They Say It's Hormonal: But Here's Why You Can't Control the Drain and Emotions
Maty Mariko
??UAE Business Award Best Burnout Recovery Coach | MEA Excellence Award in Career Support Solutions 2024 |?? Eradicate burnout | Transform toxic relationships | Regain energy, feel whole again.??
You know her. You see her every day, maybe at work, in the metro, at home, or simply when you look in the mirror because there's a chance, she is you.
?? Sleepless Nights: The Endless Cycle
She barely sleeps at night. Tossing and turning, replaying how stressful the day was. The alarm goes off, reminding her that another day has just started. She goes, “Oh, no, not another day” and hits snooze. But she’s already there, stressed and anxious about what’s coming. Prepared for it to be “nothing good.”
?? Dragging Through the Morning: The Daily Routine
One foot on the ground, then the other, she grabs her phone on her way to the bathroom. Regardless of how early it is, she always expects a call to come in. She worries her boss is going to call. She can’t help thinking about it. Him yelling, criticizing her performance, calling her a loser because her team isn’t meeting his standards.
?? Mind Full of Worries: The Mental Load
With each thought piling up, she feels more hurt, less capable, less confident, and more inadequate as an individual and as a professional. That whole one-way inner conversation where she imagines the worst fills her with anxiety. She can’t stop repeating to herself, “I hate that guy.” “But I have no choice. That’s my job, my career. That’s who I am.” She goes round and round in her mind, adding even more pressure onto herself. Setting herself even higher expectations. Then she rushes out to work, mentally prepared to feel drained and abused.
?? Social Media Stings: The Comparison Trap
On the train, she gets those social media notifications. You know the type that reminds you that today is your 5th anniversary with your partner. And then you go, well, she goes nope, because we broke up 9 months ago. Or a picture of her friend announcing her promotion or getting married to the person of their dreams. It pinches, it hurts to see a reminder, a confirmation that you are not where you wanted to be at this time in your life. It hurts to think that others have it so easy while you constantly struggle, though you’re always there for everybody.
?? Stressful Calls: Emotional Rollercoaster
Seeing those notifications brings a rush of emotions. And just like that, she starts daydreaming about what could have been. Her phone rings. It’s her ex. She’s panicking. “Should I get that? Nope, not falling for that one!” “Just let it go to voicemail.” Now they’re texting: “I miss you.” Here comes a sudden desire to cry. “But no! Hold it. Keep it together.” “You’ll have plenty of time to cry yourself to sleep tonight.”
?? Overwhelmed at Work: Nonstop Stress
She arrives at the office. Turns her computer on. 31 emails in her inbox, all titled: URGENT. And it’s not even 8 AM. She tries to focus and get some work done, but notifications keep dinging from everywhere—her phone, her computer. Each ping adds to the stress. It's hard to stay focused and calm. She’s hyperventilating. And another call comes in. This time it’s her mother. She goes on and on about the neighbor. So, she says, “Can we talk about this some other time? I’m at work right now.” Her mother goes, “But when? You never have a minute for me anymore. It’s always about work, work, work.”
?? Mom Guilt: The Hidden Weight
Now she feels guilty for not being there for her mother, adding to her frustration, stress, and anxiety. Finally, the day ends, and she is exhausted. On her way home, her daughter asks her to get some ice cream and cookies. She stops at the local store and heads home. There are like 20 people at the till. She knows this is going to take forever. She walks into the house, and it’s a mess. The kitchen, the living room, a disaster. Her daughter had a lunch party. Conveniently, she’s out. It’s at least an hour to clean up. The youngest is home, waiting for her to help with the homework. The first thing they say is, “What’s for dinner?”
?? Evening Chaos: The Never-Ending List
Finally, she’s done with the cleaning, the homework, the dinner, the tucking into bed. She crashes on the couch, exhausted. She checks her inbox. Bills and more bills to pay. Instant panic. Her daughter walks in. She’s freaking out. She has a job interview tomorrow but no resume. She goes, “Why didn’t you work on it instead of partying and going out?” And she goes, “Because I needed you.” She’s manipulating her, but hey, she’s her kid, and that works anytime.
?? Up All Night: No Time for Yourself
So, she jumps to her laptop to craft her resume. It’s now past midnight. She didn’t get a minute to herself all evening. But she has got to be up in about five hours, and if she doesn’t go to sleep right now, the next day will be unmanageable. She lies down and all she can think of is how lonely and unfulfilled her life is. Her needs aren’t met, and she misses the intimacy. Her mind wanders. Already building the anticipation of how challenging tomorrow will be. This is her story, but it might be a bit of your story too. Think about it.
?? The Reality Check: Face the Truth
Before she started this work on herself, before this program, she would say things like: “I’ll get some rest on the weekend. I’ll wait for the holiday to recharge. I just need to take some vitamins for a while. I don’t know what got into me, but I get so upset for no reason lately and I can’t help it. It must be hormonal.” But really? For no reason. Come on! Deep down, you know weekends, holidays, vacation times won’t cut it. You don’t know what got into you? “It must be hormonal.” Yeah, right. It would be a lot easier if it was the case. But it isn’t. You’ve got to stop lying to yourself. The reason you’re so upset, jumpy, stressed, drained is because of the pressure you put on yourself. It’s because you do it all for everyone but yourself. It’s because of the self-neglect and self-sacrifice.
领英推荐
?? The Daily Struggle: Recognize the Pattern
This is the reality that many of us face. It’s not just one of these things that hits us every day, but multiple ones. And we let those things become our constants. So, yes, you know her, and she might even be you.
?? Reflect and Recognize: Understand Your Triggers
Look, I’m not gonna tell you to set boundaries because I know being everything for everyone is how you’ve been defining yourself forever. But I want you to look at what pushes your buttons. I want you to understand that you cannot control something you haven’t identified yet or understand.
?? Find Your Triggers: Start Here
So, this week is about that. Looking at what generates a strong emotion in your daily life. The kind of emotion you qualify as uncontrollable. Because those triggers are attached to beliefs, and beliefs are just thoughts you’ve repeated long enough to think they are yours and see as true. So, you never challenge them. And just like that, they form the blueprint of your reality. All because the mind works non-stop to make them so.
?? Self-Reflection Exercise ??
?? Reflect:
Where are these thoughts leading me?
How do I want to feel instead?
?? Need Clarity? ??
Send me a private message. Because just like the hero of this real-life story, this may be your time to empower yourself. To realize that what you are experiencing and feeling is not just happening to you but for you. Do it to better your life. Do it because you want a quick chat with a professional. This will not be a sales call but one to bring you some clarity.
?? Transforming Recurring Feelings ??
Be in this for change. Through self-reflection, you'll discover that empowerment comes from changing the story you tell yourself about who you are and what you can do. But you need to create a habit out of it because the mind learns by repetition. If you want to change your current beliefs, you have to put consistent effort into it, just like you did when integrating them. The more you do it, the faster you’ll take it in and make that replacement stick.
I want you to think about this before next episode. How long will you wait? How bad does it have to get before you choose to make yourself the priority? Your job here is to empower yourself just by making a simple decision. Mine is to guide you when you need me.
Leave a comment. Share about your experience, share about this read, about you.
Until next week’s episode, sending much love your way.
With love,
Maty x
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Very helpful!