Say Thank You and Mean It

Not long ago I conducted a leadership survey for one of my clients. For the most part, employees and leaders both agreed on the leadership development needs for their organization.

But there was one area where leaders’ and employees’ views on the same thing were way off: Encouragement and recognition.

This wasn’t a surprise.

As employees, we always want more reassurance that we’re on the right track, that we’re not missing anything important, that our jobs aren’t at risk.

As leaders, we want our staff to feel that we value them, because we really do. But our attention is drawn to the things that aren't done, and to the problems instead of the good things going well. This is often our blind spot.

The leaders’ view is often, “No news is good news. If I needed something different, I would tell you. I am nearly overwhelmed with other things to be thinking about.”

But that’s not good enough.

Employees want to hear from their leaders, “Thank you. You are doing okay, I appreciate what you are contributing, and everything is good.”

Employees always want more while leaders always think they are giving enough.

But in this it is the employees' view that counts.

If you want to be a stronger leader, practice active appreciation.

Say thank you to the people on your team for the work they do. Be specific in catching them doing things right. And be sincere about it.

Because our brains are wired to look for things that are threatening, it takes at least 3 positive social messages like this to balance out 1 negative or corrective message.

Reflect, appreciate, and share.

Make a habit as a leader of spending just 2-5 minutes a day feeling gratitude for what your employees do for the team. And then tell them.

This has a set of benefits:

• It activates the positive Sage region of your brain and quiets your Saboteur survival brain.
• It allows you to dedicate some time to focusing on the positive, which makes you open to empathy, creativity, innovation, and focused action.
• It builds your “emotional bank account” with your employees so that they are willing to help you out with tough things because you have already showed that you care enough about them to do the same.
• It quiets your employees’ concerns, coming from their Saboteurs, about whether they are measuring up or at risk.
• It is simply the right thing to do for other people with whom you work.

DO THIS: Put a task or appointment into your calendar each day to, “Feel Gratitude. Appreciate What’s Good. Share Encouragement.”

Make a habit of this and not only will you feel better, your employees will, too. And if you need a reason beyond “Do the right thing,” also recognize that this simple technique will help both you and your team produce better results.

This seems like such a little thing, but it is a foundational building block of mental fitness and effective leadership.

This is built into the 6-week Positive Intelligence? Core Program that I teach, as well as the leadership training and coaching solutions I deliver. But what works best for you? Please share your own tips and techniques with me or schedule some time to network and we’ll talk. I’d love to hear your thoughts and advice!

All the best,

–Steve