Say NO Diplomatically Confidently Assertively using these statements

In this article you will learn the following

-6 Dilemma Many of us struggle with - of when and who to say No and also when and who so say Yes

-14 Mandatory Risk-Analysis you Must Do Before you say No

-12 Situations when you must say No

-42 Tips creating right emotional-mental state - before you can start saying No

-42 Practical Statements of You can Use to Say No [13 sandwich statements of saying No + 18 Standard statements of saying No + 6 statements saying No giving alternate solutions - especially when case the person, the relationship, the request is important]

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Learning to say NO effectively — helps you push-back when pushed and deal with bullies, difficult, toxic and dominant people - effectively to maintain your self-worth and self-esteem.

Saying No to low-priority, insignificant and irrelevant - can help you focus on the most important tasks and goals

Saying no to other’s demands and requests - those which only pressurizes you without adding much positive value - can help you avoid burn-out and unnecessary stress.

Please understand that - there are no sure-shot formula, method or technique - of saying No - without facing the connotation, consequence and without making others feels bad.

You also have to accept that in many situations and with few people - you may not have any choice or freedom of saying No.

But yes - with practice and continuous refinement - you would be able to say No effectively - to most unreasonable, illogical, suppressing-dominating people and situation.

You can learn and master and fine-tune the art of saying No - to come out as suave, polished, sophisticated, balanced, assertive and as a leader.

Saying no doesn’t come naturally to most of us - because of how we were raised by our parents, the impact of parent’s personalities on us, the authoritative/influential figures in our life during our growing up years, how we were schooled and the type of societal norms we were made to conform.

Many of you may feel guilty, ashamed, disappointed, anxious, stressed and scared - when you deny or turn down requests of few people in your life.

You are likely to feel drained, stretched, fatigued, listless, uninspired and stressed -when you accept the most of the demands of others.

Saying No is essential - for your mental-emotional wellbeing as well as for your success, happiness, growth, good-relationships etc.

With practice you can come out with sentences that not only let you express your refusal diplomatically, tactfully and assertively - and also show you as concerned, compassionate and caring human-being - besides making you feel good about yourself.

In this articles I have given few sentences that I have used in different situations and with different people - after I learned the importance-of and started practicing the art of saying No and of assertiveness in my day to day life.

6 Dilemma Many of us struggle with - of when and who to say No and when and who so say Yes

1.??How do you say no without offending powerful people and seniors

2.??How do you turn down requests without coming out poor-team player

3.??How do you say no to time-wasters without creating an impression of being asocial

4.??How do you avoid looking arrogant when you say No assertively and stick with it

5.??How do you create opportunity by refusing unimportant

6.??How to Say No to low-priority things to focus on the most important one

7.??Would being assertive make you lose on relationships, privileges and influence

14 Mandatory Risk-Analysis you Must Do Before you say No -Assess the merit of the request or demand - check

1.??If the request is an opportunity in disguise - that you may regret refusing later

2.??If it adds value to your top-priorities and important goals

3.??Whether you are obliged to help - meaning you have less leeway on choice

4.??What would be the impact - on the person making this request - of your refusal - is it a life-death situation for this person

5.??How would accepting this request - impact your own priorities positively as well as negatively

6.??How would refusing this request help you and your loved-ones negatively as well as positively

7.??Whether the request irrational, irresponsible and inconsequential

8.??Is the person making the request trying to use his/her power to dominate/control you

9.??Will accepting this request make you suffer a lot of personal loss

10.??????????????Will refusing make you feel god about yourself or fill you with regret or guilt

11.??????????????Is it feasible and possible for you to keep the request and yet keep up with your other commitments and priority

12.??????????????Can you accept the request for a later period

13.??????????????Can you help the person - by outsourcing it to someone

14.??????????????What would be the short-long term repercussions/ consequence/impact of ?- doing/not doing -what is being asked of you

12 Situations when you must say No

1.??You are Being Taken Advantage Of

2.??You are Being Asked to Do Something Unethical or Unsafe

3.??Someone Needs Last-Minute Help on an Unreasonable Deadline

4.??The Task Interferes With Your Primary Work?

5.??You are on Vacation or Sick

6.??When it is not aligned with your interests or scope of work

7.??When you just simply don’t want to do it

8.??When you start to feel resentful or angry

9.??Maybe you are saying yes too much to some people and some situations - and this is a sign to start saying no judiciously

10.??????????????When you are clear that - you can’t help because you don’t have neither the bandwidth nor the desire

11.??????????????When you have made up the mind to say no

12.??????????????You want to be nice for everyone - so you keep on obliging them by taking load which neglects your own priorities and pushes you towards burnout

42 Tips creating right emotional-mental state - before you start saying No

[many of these tips have detailed do-it-yourself articles among 900+ blogs in my two websites and 3000+ answers on my Quora page]

1.??Choose a response which clearly shows that you are saying no to this particular request only - and not the person who is making the demand

2.??Accept that - however you frame your response - some people would take your No - very hard

3.??Practice and Accept the discomfort and the awkwardness of saying No - it is ok to have momentary uncomfortable feeling

4.??Understand that saying No helps you avoid burnout and to remain sane

5.??Most people start thinking about how to keep everyone happy - please understand - that being a people-pleaser - you will never get to live your life - a fulfilling and blissful ways

6.??Understand that Saying yes more to other’s request may compromise with your productivity

7.??Mentally rehearse and keep a thoughtful yet clear response ready - use I sentences

8.??Always have a powerful Yes [the reason] - why you are saying No

9.??Provide context about why you are saying no - give a balanced perspective

Saying no gracefully is one of the most difficult life skills to actually master, whether personally or professionally.

