Salary Negotiations: There's Power In Being Willing to Walk Away

To be truly powerful in any negotiation, you must be willing to walk away. 

Sometimes, you can't walk away I know--many times you NEED that job really badly and walking away isn't an option. Eating is sometimes more important than having the ideal job. That said, many people sabotage themselves by accepting job offers they should refuse. When they do, they often ignore feelings that something just isn't right.

Job interviewing is like dating In any failed relationship or job situation, hints of upcoming conflicts often appear at the very beginning. Things that don't begin right rarely improve. Job interviews and salary negotiations have a lot in common with dating. When your first date begins with your date arriving two hours late, reeking of alcohol, it's a good idea to make that your last date. Awful first dates usually don't lead to happy marriages.

I apply for a job Early in my career, I applied for a job, then called the boss, a man named Herman, to follow up. In an icy tone, Herman said, "If I want to talk to you, I will call you." 

After I hung up the phone, I thought, "That man sounds like a corpse." I'd had a gut-level reaction. I didn’t like him at all.

Herman was downright rude Lucky me--I did get the interview, I guess I impressed him because Herman called a couple of days later with a job offer. "The pay is $X,000," he said, "and if that isn't enough for you, we can just stop talking." The pay was stingy, and the way he made the offer felt rude. But I was new in town and needed a job badly, so I swallowed my pride and accepted. Sometimes, employers can smell desperation.

As it turns out, my gut-level reaction was spot-on. I didn’t like Herman personally, and hated the way he managed the department. I left after two months.

Belief in scarcity Belief in scarcity is often the reason people take undesirable jobs. Even savvy job hunters sometimes get tunnel vision, failing to see opportunities beyond the immediate offer. Besides accepting inferior positions, they undermine salary negotiations. The person with no other options is less attractive, and often gets poorer treatment.

Magic Words? We sometimes get calls from people who are looking for magic words and phrases to fix salary negotiations that aren't going anywhere. Susan, a woman from Wilmette, was one of those.

Susan gets a lowball offer Susan had just gotten a job offer. She'd done her homework and knew the industry range for her position and a contact had tipped her off with information about the company’s pay range. Susan was no slouch. She had a great record of success, and she expected an offer at the top of the range—maybe even higher. Instead, the offer letter from HR was rock bottom. It was downright insulting.

Susan wisely requested a face-to-face interview with Dave, the hiring decision maker, rather than talking to Human Resources. Dave said he was too busy to meet, but could spend "a minute or two" on the phone. 

Dave wouldn't even discuss the salary, so Susan tried to negotiate other things: extra vacation, tuition reimbursement, travel allowance, and so on. Dave gave a big "NO" to all of them. To top it off, he told Susan that he needed a decision by the end of the day.

 Sometimes, Negotiations Can't be Fixed Susan called us, looking for coaching and “magic phrases” to turn around the negotiations. Unfortunately, sometimes there aren't any. She had negotiated well, but was unwilling to walk away from the offer. Dave wouldn't negotiate and wasn't interested in being fair. Maybe he detected that Susan wouldn't turn down the job. We gave what we think is our best advice: reject the offer.

Susan didn't want to hear this and accepted Dave's insulting offer. We wish her the best, but think she made a big mistake. Here’s why.

Job Interviewing is Much Like Dating Employers should be on their best behavior during interviews and salary negotiations. But Dave had given a lowball offer, was unwilling to take time to meet, was totally inflexible, and demanded a quick response. He displayed no respect. By accepting his offer, Susan let Dave know that disrespectful treatment is acceptable. We think she can expect more of the same.

Pay close attention to the signals from prospective employers and your gut reactions during interviews and negotiations. They are reliable predictors of the employment relationship. If you don't desperately need the job, be willing to walk away.

Steve Frederick is a long-time Executive Career Coach with the Lucrative Careers, Inc., located in a Chicago suburb on the north shore. He can be reached at 847-409-4660 or [email protected]