Say "Sorry" more... or less? (Your Thursday Three Things for October 17, 2024)

Hey everyone, Jon Macaskill here, back with your weekly dose of wellness and leadership tips. This week, before we get into it, I want to give a shoutout to Dr. Sarah Spradlin - a Marine Corps Officer veteran turned psychologist - for inspiring this week’s edition. Sarah’s post was all about breaking the habit of over-apologizing —and it got me thinking about the balance between saying “sorry” when it’s needed and saying it too much. Thanks, Sarah!

Now, onto this week’s topic—the power of saying “sorry” and how to strike the right balance. Whether it's a genuine apology or one of those automatic “sorry’s” we toss out for things that aren’t even our fault, knowing when and how to apologize is a critical part of leadership.

The Power of Saying “Sorry”

Let’s start with the good side of saying sorry. When done right, a heartfelt apology can do wonders for your leadership:

1. It Builds Trust: Owning up to mistakes creates a sense of psychological safety. If your team sees that you’re willing to admit when you’re wrong, they’re more likely to trust you.
2. It Creates Stronger Bonds: People appreciate vulnerability. When you show that you’re human and can make mistakes, it deepens the connection between you and your team.
3. It Sets the Example: When you model accountability, you’re showing your team that it’s okay to make mistakes as long as you learn from them. This helps foster a culture of growth, learning, and resilience.

Dan Coyle, in his book "The Culture Code," talks about the power of admitting mistakes through the simple phrase, “I screwed that up!” He explains that these words are essential for team bonding and psychological safety. It’s a way to show your team that perfection isn’t the goal—improvement is. Owning your mistakes makes your leadership more authentic and relatable.

But here’s where it gets tricky—apologizing too much can have the opposite effect.

The Danger of Over-Apologizing

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