5 things I didn't know before volunteering.

Yesterday (25/05/22), I completed my sixth and final training session with Samaritans (abbr. 'Sams') [Yes, I did just abbreviate, abbreviate]. When signing up I had no idea that this training would consist of 18 hours of in-person sessions plus another 10 hours of online learning... and this is before you even get to touch a telephone! I must admit that my first thoughts were, "Wow what have I got myself into," but the joys of hindsight have revealed that the hours of training were a blessing in disguise. The more we discussed and practised how to actively listen through calls that may revolve around extremely difficult topics, the more it dawned on me that this is a skill that would require ongoing cultivation far beyond the initial training. I don't imagine this skill is something that a person can ever perfect but the training has definitely made me feel prepared for taking my first calls (albeit with a mentor for the first few shifts).

My primary reason for volunteering with Sams was because I lost a dear friend, Jake, to suicide several years ago. I made a promise to myself at that time that I would do something to help others who may be struggling for support. It might have taken me (...more than) a couple of years to get round to it but I got there in the end. I chose Samaritans specifically because of a recommendation from an old colleague, Gaby, who also volunteered and still continues to do so. Sams' vision and mission spoke to me and were completely relevant to what I wanted to achieve:

Sams' Vision: Our vision is that fewer people die by suicide.

Sams' Mission: We make sure there’s someone there for anyone who needs someone.

There are a wealth of things that I could discuss about Sams - and I may write more about these areas in future - but what I wanted to address here were some of the key things I learnt after I joined. Maybe this will address one or two misconceptions you may have about Sams yourself or perhaps it may even prompt you to feel comfortable enough to pick up the phone and call Sams when you really need someone to listen to you. So, without futher ado...

1. Anyone can call Samaritans - you don't have to be suffering with mental illness or be suicidal.

Samaritans' vision may be to reduce suicide but for now, let's focus on Sams' mission which is to ensure that there is always someone available should you ever need to talk. To put this in context: a trainer mentioned that around 1 in 10 calls involve discussion around Suicidal thoughts/feelings (this is not an official statistic so please don't quote it - the real figure may be slightly different). This means that the other 90% are calling about a myriad of other reasons, and what a myriad it is! They may be stressed, lonely, struggling with addiction, lost a job, depressed, going through a tough breakup, experiencing bereavement, struggling financially, stressed about exams or anything else!

Sometimes people really do just call for a chat when they are lonely and we do have many callers who use the service daily/weekly. The main takeaway here is that your problems are always enough, you never need to be at breaking point to call Sams. Many people express guilt and/or apologise for using the line but this should never be the case! Sams have over 20,000 volunteers and are always here to listen to you should you need it. You are only ever 6 phone digits away from support.

2. Samaritans volunteers are trained to listen without judgement.

There is more to this learning than first meets the eye. Sams provides confidential emotional support to our callers, giving them the time and space to express their feelings in a non-judgemental, confidential setting.

Think about the last time your friend/partner/family member confided in you and you really really actively listened... and that means no jumping in and giving advice. This shocked me the most. I reflected on all the times my partner had expressed an issue and I immediately responded with my 'answer' like it was a maths problem. I don't think this was ever what she was looking for in hindsight. We are problem solvers in nature and there is a 'fixer' in all of us but sometimes we need to squash the fixer down for 5 minutes to deeply hear a person. Sams will always give you the space to explore your own feelings and will never pretend to understand the complexity of your situation or jump in and give unsolicited advice, in fact they won't provide advice at all, but they may help you work through what you think your best next steps are if that's what you want. Or perhaps you just want someone to listen to you rant, rave and get your emotions out.

That's fine too, the Sams are here for it.

3. Calling Samaritans is anonymous and (almost entirely - see 'safeguarding' below) confidential. We cannot see your name, number or address when you call us.

One of the primary reasons that I think stops people calling the Samaritans is that they are concerned their details may be shared or that someone may be informed about what they say. Samaritans is rare in that the volunteers receive absolutely no information about the caller. We can't see your name or address or even your phone number. This means that you can always talk to Sams in complete confidence without fear of repercussions.

This might sound bizarre to you - what if there is a caller who is actively suicidal!? I asked this myself. It's important to understand that many people who are at the breaking point would never contact Samaritans if they knew the instant they mentioned suicide; emergency services would appear at their door. Samaritans as an organisation believes in self-determination and this means you have the right to make your own desicions - and that extends to callers who say they want to end their lives. This sounds like it contrasts directly with Sams vision but, hear me out, Sams believe the best way to prevent suicide is to be there entirely for a person in their darkest moment. Sometimes the thing a person needs most is the opportunity authentically discuss their feelings without fear of consequence.

Now, if a person says they are actively considering suicide, we do explain that if they provide us with their name and location and most importantly, their permission, then we can call emergency services for them. However, without the person revealing their personal details, we can never do this for you as we simply cannot see where and who you are. This desicion is always entirely in your hands.

A note about safeguarding: Occasionally a caller may choose to give us their personal details but will not give us permission to contact anyone. We will respect this wish unless you share information with us which identifies you as a child or adult at risk who is suffering abuse or harm. [An adult at risk is an adult who is incapable of making coherent desicions or incapabe of removing themselves from harm due to their needs for care and support]. In these circumstances, after discussion with you, we may contact other relevant services. However, even in these circumstances, if you never provide us with a name or address then we will never be able to follow up.

4. Samaritans is not a religious organisation.

You may laugh at this one but I used to believe that Samaritans was a Christian organisation and that calling may end up in someone trying to convince me to attend Sunday service. I know, I know, naive of me.

Turns out, my ignorance was not entirely unfounded as the Samaritans' founder was a vicar (and cartoonist apparently) and the name was inspired by the parable of 'The Good Samaritan'. However, the organisation is categorically not a religious one and no Samaritan will ever disclose their own beliefs. On the off-chance you shared in my ignorance, rest assured that anyone can call Sams regardless of their faith, political ideology, gender, sexuality, race and so one. Inclusivity is the word of the day here.

5. The Sams volunteers are some of the most fantastic, supportive, and inspiring people I have met. They are also as ordinary as the rest of us.

I have been inspired by the people I have met throughout my training and this encompasses the trainees, trainers and mentors. It is lovely to have gone through training surrounded by so many people who are committed to selflessly doing something to benefit others.

Aside from this desire to help though, I can't see any other discernible factor that 'defines' a Samaritan. The Sams I have met are ordinary people from ordinary walks of life and it is this observation that I think has had the greatest impact on me. Anyone can do something positive for another, no matter who you are. There really are no requirements.

Should you call the Sams phone line, I can assure you that you will reach a person who is committed to truly listening to you and if you are reading this now and you are finding something difficult - no matter what it is - then please don't hesitate to call. The Samaritans are here for you.

No matter what you're facing, call us for free, day or night.

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or reach us by email,

[email protected]

Thanks for reading.