Saturday Musings - My Windows Hell

Just over a week ago I was busily typing up an amazing analysis for my blog that covered “the meaning of life the universe and everything”. In other words, it was brilliant piece of work that caused my heart to skip a beat or two as it joined in the rhythm of my masterful keystrokes. I was in a really good place…..and that’s when disaster happened.

Some of you may be familiar with a BSOD. If you haven’t experienced a BSOD then let me say that the clock is ticking and that you should probably book in for an emergency session with either the local shrink or a big bottle of something that will make you forget about life for a while. Ideally, sharing the bottle with your shrink would probably be the best solution.

So what the heck is a BSOD? It’s a Microsoft Windows “Blue Screen Of Death”. Your screen goes blue (obviously) and a bunch of unintelligible gobble-de-gook gets plastered across which is really saying, “You’re stuffed.”

So nearing the end of my epiphany I found myself staring at blueness. To say that my brain was momentarily trapped in some other dimension as it began to comprehend what had just happened was an understatement. I found my mouth moving but no words came out. I was stunned into disbelief. My PC had just had a massive stroke caused by some cancerous program deep within!

Sometimes in life you just have to make tough decisions. My PC was now akin to a lame horse or Disney’s much loved faithful dog, “Old Yeller” that at the end of the movie had to be shot. Rather than nurse my computer back to health I made the difficult decision to send it to the gallows.

I should say from the outset that I hate upgrading computers and making the decision to get a new one was monumental. So after a spot of research and a chat with my business partner (he’s brilliant at this sort of thing) I’m now typing this blog on my new mega-fast PC. The only problem is that I made the mistake of upgrading to windows 8.1 rather than sticking with windows 7.

Seriously, Microsoft, could have possibly made it more difficult for me to get up and running? I think not. The start button takes you to who knows where and finding your programs now involves multiple clicks. The task bar is forever semi-transparent which makes it incredibly difficult the read and the quick launch bar has vanished (yet again).

After a quick Google it took me about 2 seconds to realise that there were a multitude of users complaining about exactly the same things that I was. Despite having updates every few seconds the boffins at Microsoft seem to think that basic useability is something to ignore.

What Microsoft needs to appreciate is that I use my iPad every day and an iphone 6 sits on my desk next to me. My three kids have iphones and Macbooks, my wife has an iphone and an ipad and we have two AppleTV devices. I’ve never read a manual or Googled anything about an Apple product…..they all just seem to work! So Microsoft, why are you putting me through so much pain! It is clear to me that your user interface designers were born in some cesspit at the bottom of a very dim dark well!

When my iphone 5 had battery problems (ie. Got red hot) I took it to the local Apple store and they apologised and gave me a new phone with all of my data on it. That’s called service! I know that Apple isn’t perfect. For example, we’ve all seen the videos that prove that if you subject an iphone 6 to several tons of weight it will actually bend. Seriously, Apple has built products that are easy to use….which means I think that I made a big mistake with Windows 8.1

So for the past week I’ve been wrestling with my new PC as well as another bout of the flu (that wasn’t good). I’m now about to install third party programs that make my task bar opaque and another one that gives me back my Windows 7 start menu. At $5 a shot these developers are making a fortune.

So within the next week I should hopefully get everything just about under control….that’s when I noticed a little icon that said, “Get Windows 10”. You’ve got to be kidding me! So what level of hell am I about to be inflicted with now?

Microsoft is giving away Windows 10 (initially) so it’s free….right? No it’s not free! I’ll have to rebuild my entire PC and go through another few weeks of working out where they’ve put everything again! So my advice is….stay clear of Windows 10 and let some other guinea pigs sort out the mess.

Believe it or not I’ve been a strong proponent of Windows and have used it for countless years (since windows 1.0). For me to develop such frustration and angst towards a tool that I use each day just shows how wrong Microsoft is getting it. I’m now seriously looking at moving everything to Apple….so Microsoft, you’re on notice!

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Michael Gilmour has been in business for over 32 years and has both a BSC in Electronics and Computer Science and an MBA. He was the former vice-chairman of the Internet Industry Association in Australia and is in demand as a speaker at Internet conferences the world over. He has also recently published his first science fiction book, Battleframe.

Michael is passionate about working with online entrepreneurs to help them navigate their new ventures around the many pitfalls that all businesses face. Due to demands on his time, Michael may be contacted by clicking here for limited consulting assignments.