Sameer chatting Sameer

Next morning, Hyderabad

Dear Sameer,

I am writing this email with a very heavy heart.

I had to gather a lot of courage to even think about writing this. I would just like to say sorry. You have been right in noticing that I have not been the same person for the past few days. I have been a bit cranky with you. I don’t think this was the right treatment for you, but I would like to be sorry for some other reason.

As you know, my granny is bedridden. Her health is deteriorating with every passing day and we all know that eventuality is not far. She has been communicating with us only through hand gestures for the past few weeks and she had indicated this urge of seeing me get married before she dies.

It was informed to me a couple of days back that my dad’s friend’s son would be coming to see me tomorrow. Things here are so desperate that if both of us like each other, we will get engaged tomorrow itself. I really wish he doesn’t like me because I do not have anything with which I can convince my parents that I don’t want to get married to this guy. He is a techie with an IT giant and owns three cars. I am nervous about all this and don’t know what will happen tomorrow.

That is why I am apologizing in advance.

Hope you will forgive me.

Sadia Khan

I re-read the whole attachment at least three more times to confirm what she wanted to convey and if I was deciphering it appropriately. I had not brushed my teeth and had logged on to my email account, I wanted to read the attachment on Sadia’s email as soon as possible on getting up. I tried to concentrate more on what was written. I even cleaned up my glasses and re-read it. I guess I got the message on the first attempt itself. I was hopeful that I might have misunderstood it at the first read, and was re-reading it several times. It so happens that you read something once and you read it again after a while and it means something completely different. This wasn’t happening this time. All through, I knew what I was reading.

It took me another two minutes to get the sequence of events since last evening. And I looked around in the room, there was this scary silence in bright daylight. I looked out into the lobby of my floor, all the other rooms were closed, and I returned to my room. I suddenly started sweating so I switched on the fan. I felt the room was spinning, rhythmically with the ceiling fan. I was feeling heavy and as if I was getting absorbed by the floor. I had hangovers earlier but this wasn’t for the alcohol, for sure. I got this sudden dryness in my throat which no amount of water would pacify. And it wasn’t for the four large pegs of Royal Stag that I had had last night. Last night was forgotten completely on reading this from Sadia.

It was odd. I was getting all sorts of questions in my mind and I was answering them as well, in a devilish manner for a few, in a convincing manner for the others.

What happened just now?

Sameer, wake up! Let us summarize what you just read. In simple words, Sadia-Sameer are finished. Go off to sleep again and things won’t change when you wake up. It is not a dream. This guy who is going to see Sadia is for real, too real for you Sameer.

But why has she hid all this from me all these days?

She has always been this way; she doesn’t like to burden you with her problems. This must have been told to you since it is not just about her, unless, she already has a plan in place to deal with it. But you never know with girls.

What next?

The moment this techie would have a glimpse of her, he would fall for her. She is so beautiful that no guy on earth would be saying no to her. What else do you think can happen after this Sameer? And there she goes, probably engaged today itself.

Should I call her?

Bad idea, the guy would be in front of her as of now. She wouldn’t be able to talk right now. That bastard would be looking at your sweetheart right now.

What would be going on at her place right now?

She would be made to get tea and samosas in a tray for the guy and his folks. They would be making her answer all sorts of questions. Don’t you watch movies and don’t you know how these things happen, you dumbass!

Will her parents ask for her consent before taking this prospect forward?

Maybe they would, maybe they won’t. They might do it since both of them are educated and not orthodox. They might not, since this request has been put forth by her granny, who is counting her last days. Sadia has always been her granny’s pet and that is why they might consult her.

What if her parents force her into saying yes?

They might, and in that case, they might exchange rings today itself. Then it is over. Maybe you will speak with her once probably or even that is unlikely to happen. Then soon you would be getting an invitation for her marriage, or on second thoughts, it would be a bit awkward for her to invite you. So you might not get an invitation too, to her wedding Sameer.

Can’t she reject the guy?

Sameer, he is a techie, earning way more than what you would manage in the next five years taken together in these economic turmoil times. He owns three cars. And look at yourself. You used to own a bicycle that got stolen from school and that’s all. On what grounds could she reject him?

What if he is ugly-looking?

Sameer, don’t forget you are in India, and looks don’t matter so much when it comes to guys. He could be ugly looking but his cars would be definitely beautiful, all three of them, mind you! Looks don’t matter much Sameer, don’t you know? He has money, a good-earning job, and cars, how can you forget that? No guy would look ugly in front of a 25-year-old girl’s parents if he had these things.

Do I speak with her parent? They know me and they always have kept good opinion of me.

Sameer, they know you as one of Sadia’s friend. They weren’t orthodox like other parents to not allow their daughter to even speak with other guys. But do you think you stand a chance to make a difference by continuing to be her friend in front of them? The answer is NO. Do you think this is the right time to disclose about yourself to them that you and Sadia are not just friends? Again the answer is NO.

Would Anjali make a difference? She was the one who had helped us in the initial days of graduation, so she might be helpful here too.

Sorry Sameer, Anjali who? Have you even spoken to each other in the last two years? And then the last that you know about her is that she is settled in New Zealand and has got married. You have lost touch with her Sameer.

When will I get to call her?

Leave her an email. This will make her realize that you have read her email. Do not call right now, she would be busy. Leave a text message may be.

Shall I talk to someone, how about didi?

Yes, probably you could do that. But shouldn’t you wait till you get to speak with Sadia first?

What kind of a jerk I am?

A complete Jerk Sameer, full marks here! She wouldn’t have slept all night and you dozed off. You had your 8 hours of sleep while she spent the night so terrified that she didn’t even have the thought of speaking to you. And even if she would have wanted to speak to you, would you have been there for her Sameer? You don’t deserve her Sameer a girl like Sadia, Toshi was right perhaps. Your carefree attitude has made you lose her.

How about Toshi? I can speak with him at least?

Make yourself his guest Sameer. That seems to be the only doable thing as of now.

I thought I should text Sadia before I go to Toshi’s room. I send her a short message to call me once she gets an opportunity to do so. I shut my laptop down and went towards Toshi’s room. I went out and saw the lobby of my floor was filled with guys from the entire hostel and I saw Toshi’s room already open.

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