Say no to corporal punishment

Changing attitudes towards corporal punishment requires education, awareness-raising, and the promotion of positive parenting and teaching practices. It's important to provide parents, and educators with evidence-based information about the harmful effects of corporal punishment and to offer support and resources for implementing alternative disciplinary strategies. It is not only in Pakistan but in other parts of the world too - people still believe that corporal punishment is essential for parenting or teaching for several reasons. Peaceful personality development for me is not possible with the imprints of punishment on child’s developmental log.

Initially when I think of Pakistani scenario it seems that corporal punishment is deeply ingrained as a disciplinary practice and is seen as necessary for teaching children respect and obedience. The cultural norms can be difficult to change, where individuals with authoritarian parenting beliefs may view corporal punishment as necessary for maintaining discipline within the homes or classrooms. They usually prioritize obedience and compliance in the name of respect, over fostering positive relationships and emotional development. In some cases, people also tend to justify corporal punishment based on religious or cultural beliefs that emphasize the importance of strict obedience to authority (in the name of elder and respected) figures.

While working with teachers and teacher educators in Pakistan I found many people believe that corporal punishment is synonymous with discipline and that it is necessary to teach children right from wrong through punishment and reward. Initially I thought that they may not be aware of alternative disciplinary approaches that are more effective in promoting positive behavior and emotional well-being. They may believe that it is an effective way to discipline children because it was commonly used in the past or because they were themselves raised with corporal punishment. But to my surprise the teacher educators and many teachers are aware of the research demonstrating the negative consequences of corporal punishment, but still they simply refuse to adopt alternatives.

Parents and families that I talk to, usually do not have the knowledge of alternative ways. The adults in a household who are stressed, overwhelmed, or lacking effective communication skills resort to corporal punishment out of frustration or a lack of alternative strategies. They perceive it as a quick and easy way to control their children's behavior in the short term. Parenting was never addressed in our educational institutions; and parenting is only learned at home. The next generation may carry the same norms and values as they witnessed at home. It is usually said that parents have to have a good cop bad cop role. I keep thinking why should we use any such metaphor for parenting. The child is not born criminal and we need to accept that. Some social interactions with different kinds of households can bring positive change gradually and slowly. Social mobility also helps when they move from one locale to another where physical punishment is discouraged.

Having background in education and applied psychology I know many alternative ways of behavior modification that can be used at home and in schools, which include effective communication, and self-regulation skills. Encouraging open communication with children, allowing them to express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns helps more than anything else. Parents and teachers need to use active listening techniques and empathize with their perspective, even when setting limits or addressing challenging behaviors. Secondly, we need to realize as adults that we can neither always monitor nor always be there to mentor them. Children need to be brought up with self-regulation skills. Learning with details might help them. Why the Do’s and Don’ts are useful and harmful. Why you want them to extinct certain behaviors is important for them to know. They are not to be trained or tamed, they are to be educated.

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