Sales is a game of...self-compassion??

For the last couple of months, I have been having a grand time installing a turbo-charged recruiting and onboarding protocol for an experienced revenue executive and his company. Unfortunately, things recently went sideways over a disagreement.??(oooh, conflict…ow!)

You?are invited to play judge on this one because it’s not every day when a B2B sales candidate tells you that her?key?to selling success is?self-compassion.?Yeah…you read it right.?Apparently, a sales manager reporting to my client had been told this from a candidate in an interview.?

I fell in figurative love with the candidate and, upon hearing this anecdote, blurted out to my client: “well I hope your manager is hustling to get her an offer??”?My client gazed at me…not?lovingly.

“What the hell is ‘self-compassion’ gonna do for us and our big quotas??How the hell is 'self-compassion' gonna cut through the complexities of our Saas sales process and our 12-month cycle?”?

Okay.?Umm, I get that…I think.?My client wanted his manager to hear things like “my strong confidence is my north star” or “I’m unrelenting in my efforts to choke the NO out of the buyer…”. (Ok, dramatic license there on that one.)? No, there weren’t any Academy Awards-like slapping between us…over zoom…and no terse words were exchanged either.? But there was an?agreement to disagree, which is fine.

Traditionally, answers to interview questions about views on selling success do NOT include the words “self-compassion”…or anything close!? BUT, since?selling birth, B2B revenue producers are ingrained to be?really?confident and go about their actions with assertiveness and drive that can border on aggression, and even mania.?

That’s not what buyers want.? And I don’t believe that’s a persona B2B sellers want to strive towards either.? But, we know circumstances often push sellers down that road.? (Screw expectations, pressure, and social norms!)

Let’s just breathe a second. Things are?hard?these days.? Things are fast.? Things are stressful.?

Quotas AND tensions are high, and failure can become habitual amongst the sales ranks if talented sales managers don’t understand how to nurture and coach their sales team with precision.?I’m not advocating for daily distribution of participation trophies (gosh no), I’m merely suggesting we match the challenging times with evolved thinking and behaviors.

I’d bet that the company you work for doesn’t think about self-compassion as a cornerstone of performance.? Perhaps you can be the catalyst for evolution.? Both of these beliefs?can?co-exist; sales managers?can?coach and guide sellers down parallel tracks of?confidence?and?self-compassion. ?Unlike self-confidence, self-compassion does not lead to delusion.?(Read that line again.)

If I managed a team right now, I’d want my B2B sellers to deal with the stresses of their jobs with forgiveness (for themselves?and?those around them) …humanity …grace…and yes, self-compassion.? They're already packed with motivation and baseline skills. Their current needs are to get refined core skills training?and?emotional tools.

So back to my guy.? After a few go-rounds, the senior executive looked at me and asked, gruffly, "...so what are you recommending?"

I replied, “start by asking your sellers to record a daily journal celebrating their wins of the day.? And while they’re at it, have ‘em record a few lines of what they’re grateful for at work.? And if you’re gonna go?there, may as well have ‘em talk about one of their stumbles at the next sales meeting and publicly acknowledge?it’s not the end of the world.”

When he finished laughing hysterically…I thought he was gonna choke…he asked if I’d meet him for lunch at his favorite steak house…it’s the one with the corner table where he sits all the time with his two-olive martini and ribeye.???

I didn’t have the you-know-whats to tell him I don’t eat meat.