Say it Right or Say Nothing!

Say it Right or Say Nothing!

We all struggle with knowing when to speak up and typically fall into one of three types of communicators:

  1. Those who say nothing
  2. Those who say everything
  3. Those who speak with perfect timing and insight

Types 1 and 2 often end up in the same place - unheard. One is too quiet, and the other too loud so they are tuned out.


So, what makes type 3 so effective?? They follow the "3 + 1 Say It" framework.


First, they ask themselves three key questions (in order):

1. Does this need to be said?

2. Does it need to be said now?

3. Does it need to be said by me?

These emotionally intelligent questions help them decide if their words will bring value and make a real impact.


If all answers to the questions are “yes”, they don’t just blurt out their comment without further thought.? What comes next is the important “+ 1” question.? The question that increases their ability to be heard.?


The question is:? How would “love” say it?


This question embodies the Connected Leader, someone who:

  • Understands people
  • Maintains resolve and determination
  • Is artful in their ability influence and deliver impact

Even when the message is tough, a leader who speaks with care increases their chances of being heard. Listening is the heart of communication, and without it, there is no communication that occurs.


One of my clients is transforming their company’s culture with this simple practice. They are winning over their team by not only:

  • Asking the right questions
  • Making the tough decisions
  • Encouraging ownership with accountability

But most importantly, they are practicing the “Say it” framework which is opening individuals to new possibilities and creating space for a new cultural norm.??


Q:? What could asking, "How would love say it?" do for your ability to influence?


__________________ __________________

?? Motivated people hire me to create powerful strategies so they can make their next move.? Is now your time?? If so, book an appointment so we can discuss further.

__________________ __________________

Christa Drew

Executive Director & Consultant

6 个月

Yes, my favorite 'Captain's Log' yet! Powerful framework & approach. I think this is about 'being heard' in addition to 'influence'. So often our impulsive or rough communications don't really land at all. I had this in mind during the complex 2hr mtg I just facilitated and it takes real intention and practice. Thanks for the post!

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