The satisfied method adopter

The most crucial part of learning new methods, lessons, approaches and techniques is the implementation phase, a phase that requires much discipline, fortitude and drive… this time is of great importance as it will design the journey you’re going to travel and gives you a clearer view of what is ahead of you whilst being mindful of possible challenges. In the application of these newly found ways of life, we need to aim at adapting to those that bring significant meaning to our personal journeys. We avail ourselves to learning new hacks of life in order to easily get by, with so many options to choose from we don’t lack influence and choice. Day in day out I remain exposed to so many characters with different theories and perspectives on how to win in life but one that stood out for me was what I call “the X- method”…choose to be extreme in all you do, being extreme doesn’t mean forcing issues but means giving your complete self into everything that you choose to partake in, even the smallest things such as… I admire hard work, will, determination, communication and commitment. Being able to carry out these aspects brings me utter satisfaction therefore I spend much of my time developing these qualities in order to better myself and solve problems. I was and still am determined to achieve the things that the universe says are beyond me, amped by my willingness to learn, make mistakes, and get up when I fail. I’ve come to the realization that communication with oneself is of great significance! Speak life into your life, tell yourself that you can do, tell your abilities that they can stretch out beyond borders and be in sync with your inner voice for it will never steer you in the wrong direction and this has been my driving force to getting fear out of the way making me available and able.  

I was privileged in winning the top achiever award and had the opportunity to go overseas. I have never left the country before in my life, the only think that has left the country was my imagination. I had no idea what to expect but the things I have seen in TV and the internet. My mother and I were so ready for this and we had everything done on time, like passports, visas and the likes. On the plane I could see my mother nervous, but the excitement and joy killed all that. I made sure I let her seat by the window so she may see it all. I must say that this was a priceless moment for me. We landed in Dubai. The air around was so hot and yet the weather was cloudy. The weather so confusing, it made me appreciate home. The airport was the biggest, you could see it from the sky.  

It was not about the qualification, but the experience in getting the qualification.

We were there the fight interchange and got on to another plane to Austria. One of the safest cities in the world. Leaving in South Africa, with the background that we come from, I understand the behavior of the underprivileged and those who then to crime to feed their families or as form of survival, as in Johannesburg I know that the sooner you get home the better, not safe but better. In Austria, Vienna, walking 3 am alone is so safe the woman there were even in shorts at that time. For the first time in my life I felt so safe, it is a first world country and I cannot compare it to a third world country. They were so much ahead of my country with everything I could imagine. Even the most basic things. I walked around all night and got back to the hotel at 4 am. This was a dream life to me and a never seen before. I learnt that this is like taking two kids from different backgrounds and introducing them into each other’s world. The poor one would feel like it’s happening in the rich kid’s world. I remember when growing up, we never had any toys to play with. We always used a brick as a car and everything else around us was from our imagination. We were taken into the biggest palaces in the world. I was shocked, it had so many rooms and gardens. I had never seen a thing like that before and when we went to Italy, Sorrento. An island, buildings built at the ear of the mountains. Clean and full of lemons. It was so beautiful and had so much life

I gave everything that I did all of me, that became all the energy I fed my universe and as the law of attraction thesis suggests “Like energy attracts like”. One afternoon I received a detailed email from HR informing me that I was eligible and have been nominated to apply to compete for the Rising Star Awards. All it needed was for me to ok it and participate, I gave the go ahead and now once again had the opportunity to give my all to a task assigned to me. The email was so exciting and as I continued on reading it I was all in on this, ready to grab it with both hands. I could already hear my name shouted in shinning lights and cheers and applaud, such a great picture this was. My imagination still goes away with me, if I can imagine it, see myself in it and get

Goosebumps just thinking about it!!! There’s no way that I can’t achieve it, never mind winning.

I had to get my manager to motivate for me and the hard work I had been giving. But the real motivator was the fact that I was privileged to win the Nedbank Achiever Award in 2015. I had won this based on my hard work, commitment and consistent and long hours. Taking more than required and having goals every day. I was determined to make it and move up. I was encouraged to enter the Rising Star Awards. I took the opportunity to apply and kept running with it. It was an opportunity to gain exposure and build my career. The process started with essays that elaborate, vision & ability to create, team effectiveness & collaboration, trust & ethics, motivating & committed, & communication & listening. I had to use these criteria’s and comprehend myself in them as in current and in future. 

