Say 'Yes' to You

I was uncomfortably comfortable. The general state of my twenty-seven year old life was normal—steady job, community of friends, active social life—but I sensed myself detaching from my settled existence in Charlotte, though I couldn’t articulate why. I only knew that suddenly the cruise control setting of my day to day needed a reset. This feeling, voice, intuition—whatever this was, I couldn’t ignore it.?

Simultaneously a wall presented itself at work; a ceiling already existed. There was only so far I could rise in my current role, and the wall formed once I realized what was once a great learning opportunity had become a monotonous wheel of production without inspiration. I could feel it was time to exit despite the loyalty I felt toward the first people who gave me a chance as a designer out of university. They took it well. I did not as I tearfully expressed my desire to move on whilst feeling a mix of gratitude and grief over my decision.

Soon after I left the company, I bought a one way ticket that would fly me from my studio apartment in Uptown Charlotte to a friend’s L-shaped sofa in Irvine, California. Jobless. Almost penniless. Somehow certain this was the right move.?

Some friends didn’t understand. At the time I didn’t possess the conviction to proclaim that I was boldly (and blindly) following my intuition, partly because I wasn’t sure that’s what I was doing, and partly because I desperately wanted to avoid any judgement. So I lied and told them I had a job secured in LA. It eased their worries while allowing me to move without their lack of faith weighing on me. However, some friends were enthusiastically in my corner, even if worried, they were the invisible strings to my trapeze act, ready to break my fall if necessary.

My dreams of California sunshine were dashed upon arrival. I remember flying toward the John Wayne runway in the middle of a particularly dreary June Gloom spreading across the densely packed terrain of Orange County and thinking, this is it? Perhaps I expected the intro to The O.C. to play as wheels touched down; I definitely expected to be greeted by unencumbered vitamin D. This was not the California advertised to me. Despite my disappointment in the solar abundance, I made it and was committed to exploring this unwritten chapter.?

I had reduced my possessions to three bins and a suitcase. My university MacBook Pro became my most prized appliance as I applied to over one hundred positions across LinkedIn and Indeed from the comfort of my borrowed sofa. Majority of these roles were not remotely aligned with my degree in architecture; I was no longer attracted to working in a traditional architecture firm as I felt I had 'been there, done that'. The pyramid schemes were the first to eagerly invite me to interview. I knew what they were and I went anyway; I desperately needed to practice interviewing.?

The pennies I arrived with quickly spent and credit became a lifeline that would bite me later. Returning to a temporary restaurant job was a last resort, and the week I had swallowed the last of my pride was the week I got a call from a recruiter, six weeks after becoming a pro sofa surfer.?

It was a design role: Environmental Graphic Designer for LinkedIn in Silicon Valley, four hundred miles north of Orange County. I remember the recruiter telling me the pay was “around 45”. I knew that you always counter, so I said, “I was thinking around 58”, I thought he initially meant $45,000 a year. He said “58” would work and then clarified that this was the hourly rate working full-time and possibly overtime, not the annual salary. If I landed this job I would be tripling my former income in Charlotte. He booked the phone interview.?

Penniless I may have been but I was not short on boldness.?

I booked (on credit) a flight to San Jose and stayed with another friend. I googled ‘LinkedIn interviews’ and read articles on their panel interview format and what types of questions they might ask me.?

On the phone interview I happened to mention, “I’m staying fifteen minutes away if you’d like to meet in person”. Casual. Not desperate (though I was). Hopeful. Confident (though I wasn't). They took the bait.?

And that’s how I secured round two of the interview.

The campus was university-like. Spread out and littered with people in casual clothes and logo’d book bags. Did I mention the sun was shining in Sunnyvale? Very on brand. The energy of the employees was productive but not hurried. My ‘panel interview’ was just two quirky guys with artist backgrounds at a campus coffee bar. The conversation was easy, fun, and straight forward. They asked if I’d like to meet the team and go to lunch; a positive sign.

It felt like meeting friends after class. The chemistry was palpable and now I wanted this opportunity even more. Hungry for this culture presented to me and eager to be creative again.

The next day I landed back in LA and had a voicemail from the recruiter. I called back with all my hope and desperation tangled within the pit of my stomach. He said congratulations. I had landed the job.

A series of decisions on my part made this possible, but the most important choice I made was that initial leap. I took a chance on myself, and the uncertainty of where or how I would land became the driving force to not only survive, but to learn to trust that feeling, that voice, that intuition.

This role helped me discover and project my voice at a time where I still hesitated to express my opinions. This opportunity led me to New York City and filled my passport with experiences that provided me with a global network of peers and friends. This leap gave me the courage to leap again and again and make an impact along the way. This chapter included my best work as a designer, leader, and change maker.

And I’m not done yet.?

I don’t share this to encourage anyone to go into debt chasing a feeling or to upend your life to couch surf and cry in a friend’s closet on occasion. I share this story, my story, to encourage you to listen to and honor that nudge, because it isn’t there by accident.

Everything I needed during a creative void in my life was on the other side of that leap.

If you are uncomfortably comfortable, I urge you to explore that discomfort. Take a chance. Say yes to you.