Saying Goodbye to Uncle Amose: Embracing Life’s Disappointments

I had written four articles in memory of my uncle, Amose Phiri, intending to publish them in sequence. This was meant to be the final one. However, before I could release it, I faced another brush with death— we lost two colleagues at work within a span of two weeks. In their memory, I pause for a moment of silence (Rest in Peace, Kelvin and Gideon). This reminds us all of how fragile life truly is.

Okay, so after we buried my uncle, Amose Phiri, I decided to head back home. Since the journey was long, I offered to give a few people a ride along the way. Eventually, I only had space left for one more person. As I approached a lay-by, two ladies walked up to my vehicle. Unfortunately, I could only take one. As the chosen lady boarded, the one left behind muttered something in Bemba: "Pamusebo tepaku butukila." It's difficult to translate directly into English, but essentially, she meant, "You shouldn’t rush on the road—you might end up in an accident." In a negative way of course.

Myself and the other passengers were taken aback by her words. Curious, I asked the lady who had boarded why her friend would say something like that. She explained that it was because she hadn’t been picked. As I continued driving, I couldn’t help but think about how we often react when someone else gets something we wanted. Many of us tend to downplay the achievements of others, even when we were striving for the same thing.

I’ve heard people dismiss their friends’ marriages with comments like, “That marriage won’t last,” or belittle someone’s new job by saying, “Kwati pali naka nchito (as if that’s even a job).” While it’s normal to feel disappointment or anger when we don’t get what we want, we should be mindful of the words we use in response. Negative comments don’t just reflect poorly on us—they can hurt others. We should take a moment to imagine how we would feel if the tables were turned.

It’s ironic that even those who profess to be devout Christians sometimes call on God to deal with their friends out of spite, as though God is a puppet who can be manipulated to serve their personal grievances.

Learning to accept disappointments is part of life’s journey, and it allows us to grow into better, more compassionate individuals.

Happy Weekend!!!