Say "No" Not To Lose Yourself
Eugene Terekhin
Houston-based ATA-certified Russian translator and interpreter/VO artist/SEO content strategist/ghostwriter/educator/author. Over 100 books translated. Recommended by Owen Barfield Literary Estate.
What happens when we say NO?
We draw a line in the sand.
We are no longer playing “nice.”
We are no longer trying to fit in so people will accept us.
And we risk being rejected.
It’s scary.
In the age of increased polarization, a desire to belong is almost irresistible.
We all want to find true belonging.
But, according to Brene Brown, true belonging, starts with self-acceptance.
Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you’re enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.
So, we have drawn the line. We have chosen to belong to no one.
No one except me.
We said “NO” loud and clear.
And now we are alone.
Alone in the wilderness.
Can we brave it?
Is it worth it?
Do I have what it takes to stand alone?
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And what is the price of losing yourself?
The price of losing myself is losing my identity, worth, and sense of personal power.
The price of fitting in is a never-ending inner conflict.
When we desperately seek belonging, we experience an inner split and inner stress leading to sickness – if it goes on for too long.
Saying NO is taking your power back.
Saying NO is taking your wholeness back.
“NO” is one of the most empowering words because it helps us define who we are.
Who we are is non-negotiable. Take it or leave it.
Saying “NO” means I have worth. And I am not discussing it with anyone.
I may not belong to you, but I belong to myself.
And when I belong to myself, I experience the wholeness I never knew.
The inner conflict is gone the moment I dare to say “no.”
I am prepared to go alone. I am prepared to stay in the wilderness.
I may feel scared, but I am not divided anymore.
Brene Brown writes,
True belonging requires us to believe in and belong to ourselves so fully that we can find sacredness both in being a part of something and in standing alone when necessary.
The path of true belonging cuts right through the wilderness.