Satirical Scene: Ugaas Farah and the Eternal Negotiation

Setting: The grand council hall in the Somali Region, where federal officials have gathered with regional leaders to finalize an important agreement on resource-sharing. At the head of the table sits Ugaas Farah, the wise and elusive custodian of tradition, draped in his signature shawl. The room is thick with anticipation.

Federal Official: (eagerly) "Your Majesty Ugaas Farah, this new agreement ensures economic growth, autonomy, and peace between the federal government and the Somali Region. We just need your signature to make history!"

Ugaas Farah: (with a calm, knowing smile) "Ah, my dear friend, in the Somali Region, history is not made—it is negotiated... again, and again, and again."

Federal Official: (nervously chuckling) "Yes, well, today we hope to finalize it."

Ugaas Farah: (tilting his head thoughtfully) "Hmm... Finalize? Have you consulted the wind?"

Federal Official: (confused) "The... wind?"

Ugaas Farah: (nodding sagely) "The wind. It is essential. You see, if the wind blows from the north, it means we wait. If it blows from the east, it means we gather the elders. If it doesn't blow at all—well, that is when we call for another meeting."

Elder #1: (whispering to the federal official) "The Ugaas is teaching you the art of Somali time. You think things are moving forward, but the goalpost keeps shifting, like sand in the desert."

Elder #2: (grinning) "This is why we say, ‘The camel moves slowly, but its destination is always important.’"

Federal Official: (impatiently) "But, Ugaas, this agreement guarantees a share of the Ogaden Basin oil. Time is running out!"

Ugaas Farah: (with a twinkle in his eye) "Oil is patient, my friend. It has waited millions of years beneath the earth. It can wait a little longer for me to consult... my tree."

Federal Official: (exasperated) "Another tree?"

Ugaas Farah: (seriously) "Not just any tree—the Tree That Stands Firm. It teaches us when to resist and when to sway. A leader who does not listen to his tree is like a man who argues with his shadow—he will only exhaust himself."

Federal Official: (muttering) "This is impossible. You mean we wait for the wind and the tree?"

Ugaas Farah: (smiling) "Yes. And the elders, of course. And perhaps... a camel or two."

Federal Official: (desperately) "When can we expect a decision?"

Ugaas Farah: (grinning broadly) "Soon. Perhaps before the rainy season. Or after. It depends on what the tree and the wind agree on."

Elder #2: (chuckling) "Ah, you see, my son—the agreement will arrive like rain in the desert... only when it is most needed. Until then, patience is also a form of negotiation."

Moral of the Satire:

In the world of Somali politics, everything is negotiable, including time itself. Decisions are not rushed; they bend with tradition, align with nature, and depend on the right "season." Ugaas Farah’s leadership shows that true power lies not in rushing decisions but in mastering the art of waiting, consulting, and keeping everyone on their toes—federal officials included.

Mohamud A. Ahmed - Cagaweyne