Saying "no".

Saying “no” is not something that I am very good at.

Over the years not saying “no” has led to unfulfilled expectations, letdowns, and me tying myself in knots.

From time to time I managed to summon the courage to say “no” and then still managed to go on to tie myself into a knot.

I am getting better at this, or at least I think I am.

When it comes to giving an answer though, I have found three distinct camps.

1. Yes. Says “yes” and then works it out later. A little like the famous Wayne Gretzky quote, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.
2. A delayed answer. Could go either way but sits on it for a while, even though it may mean that you miss out.
3. No. Says “no” by default, always. Then accept that if it comes back, you?will take another look.

I was talking this through with a friend and peer recently about how it has become mainstream to say “if it is not a hell yes, it’s a hell no”, and I get that, trust me I do. I know how important it is to focus on your purpose, what lights your fire, and what ideally aligns with your unique abilities.

But…

The entrepreneur in me doesn’t sit comfortably with this notion. Because not everything is a “hell yes” immediately. Some of my best ideas and opportunities have simmered for years before they became a “yes”.

Take our company Independent Executives, for example. Back in 2018, I was projecting a 1-year plan and 3-year picture. Creating a solution for companies who didn’t have, or couldn’t justify having an Integrator in their business seemed like the most important thing to focus on...

Then, when I built a list of all the things that I felt that way about it didn’t make the top three. I had fundamental and foundational problems to solve before I could even think about that. Three years later, Independent Executives was born.

So, it was a yes, then a maybe, and then a “not now.”

I came back to it every year until it became a “yes”.

The same pattern has been a constant in my life, and I observe the same in so many businesses every day.

Here is a different frame on the three camps to consider:

1. Yes. Acknowledge the opportunity, know the timing is right and go for it.
2. Not now. It’s not a “no” it is a not now. You need your focus elsewhere.
3. ?No. This is outside of what I am focused on. Blinkers are on.

But how can you do this?

Well, it is simple. Get clear on what is important to you. Get clear on what your goals are. And ask yourself this important question every time:

“If I say yes to this, what am I saying no to?”

Remember, decision-making is one of the most critical leadership skills.

Lead well.

Have fun.