The same procedure every year!

Here we go again.

Today is 30th December 2020 - almost the end of a crazy year that turned out very differently than so many thought it would.

So this is even more a reason for many to make resolutions for the New Year, hoping for things to be better. Us to be healthier, lighter. We want to smoke less, drink less, eat less. Especially now that we are not able to control some aspects of our life.

Does that sound familiar to you?

Now, don't get me wrong, there's nothing with planning these things and putting them down as a New Year's resolution. I am all in when it comes to setting goals and improving ourselves.

The thing is though: that shit does not work.

Be honest, how many times have you made resolutions and given up on them a few days or weeks later?

I have, too. I always thought I had to be healthier, lose weight and move more. I've made the best plans. With the best intentions.

Oh dear. If I hear people doing this, I know they are on a path of failure already.

There's nothing magical between the night of 31 December and 01 January. It's a night like any other night during any year.

Not drinking, smoking, eating less etc. is something that can be done at any point of the year. We are not doing it though - not because we don't want it - but because it is not easy.

The difficult part is actually not doing it, the difficult part is dealing with the emotions around it. It is dead easy to put on sports clothes, go out and walk or run. Even during Covid times. It takes literally nothing else.

It's that lovely inner voice, that tells us: "oh, come on, not today. It's really cold and rainy. We can do it tomorrow". The same voice that says later: "You really had a hard day. Let's have a glass of wine or two". And everything seems so legit. I mean come on, you can check the weather forecast, it DID genuinely rain, right?

Waiting for the right day (1 Jan) or the right circumstances or us feeling "ready" won't work. This is not how the world works or how life works. Perfection does not exist and even if we think it does, it can and will change.

So rather than waiting for the right time and the right mood etc., why not do it anyways. Why not tell our voice "yeah, I hear you. It rains and we will go for a walk now". Or "yeah, i know you really want that glass of wine, but we don't really need that now".

Our brains are programmed to do three things: Seek pleasure, avoid pain and find an easy way out. This is what they have always done and will always do. And it's a good mechanism which serves us to be protected and secure. The only difference is, when our brains were created and evolving, we slept on stone-cold floors and were watching our for bears. Now, most of us do sleep in beds and bears are far away. So, we need to use our brain differently.

If you genuinely want to make changes in your life, I recommend the following:

• Determine ONE area where you want to make a change in. Only one. It is tempting to make many changes at the same time, but this will overwhelm you. Pick one area, and if you have reached your goal, pick another one and so on.
• Ask yourself, WHY you want to make that change and what would happen if you don't. Often times, we want a change, but not because we really want it, more because we should. We should smoke less, it's bad for our health. We need to lose weight, because the doctor said so. Who actually cares what the doctor says every few months?? Unless WE want to see a difference in our weight, nothing will ever change. Trust me, I speak out of experience here!!
• Put your goal down on paper or on some electronic medium, so you can see it every day. Something visual will always remind us and make us act differently in the moment. Put a timeline against it and also state how you will know that you have achieved it. For example: In 2021, I would like to go for a walk at least 4 times a week for 60 mins. I will know by 31 December 2021 that I have achieved it by looking at my log, which shows that I have walked at least 4 times a week for 60 mins.
• Remember that reaching a goal is not linear. You will do well, make progress and go backwards. You may injure yourself. You may just not get out of bed one day on time. Whatever it is. Anticipate all sorts of obstacles you can think of NOW and put together a strategy on how to deal with this. For example: I may find it difficult getting up at times and end up not walking as I planned. If that happens, I will walk later or on another day when I have not planned a walk. Boom! Done!
• Plan to feel bad along the way. To feel resistance to walk. Resistance to track. Resistance to reach your goal. Wanting to give up. Plan on giving yourself a hug and not making this mean that you are not capable, you knew it all along the way that you could not do it or use it as a catalyst for slowly giving up. Come on, guys. Feeling bad and failing is part of the process. It is what I call failing forward. Failing would mean you are giving up. Failing forward means you fail to achieve something along the way and move on regardless.
• Celebrate small wins. Celebrate every Sunday after you have walked 4 times. Not with 5 glasses of wine or a tub of ice cream though! Read a book, have a bath, whatever it is that you enjoy. Do something for yourself. And remind yourself that you are probably a lot further along that 80% of people who set New Year's resolutions.

Happy New Year, everyone! Go, set your goals and get your results.

You will love it in the end, not along the way!!