Saying NO...
It can be the kindest thing you do for someone else, and yourself - plus my 5 step work sheet to say NO, nicely, more often.
We often think saying YES to every request, on our time, money, and resources is being kind. I learned a long time ago, that being 'kind' to everyone else was leaving me exhausted, overwhelmed and sometimes resentful, and I wasn't being kind to myself.
I used to attach so much guilt to saying NO, I would often find myself in situations where I was burned out, and just plain overwhelmed. After a few exhausting years, I realised I needed to get some stuff off my plate, I needed to breathe and declutter my schedule so I could give myself some time to just be me, and look after myself.
I started to learn how to say NO, nicely. It wasn’t always ‘without guilt’ or that nagging feeling I was letting someone down, but I still did it. The more I did it, the more I realised that my life was not going to fall apart if I put myself or my family first.
I also learned to reframe it in my mind, by stepping out or back from something I was good at, it was possibly giving someone else the opportunity to contribute. Also by saying yes to things I really didn’t want to do, was not being honest or living in integrity with myself or others, so in actual fact not very kind at all.
Our egos get a bit of a lift when someone says “You are so great at that xxxx or you are the best person for this job because you are so good at xxx”
Those who are used to delegating on committees, teams or jobs, are great at finding the right people but also great at framing the question in a way that ‘sells’ it to them. There may be no doubt they are genuine in their praise of you and your skills, but they also have an agenda they need to fill.
You may be amazing at your particular skill, even love doing it – if you are like me, you may be the one everyone goes to for help with that particular thing, but if your life is so full your head is spinning, you are tired, grumpy, not spending time nurturing your own health and wellbeing, then you probably have too much on your plate.
GREAT NEWS: You have the power to choose, to decide what things you will say YES to and what things you will say NO to.
I have put together a few tips and a 5 step work sheet to help you figure out if you are saying YES to too many things, and how to change that around.
Read the tips and get the free worksheet here on my blog - no sign in required
Read the tips and get the free worksheet here on my blog - no sign in required
Here is to more space in your life for you
Jen Tyson
Founder of Puzzle Pink, Consultant, Counsellor, Facilitator, Mentor
4 年And while we get stronger at saying NO we also become bolder & peaceful with behaving YES towards ourself ??
Learning Facilitator, Founder/Director Building Networks
4 年I said no today. I knew I had to speak up. It was still a little confronting but I can lookmysekf in the mirror and say I stand in my integrity as well as professionalism