Vision & ability to create; I was in the process of building something when I had to answer this question. I was creating my business venture and introducing a new product in to the banking industry. Imagine a pool of fund that is constantly growing and a 100 percent guaranteed return. I was opening a lot of investment accounts from the commercial banks and investing a minimum opening investment amount in each and every one of the banks. In 6 months I had 20 investments accounts and each one earning a different percentage. To me it was like having my money working for me. Each month these investment accounts grow and I kept on feeding the month after month. This in the long run would mean that I won’t have to deposit money into them and just watch them grow, based on their returns. This then creates a growth fund for my future ventures, thus, I would not be knocking on doors for start-up funds. I have learned that money needs education, not formal but the education in using it and managing it well to allow you to grow it. 

Team effectiveness and collaboration; the only true mentor in life is experience. But how do we get these experiences and be engage with ourselves for prosperity. The answers may be many but for me, it has been taking risks and engaging myself in everything and anything. I jointed all the “not in your contract” duties and learned as much as I could bout them to be in a position where I could delegate. This allowed me to even understand the principle dynamics of the work place, enabling me to find loopholes and ways to bridge the gaps. I was struggling to understand the systems in environment and how everyone is connected and how things are being done besides what I do, to better enable me to grow. I found out that I wasn’t the only one struggling with this. I spoke to management and got an approval to start having knowledge sharing sessions and engaging with all stakeholders. This enabled not just me, but the whole team to understand and find career paths, as now we were exposed. I then offered to be the leader of the social responsibility team. I glad I had experience from varsity days. Formulating a team of dedicated young individuals, is allowed me to be consistent in my daily task and by adding this, it required more from me in terms of time. From this I learned how to delegate and share the tasks. Keeping track of who is doing what, constantly asking for feedback and still managing to push reporting, adverting and running with fundraising. We pushed so had that we can first in the competitions in our category.  

Trust & ethics; this had to align with me as a person. Can I be trusted? Do I have ethics or follow ethics in respected to whomever? I believe in feed what feeds you. Meaning that I am loyal to the people that feed me. This may be throw knowledge, life experiences, and love. I have learned to respect everyone I met understanding that they is a reason for them being where they are and being in my life. For that trust should be our foundation. In the life I have learned that trust can be hard to build and easily destroyed, based on whatever reason or circumstances. I had to build the trust in my work place, basing it on my work ethics, performance and respect. Because it is so much easier to work with the people you can trust, because you know that they will deliver. I believe that it is important to always be at your best, be better that yesterday and never stop dreaming. 

Motivating & committed; when I discovered the great speakers on the internet, I never stopped listening to them. I am so inspired every day not because of life but the belief they have built in me about life. I started a wall of success at work, and even in my own home. A wall that is full of quotes, full of inspirations, telling me I would not quite, I will not stop till I get to where I need to be. Asking myself, am I working on my dreams, pushing myself, learning something different? I wanted to share all this with everyone around. I would even get videos and add them as part of my presentations, understanding the power of what it can do. Communication & listening; this has been necessary for me to keep at it, learn the best in communicating with others and having the humble spirit of listening. Today I spend so much time learning how to communicate better, and speak not to be hear but understood. The more I get out there to speak with executives and business owners. I learn that I have to go back and learn some more in increasing my skills, understanding the language in the sector that I am in. 

I was nervous when I got to the head office for my interview for the rising star awards. I had to elucidate what was unique about me in the essays, and my managers had to confirm that. Through the nerves, I was at my finest and presented the best in me. We also given a test case and asked based on it how we can do it best, solve the problems and how you can change to help the businesses survive. I was confident at the time of the interview, even when the questions where tricky. I was seating there thinking to myself as I had never imagine myself here. I didn’t have a car, so my mode of transport was public transport. The tricky part about using the bus was that I had to strategically catch the right bus in the morning. The first bus was at 5.30 in the morning and buy using that bus it meant that I would be at work by 6.20 and the bus wasn’t full like the other buses. I had to be ready by be at the bus stop by 5.30am wake up at 5 and shower and go. I would do my ironing in the evening and ready in the morning. At times I would find myself late by even 2 minutes, the bus would be long gone. Meaning I had to wait for the full bus at 6. I wasn’t happy with that bus. It would be so full that on boarding on the bus would be a mission. I woke get to work all untidy, as it I didn’t iron my cloths. Every bus stop more that 6 to 10 people had to come out to make space for the people getting out. I don’t remember finding an empty seat on the bus, it was impossible from Auckland park to Sandton. 

