Say It or Act It? Results Will Differ
Laura Berman Fortgang, MCC
Executive, Business, and Career Coach | Workshop Facilitation, Coach Mentor I Gain Career Clarity/Grow Your Coaching Business
The other day, one of my executive clients told me about some feedback he got during a review. The buzz around the office was that he made people feel stupid.
Whoa…
To be fair, "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent," is a bit of wisdom from former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt. True, but should people have to go around letting disparagement and hostility roll off their backs? Of course not.
Using a condescending communication style isn’t a good look for a leader. Having a reputation for talking down to people is no way to gain respect.
But my client isn’t a bully. He never intended to put anyone down or make them feel inadequate. So what the heck was going wrong?
I dug into his story, and here’s what I discovered:
He was frustrated because he found himself repeating the same things over and over…
His tone, facial expressions, and body language showed the frustration.?
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He was acting out his feelings, rolling his eyes, sighing heavily, and throwing his hands in the air as he expressed his frustration. Definitely not a good look!
Let me be clear. There isn’t anything wrong with expressing frustration, but do everyone a favor and skip the drama. It’s unprofessional, and it’s doing you and everyone around you a disservice.?
What should you do instead? Simply state what you’re feeling. "I’m feeling frustrated that I have to repeat myself, but here’s what I’d like you to do."
Whether you’re talking to your team members, coworkers, kids, or spouse, SPEAK the emotion rather than acting it out and spewing it at them.
Remember, perception is reality. If you give off the impression that you’re unreasonable and egotistic, there will be consequences in how your team operates. People will avoid you, problems will fester, and you’ll miss out on growth opportunities.
Consider the ripple effect of your actions and find ways to improve how you communicate. Say it, instead of acting it out!
To your success,
Laura
P.S.?If it’s time for a change, join me for a Spring retreat in Massachusetts at?KRIPALU?for my Career Clarity Retreat on April 19-21.
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1 年Thank you for sharing your latest newsletter! Your dedication to serving others is commendable, and I'm sure your insights will be invaluable to your audience. Communication and leadership development are essential topics, and your expertise as an executive coach brings great value to those seeking growth in these areas. Keep up the fantastic work!