Sandbox Cyberbullying - How it works when they are in grades K-3 (5-9 yrs)
When students are still very young, luckily, few have cellphones. Other than gaming, they are less interactive online. Most parents don’t permit use of messaging or texting at this age. But the students are using online games, often, and are active on Nick.com, Disney and gaming sites created by Cartoon Network, PBS and other child brands. They are also using handheld gaming devices, tablets and wifi-enabled mobile devices, in many cases.
Cyberbullying during these years is largely accidental (Parry’s “inadvertent cyberbullying”). They share their passwords with their friends intentionally, so they can access their accounts, profiles and pics. Sometmessaginges they ask their friends to take care of their online pets or accounts when they are on vacation without Internet access. Sometmessaginges their friend is better skilled in a particular game and they encourage this friend to sign in and earn them extra points. Often, when friends don’t have premium accounts of their own, or don’t have expensive devices, they share access to their account and handhelds. When things go wrong, and friends stop being friends or exceed their privileges, cyberbullying erupts during this age.
Stolen or lost points, items and accounts begin in 1st - 2nd grade. Friends log in and in either good or bad faith pretend to be the account holder and communicate with their online friends, play their games, transfer points and items to their own account or lose them. They will sometmessaginges intentionally violate the account rules, so their “friend” will get into trouble. But during K-3, at least, it tends to be less prevalent than in later years. This is partly because of their age and offline bullying trends, and largely because of their lack of cellphones that lend themselves to impulsive cyberbullying behavior.
Although some use messaging and early texting as they become 3rd graders or have early access to these technologies, most cyberbullying still stems from carelessness or what Parry Aftab calls “digital hygiene” issues– passwords, SPAM and computer security issues. Often very young students first flex their cyberbullying muscles when they get their first messaging account. Without meaning to do any serious harm, and more as a joke and exercise in being unsupervised for the first time, they may use lewd or bathroom language, pretend to be someone else or even threaten a friend. They learn quickly that this is hurtful and unacceptable, but being there to help them understand what is and isn’t acceptable when they get their first messaging or early texting capability, or even with their in-game communications can make the difference between their learning to be good cybercitizens or become cyberbullies.
A 3rd grader from Nashville confided to Parry that her best friend had stolen her points and items in an online world. She had reluctantly shared passwords, at her friend’s insistence. A few weeks later, she was heartbroken to find all of her points and items missing from her gaming account. Her 11 year old brother, after having checked things out suggested that her friend might have taken them. She then used the password her friend had given her in exchange for her own to log into her friend’s gaming account. There she found all of her items and points. She resorted to “self-help” and took them back. She then changed her password and had her mother suggest to her friend’s mother than she should change her password as well.
Students with older siblings tend to cyberbully earlier. They understand the methods and may have seen cyberbullying in action. Sometimes, K-3 students have experienced mild or even frequent bullying or cyberbullying at the hands of their siblings or other young family members. Unfortunately, cyberbullying can be contagious. You experience it and “pass it on.” You either respond with more force than necessary and tip the interaction from you being a victim to acting like a cyberbully, or think it’s funny or like the sense of control/power and perpetuate the abuse.
It’s never too early to begin teaching netiquette, kindness and digital hygiene. The better they protect their passwords, devices, accounts and computers from misuse and from malicious code, the safer they will be. The less digital information they share (such as photos and secrets) the less ammunition they will give to a cyberbully. The more they respect themselves and others and curtail hurtful communications, the less likely they are to put their head into the digital lion’s mouth.
We must teach them to lock their cyberdoors, and keep valuables behind those locked doors. We have to teach them not to give others the keys or let them in and leave them unsupervised. The door example can help students at this age understand digital privacy and security better. Parry has created a worksheet for the students on this and a presentation that can be used in the classroom. The time you devote to teaching them about digital hygiene and the need to keep certain information to themselves will pay off quickly. The best time to stop cyberbullying is before it starts.
At this age, they still believe in rules and like being helpful. Codes of conduct, netiquette guides and giving them something to do to help others can be powerful tools at this age. Consider asking them to write a Digital Code of Conduct for the class. Or ask them to frame rules for safe surfing for their family. Teach them to Stop, Block and Tell! and the emotional balancing benefits of Take 5! Give them pointers and resources to take home to their parents and siblings. Get them involved in helping others. Have them help create a Technology Guide for Parents, describing handheld and game technologies, recommended websites and security/privacy pointers.
At the same time, help parents understand that a rush to technology may not be the best path. The more limited their children’s time online, the fewer problems they will face. Fifteen minutes a day multiplied by their age should be the absolute outside for being connected to computer, tablet or online games, texting, messaging or viewing pictures, videos or profiles. Pull the plug if technology is taking over all their free time. Our studies have shown that the more time they spend outside, playing sports, reading books, listening to or performing music and engaging with real life friends and family the less likely they are to get into any kind of trouble online and the more resilient they are to handle anything that may happen online.