The bus was so loud every morning, people singing gospel songs and someone preaching. I wandered where they got so much energy in the morning. It was so loud they would even bang the bus and scream. I didn’t have an option as it was affordable and it was a one trip. Sometimes the bus would be so full that it wouldn’t stop. I was hoping one day I could buy my own car, but I didn’t have a license or know how to even drive at the time. When I was growing up, I wasn’t allowed to drive at home of even given a chance to drive. I didn’t have the money or time to go and get my driver’s license at the time. Busy getting an education. The experience was unexpected, for one I was not in the age criteria that was being promoted. I had to push my boss and communicate with him at the time to write a motivational letter as it was required. A challenging part of it all come when I had to submit a video, a short video about me and why I deserve to be a rising star. I couldn’t connect to the site when I tried as the company had restrictions set to the site, I tried internet cafes and they didn’t have the necessary software to support the site. I was so frustrated and had to send an email explaining why I couldn’t do the video. On my side I felt like I wasn’t going to be consisted as it wouldn’t look good on my side. I called some the finalist and they had done it and I still couldn’t due to connection. I knew I had to give it my best at the interviews as that would be the only opportunity the judges would interact with me or see me. Nerves I was and so intimidated. See when I was in the waiting area, the candidates were business owners, masters and doctors in their fields and there I was, a tester. 

Keep at it, whatever it takes

I got so intimidated by all of them, in the criteria there were people who have been in the sector for 10 years, people with PhD, masters, doctorates, and massive business skills. I had to remind myself that I am here for a reason and do deserve it. After my interview, a week later I got confirmation I had made in the top five. I didn’t believe it or understand as this looks at the top performers in the country. I called my mother.

Mom I am so nerves and really do want this? Don’t you ever compare yourself to other people, there is a reason why we are all different in our own ways. If it wasn’t meant for you to be there, trust me you wouldn’t be there. Thank you mom I said. Those words from my mother changed everything that day, somehow it made me realise I need to be myself at all time. I grow up not fitting in anywhere and through the years, I always felt like I didn’t belong or yet looked down on myself. 

I struggled with it so many times, till I had to look at myself and really understand who am I, why am I so anti-social. I began to really understand why. I am who I am, born to be great, I have strengths that rise me when no one change, weaknesses that shine in the dark. I when in the interview room calm and ready, so convinced that I am here to the same reason that everyone else is here for. The judges really did go hard on me with the questions; how do you plan on changing the world around? What have you done to be here? Why you? Can you take a negative scenario and turn it into a positive scene? Explain your ethics, commitment, communication, leadership role and focus in your life? And more. The questions kept coming in and we had a case study we need to present on. The expectations were unknown till we go to the interview room, and we were given 10 minutes each to present.   

I don’t know if it was a test or what, one of the judges kept falling asleep and looked bored and I felt like it was probably me. I had to keep my composure throughout and give it my best. This was the best experience ever, as I was challenge beyond and had never been in such a situation. I was glad to be a part of it. I have learnt so much in my life. Growing up in a situation where I live with a step-father and experiencing all the pain and hurt. I have to say through it all he developed a man inside me. Yes I was a child, yes I wasn’t his own, but I have developed so much growth and wisdom and understanding. I didn’t understand the behaviour from my father, but from it today it has been the core of me not being soft. I have become so strong that I do not let people break me of make me weak. I have learnt to face problems and resolve them. I joined Nedbank in 2014 as a software tester and advanced to senior tester within eight months. My work involved identifying and reporting problems to make sure systems work. It was a great opportunity to work for Nedbank, as I just wanted to get in the working environment and start something from there. I was very privileged and grateful for the hard work I had learnt at the University Of Johannesburg where I acquired a diploma in business management, a BTech degree and an honours degree in Strategic Management. This really put me in a position to believe in myself and work hard in all that I was to do. Starting I went in with the attitude of doing the best that I can do, give all of my time to this and do it best. I was always willing to do things every time I was asked by the manager. Introduced new ways of sharing knowledge and empowering others. I also pushed myself to be part of the organisations social responsibility committee. I have to stress the importance of building a relationship with you son, step son or daughter. I stress this because I straggle even today to even communicate with my step-father. Through the years we have never actually talked, laughed or shared any form of bonding. Even today even though I have forgiven him and let go of the past, we have no relationship. It’s even difficult to have a stable conversation. It’s always awkward and short. When I am home is a matter of hello and how are you bases, may you move the car, did you go see your grandparents, but never on a father son level of shared advice and guidance. It’s difficult to even call him and talk, because I have never done it before. I am now in a stage in my life where I am traditionally married and because of our past it was even difficult to even engage him in the whole matter as a father. My mother was the one involved and grandparents. I have learnt so much from this experience which is helping me in some parts of my life, like building go relationships with the ones close to me. 

