black. While at AMEX, I reported directly to a number of other exceptional leaders. One was Anré Williams, who also happens to be black. While I was at AMEX, Ken and Anre’ weren’t simply good leaders, they were exceptional - both were far better educated than myself, and truthfully, brought a level of intelligence that was sometimes simply intimidating. I idolized these men, and I aspired to be them one day. 

I give you this backdrop above because context matters. Without knowing my story, it’s hard to understand my perspective. My time in Reidsville, North Carolina, began the formation of my world view. My class president was black. Our homecoming queen was black. The experiences of my youth were formed where black people and white people seemed to get along pretty darn well, at least in my circles. Later, my world view at work would be quite the same. AMEX is a very diverse organization, and I could not imagine working for a company that was any other way. I believed that at AMEX, I could accomplish (or for that matter, anyone could accomplish) whatever career objectives I wanted to. All seemed okay in the world, but perhaps I was only seeing our world through my own eyes.

For these past many days (like most of us), I’ve been watching the news, and reading a barrage of articles, statements, posts and messages from people of power and influence. I’ve paid close attention to our mayor in Atlanta, Keisha Lance Bottoms, who has given a recent number of amazing and emotional press conferences during the protests. I have tuned in to what my pastors have had to say, and I have prayed often. I have also taken the time to check in on my black friends, to ask them questions and to see how they are doing. And honestly, these conversations have been far more valuable than what I’ve been watching and reading. Of course, there can be value in the news and what we see on social media, but think about spending some one-on-one time with someone who is actually going through a real challenge or struggle, and your heart will be impacted. These one-on-one conversations provided me the context that I needed to understand what is truly going on, so I listened intently to their perspective on the murder of George Floyd, Amy Cooper, COVID-19, and so many other things. What I heard them say is that they are worried, they are frustrated, they are angry, and they feel marginalized. Yes, they are hopeful about what has been happening over the past few weeks, but they still question, will anything truly change? 

It's painfully obvious to me there still exists a level of systemic racism in our country that I didn’t understand, likely because I didn’t experience on a personal level.  And unfortunately, as we know, all over the world there are people of multiple races and nationalities that are held in contempt, for no reason other than their skin color. So, what do I say? What do I do? Should I remain silent on this subject, and not risk saying something wrong? That doesn’t feel right. I have friends and work colleagues that are hurting, and I need to support them. I want my friends of color, especially my black friends, and all of those I don’t know or will never meet in the black community, to experience a different America, the America I’ve been experiencing. I’ve never been in fear of being out jogging during the day, or about being pulled over in my car by a police officer. When the police show up, I’m used to feeling that the good guys have arrived (which very often is the case). But as we all know, especially now, it’s not always the case. I don’t want anyone to feel threatened because of the color of your skin. The American Dream at its core, in its idealistic nature, is good, but it’s only good if it’s good for all of us. I want you to know that I believe there are many like me who want to help. Often though, I think we’re afraid to speak, in fear that we might say the wrong thing.

But in this moment, silence is not an option. And words without action are not enough. I believe we all have to take a stand. We have to force constructive dialogue in places where we see inequality. We have to engage in very uncomfortable conversations, because without these, there is no growth, there is no progress. A few days ago, I had one of these conversations. I learned about the challenges a good friend of 20 years has been facing, things I never knew he was dealing with. That can’t be the case for me any longer, I have to press in, and engage at a deeper level if I’m truly going to help carry his burden. Personally, I have to leverage the platforms, relationships, and influence I have gained throughout my lifetime to drive meaningful change, and you must use yours. We all must find ways to truly serve causes that will advance those who are oppressed. We must find new ways to support those who need help – coaching, mentorship, however you can help. As an example, I mentor a number of younger colleagues today, and speak on leadership and culture in the workspace. But how can I expand this work to a more diverse group of individuals, especially here in the Atlanta area? As Mellody Hobson, Co-CEO of Ariel Investments said in a TED talk, "I'm asking you not to be color blind, but to be color brave, so that every child knows that their future matters and their dreams are possible."

Lastly, I want to pray for unity, for peace, for change, for progress, for leadership, and for Love. Yes, Love for one another - genuine Love. Because without that core fundamental ingredient, we are lost, and we will never achieve our greatest potential. 

I hope my note has opened some level constructive dialogue. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and ideas on how we can all drive the change we need!