Saying Goodbye to 2023

'Unorganised work causes a debilitating mental clog up. A great hammer doesn’t make a great carpenter, but a great carpenter would want a great hammer.'

Those were the first words in my 2023 journal, which is now at a word count of 59,648 words.

Much as I love words, actions matter. And as I sit here, working my way to 60,000 words, reflecting on the year gone by, I ask myself, have I been a great carpenter? Have I organised my work, and before that, my thoughts? What have I achieved? Above all, what have I learnt?

So I searched my soul, and here's what I found.

1. Sometimes Long Ago Feels Like Yesterday, at Other Times, Yesterday Feels Like Long Ago.

At the start of 2023, I was still in Singapore, heading a consulting firm, while trying desperately for my son to learn to love life in Singapore. Yet Singapore wasn't meant to be, and so after completing one year there, we returned to London in June.

Technically therefore, I've spent almost half my year in Singapore. And people said to me, 'you'll miss Singapore.' People still ask me if I do.

The truth, not at all. I don't.

In my mind, Singapore feels like it was a long time ago. When I scroll through photos, they feel like another time and another world. Sure, I've learnt so much from the land and risks I took, yet, I've well and truly moved on.

So my point here is no different to what Einstein told us, that the rate at which time passes depends on your frame of reference. I suppose my thoughts are so firmly focussed forward, that a little while ago, feels a long time ago. And this isn't the first time I've done that. I've learnt over time that dispassionate progress is one of my features.

2. Your Life Today, Is Determined by Your Thoughts Yesterday, So Think Wisely.

So what got me to Singapore? And what got me back to London?

Before actions, it was thoughts. Thoughts that go back to 2022.

I had read about the making of Singapore and was so obsessed with the ethos, opportunities, technology, and infrastructure, that I felt compelled to give my son that opportunity. I spoke with people, searched for work - and made it happen. I manifested it through my thoughts - and in June 2022, we flew to Singapore.

Yet just a year on, in 2023, I decided to pivot again.

Whichever way you see this, it wasn't easy. I had put so much thought and intent to this that it hurt. Yet, what hurt more, was to see how much my son wanted to come back to London.

I thought long and hard. It wasn't easy. It was never going to be. Many people said I was being daft, but then, after the world had it's say, it was my own thoughts that drove my actions - I resigned from my role in Singapore, paid several hefty fines to Singaporean landlords and utilities for breaking terms, and cut my losses.

Yet, what I'm proud of is that none of this happened by chance. I put thought into it - and had the courage to act.

My key point here is that there are two kinds of lives, the thoughtless one, and the thoughtful one. Regardless of those two, it's your thought, or lack of, is what's driving your actions. So be precious about who and what is allowed into your thoughts. My brain is my most precious real estate.

My brain is my most precious real estate.

3. Much of the World Is Still Trapped in Age and Stage Brackets

As I returned to London, and had chats about beginning work in London, many assumed that I'd be looking to take it easy. With grown kids, and a career of 25 years behind me, some asked, if I want to only work few days a week and so on.

At first, I didn't get it.

Yet, I've come to learn that much of the world is still trapped in age and stage brackets and thinks in terms of a three-stage life.

My life however, is multi-staged.

I was married at 22, had children at 25 and 30, and as single mom by 35, I made countless career sacrifices bringing them up. Now, as my daughter turned 21 and my son's nearly 16, this for me isn't the time to take things easy, but to prioritise myself as I take on new challenges.

My greatest learning here is that this mindset needs to change. And by sharing my life and thoughts, I do my bit to be the change that I wish to see.

4. If You Want to Build the Risk Taking Muscle, You Must Take Some Personal Risks

Over the course of life, I've taken several risks. And each time I take some, regardless of the outcome, it builds my risk taking muscle.

Reflecting on 2023, I've been interim CEO at an APAC consulting firm for five months, then been self-employed as executive coach for five months, and am now working at a British Bank. Given the sheer breadth of this change, I have to say, my personal risk taking muscles are almost as toned as my abs!

It's like intermittent fasting. If you do it long enough, your body learns to go without food without causing headaches.

Risk taking is no different. The more you do, the more you can do; and only you can decide how much is right for you. If you feel stuck and stagnated, maybe the muscles are aching for some stretch.

CONCLUSION

From where I'm stood, 2023 has been nothing short of phenomenal in action and in learning. I'm known to be demanding on myself, and even now, I could tell myself, I could have done better. I'm sure I could have. We all can.

But you know what?

Instead, I'll look back and marvel at just how far I've come - simply by moving from one thoughtful step to the next.

All in all, I've been a great carpenter - and my hammer's been decent too. Thank you 2023, for allowing me the moments to shape my destiny...

'Every moment I shape my destiny with a chisel, I am the carpenter of my own soul.' - Rumi

About Me:

I’m a senior leader in the financial services industry with over 25 years of corporate experience and have held substantial leadership roles in firms such as HSBC, Barclays, BSkyB, and NatWest. I’m also an accredited coach, a published author, global speaker, Udemy instructor and a marathon finisher. Click here to contact me for engagements.