Santa Claus vs All the Girls & Boys

An interesting case has just come out of the Lapland Technology Court.

In a landmark case that will resonate throughout the world, a rather unexpected turn of events sees Santa suing the girls and boys of the world.

So let us set the scene. Silly Santa Claus managed to get himself stuck in a chimney while allegedly breaking and entering into a property in Runcorn Cheshire, owned by Bob Evans*.

The court action however was not raised by Mr Evans, this is still being investigated by the police and charges may still be brought against Mr Claus, despite his failed attempt to claim diplomatic immunity.

The court action (a reverse class action) was raised by Mr Claus in pursuit of the girls and boys of the world and was due to what Mr Claus stated was the failure by the girls and boys of the world to come to his aid and rescue him from the chimney.

I acted for the defence and it was a hard fought case.

Implied Contract

Essentially Mr Claus argued that there was an implied contract containing a clause between himself and the girls and boys of the world. He called it the Santa Clause.

Insofar as Mr Claus would provide the children with gifts if they as he said "had his back". Which he argued, on this specific occasion, they did not.

Giving evidence from the witness stand Mr Claus claimed that he became lodged in the chimney, which caused his beard and sack to be covered in soot, leading him to sneeze loudly. Realising his predicament he cried out for help, saying:

You girls and boys won't get any toys

If you don't pull me out

My beard is black

There's soot in my sack

My nose is tickling too!

The Defence

I put it to Mr Claus that there was in fact no implied contract, how could there be? This was merely a figment of his imagination, much like his claim that reindeers could fly. I argued that in any event the children were too young to contract.

I asked Mr Claus how he managed to become stuck in the chimney, after much waffle and irrelevant discussions about reindeers, it became apparent that Mr Claus got stuck because he had consumed far too many mince pies while delivering presents.

The plot thickens like a nice turkey gravy.

The Children

I called the children of the world to the stand as witnesses.

They said that they could not hear Mr Claus as they had been too busy watching YouTube and Snapchatting their pals. It was only after their dogs started whining they realised something was up.

They got together and looked at what had happened, but as they stated none of them were bricklayers who could cut a hole in the chimney and more importantly they were only 6 years old, how could they be expected to erect a scaffold, climb onto a roof and pull an 18 stone man carrying a huge sack of presents out of the chimney?

I could tell by the look on the juries face that this had landed home.

Closing Statements

In closing Mr Claus stated that he regretted eating so many mince pies however he still believed that the children could have saved him, if they had only believed in the magic of Christmas.

I closed by saying to the court that surely the magic of Christmas is about family, love, gifts and happiness. Not coercion of minors by a belligerent, tipsy, slightly overweight and overfed guy in a red suit?

Deliberations

The jury retired to consider their verdict, it took less than an hour before they came back and found in favour of the children of the world.

The judge dismissed the case and awarded all costs against Mr Claus.

Mr Claus said he would not appeal and asked the children of the world to forgive him this one mistake. The agreed, on condition he doubled all their lists and cut back on the mince pies.

Lessons and takeaways

One clear aspect of this victory for common sense is that you cannot force someone into a contract, especially when it is clearly one-sided in favour of a perceived giver.

Contracts need to be clear and unambiguous. Santa Clauses have no place in contracts where it is clear that the weaker party is being coerced.

A salutary lesson indeed!

Thank you

Well I hope that made you smile!

I want to take this opportunity to thank all of my connections, clients and colleagues as well as friends and family for their support during my transition and healing these past few years. Again I would like to thank everyone who interacts with my posts and articles and for those of you who help my business by introducing clients to me, thank you from my family to yours.

I want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Prosperous and Happy New Year.

Best wishes

Yosof ??????????

*(you may recall him as a whistleblower in a previous episode?).

#santaclausiscomingtotown #blockyourchimney #dietmincepies