Understanding that my actions my influence my tomorrow. Through it all I have become a person who goes for what they want. I learnt this habit from my past as I have been pushing with me going to varsity for all those years. I wanted to better myself and have that point of learning and self-empowerment. Through that time of hustling for my education, I see so much more of those qualities in myself, as I had become a go getter. I wanted to be the best in my work and when I started working for I had that in mind. I didn’t let the negative and people get to me, I set the goal and pushed for it. I engaged myself in everything and anything in my work starting from social responsibility work, health and safety, to giving all of me to my work and volunteering when no one wanted to. Through this I moved from one level to the next from promotion. I had worked so hard to get my education and when I started work I didn’t start in the field of work I had been studying for. I had been so much studying in the field of business management and started in my first permanent job in the Information Technology field as a tester. I needed a job and had to lower my standards and understand that I need to start from somewhere and build myself up. It was a totally new environment and I struggled so much in understanding the systems. I had to give my best, dedicate extra time and effort to making it work for me to be good at them. The people went making it easy for me and felt like giving up so many time. My mother was my back bone and she gave me so much support and prayed for me. I kept pushing and ended up knowing and understanding the systems.  

I have been honour in being nominated as the Top Achiever in my field and worked harder to actually winning the Top Achiever award. It always seems impossible when you in the process to achieving your gaols. In the process I went through so many things and feelings, pain and not believing in myself. I was listening to the great world motivators keeping me focus in pushing. In the process I developed something called the Wall of success, which I wanted it in inspire my fellow colleagues. What was there were inspirational quotes aimed at helping people to keep pushing for their goals and dreaming big. I was honoured to be entered into the Standard Bank Raising Star

Awards in the Banking & Financial sector. The awards needed certain criteria’s from me like, vision & ability to create, team effectiveness & collaboration, trust & Ethics, motivation and commitment. I was so excited to be in sure a position and I truly understood the effort I had been giving through these criteria’s.  

Standard Bank’s annual award event, now in its fifth year, identifies young talent across different sectors. Entrants are aged between 28 and 40. Winners are recognised for the work they have done and have a chance to participate in a leadership and development programme throughout the year. This gives me an opportunity to network across industry sectors. The interview stages were very crucial. In the final stage interview they asked me if I would leave a company if I got a better offer. I told them that it’s not about the money, at this stage in my career it’s about learning as much as I can. It is important to get knowledge. If you have knowledge then you’ll be able to get all the money you need. You need to learn how things work so that you can do things for yourself. Eventually I will leave the bank to give someone else an opportunity to learn. There were so many entries and people in far better position than me, but I had to believe in myself and start give it my all from the start. 

It opened a lot of doors for me, it helped me understand what I can achieve. When I work on projects and developing new products, I now have the confidence to approach people in higher positions. Before the competition, I would push my ideas, but didn’t have something solid to prove that I could do something. Through the competition I’ve learnt to do my best and do all I can. From my perspective, I sold myself from a view of wanting to build something solid enough to leave for the next generations to come.

It’s difficult not understanding the differences between doing what you love and working for money. I am working for money and I got to this resolution because my passion has always been business. But due to so many failures and the need to survive and be responsible I still find myself in the work environment as an employee. I would not disregard the enormous experience gained while working and through working at a financial institution I have learnt to build wealth while I still can, by understanding investments, constant preparation and enabling myself to just do it. Looking at the judges I had to even sell myself more by presenting a mass idea of acquiring assets with what I have.  

My mind-set changed from this point of how I viewed myself, I had to kick out long time roommates, like insecurities, fear, doubt and look for new ones like focus, patience and consistency. I was invited to the rising star event for the announcement of the winners. Nervous yes, but the important thing at the event was how much it was structured in keeping individuals inspired and committed. The time had arrived and the presenter was reading reasons why they had chosen the winner. As he spoke, the nervous crowding me, I started thinking with so much great being said, it couldn’t be me. And the winner is he said Brian Mahlangu. Surprised and slowly shifting from one emotion to the next and walking to the stage I was amazed and surprised. How we view ourselves is completely what we are, until we go through an experience. I wander and look back at the things I had to go through and started questioning so much about what I had been saying to myself. I mean I had never been even invited to a school prize giving or any form or achievement. Was it my environment and weaknesses from the past clouding my judgement of myself. The most important thing we all need to understand is that your environment shapes you all the time and the people around you constantly influence who you are. So people lose themselves in the process. 

