Sandwiched and Scrutinized. Every Parent Is a Critic
A few weeks ago, I wrote about how teenagers can be tough on us parents (Perfectly Imperfect ). Navigating imposter syndrome is just as tough when our own parents fuel self-doubt.
As a reluctant member of the sandwich generation , balancing care for my 86-year-old mother and my 17-year-old son, I often find myself questioning my competence. But what happens when our parents inadvertently become catalysts for imposter syndrome? (On second thought, it may not be so inadvertent! But I digress.)
In today's edition I will discuss
The Evolution of Parenting
Parents today are navigating a vastly different parenting landscape than the one our parents experienced. The transformation is beyond imagination. My mom is always amazed when I tell Siri to do something and she does it!
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How we manage these shifts can often lead to criticism from our parents, fueling imposter syndrome and self-doubt. Not that I know what that feels like - just kidding.
Dealing with Parental Criticism
Our parents, viewing our methods through the lens of their own experiences, may offer unsolicited advice or criticism.
"In my day, we didn't coddle children so much."
"You're always on your phone. We gave our kids undivided attention."
"Why can't you discipline them like we did?" (Because we’d be in jail! – Did I say that out loud?)
These comments shake our confidence and intensify imposter syndrome.
So here is what I have done and continue to do.
Embracing Your Unique Journey
While our parents' experiences are valuable, they're not the definitive guide to modern parenting. By acknowledging the evolving nature of child-rearing and standing firm in our choices, we can quiet the voice of imposter syndrome. YES, ONLY QUIET IT. Our parents’ voices are still quite loud for many of us out of respect and sheer habit!
Remember, you're not just parenting - you're pioneering a new approach for a new world (dramatic, I know). Embrace your audacity to parent differently, and let it fuel your confidence rather than diminish it. Even when you think your kids aren’t listening or appreciative, they do or say something when they think you are not watching or listening. That, my audacious-minded friends, merits a pat on the back. And dare I say, our parents also show pride in our parenting when they show love for our children. Those children they love so much? We did that. They are lovable because we made them that way. HELLO! Every once in a while, my mom says, "He's such a good boy!" Yep. I did that!
Remember, your worth isn't determined by others' perceptions and that includes those wonderful people who raised us. Address imposter syndrome head-on. Set those boundaries. Trust your instincts. Reclaim your confidence and unleash your true parenting potential. YOU GOT THIS!