10.??????????????Be straightforward honest and up front about your reasons - Although you are not supposed to explain or justify or prove to others - it is better that you have a very powerful reason for refusal

11.??????????????Don’t give too much explanations and apologies - in case you are challenged - be steady and clear about your reasons which can be backed by sound-rationale

12.??????????????Acknowledge the request by being empathetic and compassionate

13.??????????????Never make the other person feel bad for asking you for help

14.??????????????If the relationship is important and the request also reasonable - Offer a alternate solution

15.??????????????Start with a sincere apology [if you want to help but really unable to] without sandwiching and padding it insincere words

16.??????????????Share your task-based calendar public

17.??????????????Repeat your No - Don’t be afraid to say it twice - Just smile and shake your head - Remind yourself of the opportunity cost

18.??????????????Trust your gut -Learn to not be conned - Read up on the tricks used by con artists - when you are dealing with a mean person or manipulator

19.??????????????Learn to Bargain and Negotiate to get an understanding that creates win-win

20.??????????????Avoid people who would just download their own responsibilities on you- with this type of people you can use creative white lies

21.??????????????Tell them that It is not them but that it is you - Air your discomfort - and say that you wish you could

22.??????????????When someone tries to create an impression that by helping them how you get benefitted Thanks but no thanks

23.??????????????You can also empathizes by saying that you know that they were not expecting your No

24.??????????????Reduce your availability - stop giving your contact details - specially your mobile number

25.??????????????Don’t offer excuses - Offering an excuse may seem like the polite way to decline a request, but it sets you up for an awkward situation

26.??????????????Learn to identify, set and enforce personal boundaries and maintaining positive relationships is important

27.??????????????Never give false hope - use words that does not leave anything chance for confusing your intent

28.??????????????Get over your temptation to soften your refusal and saying No

29.??????????????If you are feeling guilty - do not go overboard - by giving the other person lots of undeserved concessions and privileges

30.??????????????Accept that - when you say No - there would be negative reactions, outbursts, tantrums, drama and other emotional blackmail techniques

31.??????????????Please understand - how other person takes your refusal is not within your control

32.??????????????Don’t get pulled between your saying no and maintaining and preserving a relationship

33.??????????????Show a willingness to pitch in by inquiring if there are small ways you can be helpful to the project

34.??????????????Never Use abrupt, insensitive and or hesitant tone - neither be overly polite - be soft-be firm

35.??????????????Learn to Let go of the guilt - understand that anyone can ask or request anything and just because someone asks you for something doesn’t mean you are obligated to give it

36.??????????????If someone wants you to collaborate with them on a project, introduce them to someone else who might be interested - you goal is to offer a different solutions -so they don’t take offense to you saying no, and you don’t feel guilty for turning down a request

37.??????????????Know your workload, commitments and priorities?

38.??????????????Accept that you have to control of your time - You can’t let other people set your agenda in life

39.??????????????Learn to handle difficult, toxic, manipulative, mean and arrogant people -for each of these types I have separate detailed blogs in my this website]

40.??????????????Learn to deal with rejections and frustrations effectively

41.??????????????Learn to deal with pressure effectively

42.??????????????Learn to manage your anger and stress

42 Practical Statements of You can Use to Say No [these are examples - you can use them as it is or create your own using your own ingenuity]

1.??If you’re just starting out - you don’t have to jump straight to saying NO [BUT Don’t rely on your laters forever-because over using later-technique - will create your impression as untrustworthy, insincere]

2.??Saying no can be tough- Make your default response to any request - Let me get back to you [till you are comfortable in saying No]

3.??13 sandwich statements of saying No

????I.???????Say that It is an honor But Unfortunately - It’s not possible right now

??II.???????Say that you are flattered - but can’t do

?III.???????Tell that although you appreciate their approaching and thinking of you as a valuable/helpful resource BUT these favors are beginning to cause disruption in your main scope of work

?IV.???????Say that you would love to - but because of the urgency of your commitment you really can’t

?V.???????Say that you have to deliver an outcome by AND that you are already behind

?VI.???????Say that you enjoy working with them but this time it won’t be possible

VII.???????Say that thanks for the invite/request - but you won’t be able to because of prior commitment

VIII.???????Thank them for thinking of you for this project BUT unfortunately you don’t have the bandwidth to take it on AND that you will definitely let them know if that changes

?IX.???????Say that you appreciate their thinking of you for this opportunity BUT this is outside of your expertise

?X.???????Say that you enjoyed helping them last time but it is not possible this time

?XI.???????Say that it is so thoughtful of them and that you appreciate their offer - BUT right now this won’t be the right choice

XII.???????Tell that you know it is challenging for you but you don't have the capacity to help them

XIII.???????Tell that you are not interested this time but you are sure there are many who would love this opportunity

6 statements saying No giving alternate solutions - especially when case the person, the relationship, the request is important

This article was originally published as “42 Statements to say no to anyone diplomatically “ in https://successunlimited-mantra.com/index.php/blog [1st]for more than 3000+ blogs, articles and answers on creating metamorphosis in every aspect of your life - personal, professional, business, mental, emotional, social, relationships - please visit all three links https://relationshipandhappiness.com/ [2nd] and https://www.quora.com/profile/Subhashis-Banerji [3rd]

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