I had lost and found myself in so many different situations I have been in. I had to look at myself and really understand me. It required a lot of self-control, understanding my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. I analysed myself strengths and listed them down. I am a hard worker, I have the ability to create, focused, educated, patient, creative and loving. How do I let my strengths work for me in my marriage, work, fatherhood and life in general? I always apply creativity and lovingness in my marriage by doing the simplest things like, dancing with my wife, morning or evening, spending time with her as she is my best friend. The ability to create as this book and my achievements show. I them looked at my weaknesses, giving up easily, hard headed and communication. As people we don’t often analyse ourselves, but so easily to judge others. Its human nature, but when you start to analyse and judge ourselves, we are able to better understand ourselves and grow. This helps push me and not give up easily when times are hard. This has also helped me in my marriage as I am more and more committed, royal, opened to sharing financial responsibilities and having fun in the process. I looked at my opportunities. I spoke to one of the executives, when I was introducing a product in their space. He told me that in life you must learn to look beyond the four walls around you and always wander what’s next. Opportunities in life are created, the only need is for you to react out for them and make something out of them. I have been given so many opportunities in life and I am so proud to have embarked on them, as they have put me where I am today.  

This experience has brought me so much excitement in my life in a sense of

understanding that all things are possible. It’s just a matter of time. The most important question I had to ever ask myself was WHAT DO I WANT? I started writing done the things I wanted, dividing it into groups like family, career, health and business. I had to do this so I may start living the rest of my life achieving them. It was funny because I wanted to have a family of my own yet with the fears of my past and was single at the time. I wanted to have a wife, someone I can love and respect and give my all to, dance and laugh. But through the mist of it all I was lucky a few months later, as I reconnected with a friend. I first met her in 2007, as she was a sister of a friend back in high school. We connected so much but never dated as distance was the case. We liked chatting a lot online and always wanted to hangout.  

Throughout the years our communication went on and off and I when to varsity in Johannesburg and she went to Cape Town. Then she come to Johannesburg and that’s when we started dating. I have always had the problem of sharing a space with a partner or roommate and when she came in the picture, it was like were one. I truly love it when she is around and get so excited when I go back home from work and there she was waiting for me. She has been my back born and support, my biggest fan. I look back and reflect from my grandparents love. How for so many years they have been together, loved each other, raised us. The loved that was shared by them made it home. I looked at that and told myself that’s what I want for myself, the ability to love and respect my partner. One day she tells me that she think she’s pregnant. I must be honest it wasn’t an exciting time for me, not that it wasn’t good new, but fear. We had multiple pregnancy test and all was negative. We went to the paediatrician and as they started with the sonar scan, the doctor confirmed she was pregnant. Through all this I was proud, scared and a big wake up call. After a while we went to the doctor for check-ups. The doctor confirmed, you pregnant. Shocked and scared. I looked at wife and somehow, I was happy. Now I was blessed with a son. I now felt like I have the opportunity to make things right by my side. My father’s father, wasn’t there in his life. Even tracing back to my great grandfather not having his father present in his life. I was scared and prayed to God to help me out in this time in my life, to finally be what I had imagined and thought of how a man and father should be. How a child must have both their parent around. 

I took it upon me to make things right and have the family I had always dreamt of. I am in love and arranged for my family to help me out in my married. Gathered my uncles and did the traditional wedding with my wife. Life has taken me to new highs and level of joy and happiness. I have learned to understand that life has its ups and downs, what is important is to know yourself so that your attitude in life isn’t influenced by circumstances. I comprehend the difficulties for children all around the world being without their parents raising them. Even some babysitters have become more dangerous, as this has become a world crisis. Being a parent is one of the most difficult, fun, crazy responsibility in the world. Raising a person, and meeting their basic meets. I have been judging the fathers my whole life. Now God was giving me the opportunity to be a father myself. I wasn’t ready but when it was presented to me I know I couldn’t look back. I was excited and full of join, that finally I would have one of my own. To love, care for, and give the life experience I never had to share the father son bond. I did look at myself and wonder would I do what has been done to me, would I leave, stay, mistreat or take it upon myself to finally make a change. I only realise when it was done, growing up depressed, left with no hope or any sense of pride. I had been in a state of destruction and pushing everyone away. The fear inside of me of being a father grow every time, and I thank God for blessing me with a women who made it all easy for me to deal with it, inspired me, and for the first time I felt like someone believed in me.