4 Steps to Reclaiming Your Day

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I want you to think back to the last time you had a bad day.

Now ask yourself, was it really a bad day, or did you allow a bad moment to define the entire 24 hours?

If the answer is YES, then, you are not alone.

I was the same, until I took back my personal power.

I am going to share with you my 4 steps to reclaiming your day.

 But first let me share a story with you...

 Story time

December 2019...

It was a cold miserbale and rainy morning and I was waiting to receive some news about a job I had applied for.

The role was PERFECT, I had found the proverbial needle in a haystack. 

A part time role in an asset management firm, at a non-executive level, with a salary that reflected my actual career level...PERFECT!  This role would provide me with the flexibility needed to reenter the workforce with a newly acquired disability.

I had decided the week before I applied that I was finally healthy enough to return to work, so the timing was wonderful, just what I needed to start 2020!

Having been informed I was the only candidate under consideration, I was just waiting to receive my interview date so I could win them over! 

Finally, the call came...but it wasn't the news I was expecting. 

"Were sorry to inform you that they have filled the role, they have decided to hire a former employee via manager referral."

 I was gutted, no disappointed, no frustrated!

It wasn’t even 10am so, I think it's fair to say it was a pretty miserable way to start my morning.

However, I acknowledged, the phone call didn’t rob me of my personal power.

The power of choice.

I still had the power to choose how the rest of my day was going to be.

 Here were my choices. I could:

1. Write off the rest of the day and wallow in disappointment, berate myself for not securing the job. Internalise the foregone opportunity as a failure on my part.
2. Acknowledge that I have the rest of the day to my disposal, the situation was out of my control, the right opportunity will find its way to me and then make the rest of the day a great one!

Being the person I am, I recognised there were two choices, but only one option. I was going to make it a great day! 

I refused to allow a single phone call to dictate the rest of my day. 

If you dropped one slice of cake on the floor, would you throw the rest of the cake away? Sounds ridiculous, right?

But that is what many of us do with our day. We have a bad moment in our day and then decide that is the tone for the rest of the day. 

I have some great news, often times we are the authors of our own suffering.

How can this be a great thing?

If we are the authors of our own suffering, we can be the creator of our own peace and joy.

 So how do we change that?

How do you become the creator of peace and not the author of suffering?

 Here is my guide to having no more bad days!

Warning: This guide is simple, but it is not easy!

4 Steps to Reclaiming Your Day

1.Remember who you REALLY are! 

First thing first. You are an AMAZING person.

Bad situations do not define who you are as a person!  What does define you is how you respond to said situation.

Do not: Internalise bad situations, thinking that bad things only happen to you

 Do:

• Remind yourself you are an amazing person.
• Remember that life is full of opportunities for growth.

 ME: I remembered I am a solution focused optimist, who has overcome every challenge faced. I recognised that the disappointing news didn’t define me as a person and was not a reflection on my employability and intellect.

 2. Acknowledge how you feel.

 Your feelings are valid. As humans, we have natural emotive responses to stimuli. There is no shame or weakness in “negative” emotions.  

Do Not: Dismiss or ignore your feelings, it’s an impossible task. Trust me, I’ve spent years trying to my detriment. 

Do: Be kind to yourself . Give yourself permission to not be positive and strong all the time. Allow yourself to feel the emotions you are experiencing.

 ME: I think we can all agree, I was completely justified in feeling disappointed after the phone call.

3. Express how you feel! (Appropriately)

Emotion is energy in motion. Energy cannot be created or destroyed only transferred or transmuted.

Speaking as a former emotional introvert, storing that type of energy internally creates inflammation within our bodies that can lead to illness. 

Do not:

• Numb your feelings with unhealthy habits and behaviours
• Be angry and unkind with those around you

Do:

• Express how you feel
• Journal
• Speak to a trusted friend/coach/counsellor/therapist
• Do something creative

ME: After I hung up the phone, I sought out my journal. Journaling does not only allow me to express how I feel, it allows me to be introspective and gain clearer understanding of why I feel the way I do.

For example:

What I felt: disappointment and frustration

Why I felt it: I was disappointed and frustrated at the lack of inclusion and diversity in the job market, via shared roles, for people like myself who want to get back into work.

4. Move on, Move forward

In the words of Elsa from Frozen, let it gooooo. The past has happened and is out of your control. What is within your control is what you can do right now to make yourself happy and improve the rest of your day.

Do not:

• Create a bad day from a bad situation
• Spread misery by being unkind and sullen

 Do:

• Be proactive in creating positivity for yourself and those around you
• Remember that there is still a bright shinning sun behind those grey clouds.

 ME: I pivoted my career ahead of a pandemic.

I began having critical conversations with c-suite stakeholders across the investment and savings industry advocating for greater inclusion and flexibility allowing young millennials  with chronic health conditions an opportunity to pursue their professional aspirations without burning out.

 If you are reading this, it is time to take back your personal power, and say goodbye to “bad days”.