Say "No" at work without feeling guilty

Hey You!

How are you feeling today? Just pause and actually analyze how you are feeling in this moment. I have had a lot of things happen in the past couple of months, and I am just now taking a break to catch my breath before diving back into the fray.?

One of the most difficult things for us to do as adults is to say No. We find ourselves agreeing to things that drain us or to people and places we would rather avoid because we feel guilty or obligated to say “Yes”. This also plays out in our workplaces. We find ourselves saying “Yes” to that additional work, to late nights and impossible deadlines because we believe that saying “No” makes us seem selfish or unhelpful. More often than not, we end up saying “Yes”, even if it comes at the expense of our own wellbeing or priorities.?

When I started working, as with most organizations, you end up working late nights. Even as an intern, I had no choice but to work as late as was required. Tasks were arbitrarily added, which extended working hours because you were expected to turn them in the next day. You have no choice but to do it because you are trying to put your best foot forward and “No” didn't really seem like an option. I carried this habit into several other roles. I remember feeling so snowed under one day at work and one of the directors reached out to ask if I could support on another project. Given my normal programming, I said yes. However, I was so overwhelmed and ended up missing the deadline. Understandably, she was angry with me. I had to explain that I had a lot on my plate at the time, but I didn't want to let her down which prompted me to say yes. After my explanation, she calmed down a bit and made me understand that I didn't have to always say yes and I could actually say no to her and push back provided that I had a good reason.?

So the next time a colleague reached out to me when I had a lot on my plate, I said “No”. It was terrifying the first few times, realizing that I actually had an opinion and didn't have to figure out how to magically deliver on everything at the same time. It's still somewhat terrifying, but it has gotten easier with time to say no. Does this mean all your colleagues would readily accept “No” even when you are obviously overwhelmed? No. Does it mean you should always say “No” to additional tasks even when you have capacity? No. The key is balance.

When you continuously say “Yes” to additional responsibilities even when you lack the capacity, you risk overextending yourself. This can lead to burnout, decreased productivity and ultimately, a decline in quality of your work. By saying “No” when necessary, you protect your time and energy, allowing you to focus on your primary responsibilities and excel in them. Contrary to popular belief, saying “No” can actually enhance your reputation in your workplace. When done respectfully and with clear communication, it shows that you understand your limits, prioritize quality work, and possess a strong sense of self-awareness. Regardless of how hard working you are, your colleagues are more likely to respect someone who knows when to say “No” rather than someone who overcommits and underdelivers.?

Love & Light

Ujunwa