Sailing the 7C's of Courage.

Introduction.

People generally have a wonderful capacity to justify remaining as they are. Blame is often the mechanism, whether it is other people, inherited genetic factors, personality, or a lack of will power, provided the person can find some other factor than themselves they will successfully create a story to justify remaining just as they are, even when the current outcomes are less than satisfactory. This post is about a coaching model I created which suggests identity and who we are is not a static thing which we must proudly stick to in the face of all opposing forces, but rather a dynamic process providing us with the opportunity to be who we need in order to obtain that which we value.

Self Development.

I have lived the majority of my life as a Postman. I loved the life and made many friends, however when I was lucky enough to be offered early voluntary retirement I saw it as an opportunity to set sail on the 7 seas. I could have stayed in the safe sailing channels close to harbour, I could even have stayed in dry dock, but believing life is what we make it rather than what we are given I embarked on several journeys. I wrote a book published by Sage, I received a PhD, I became both a County Champion and a Regional Champion in athletics, and also recently became an "elite athlete" with others who have represented their country in a TV advert. Other things which I have never experienced before is becoming a Grand Father, becoming the proud owner of two lovely Rottweiler puppies, (see my post "an ad hoc modelling project"). The point is I have kept on the move and I have opened new doors which have expanded the channels I can now sail in and this has developed me as a person. I remember watching a film called Tin Cup and always remember Kevin Costner say: "The defining moment in a person's life is when we define the moment or the moment defines us". This "defining", in NLP we call it framing, is not a once in a life time event, it occurs every moment of our existence. Too often in life I believe what lies behind the blame and excuses we use to keep us in dry dock is a fundamental lack of belief in our own capacity to set sail on the vast ocean of opportunity in a creative way and define who we will be according to what we value the most. Seven C's as a coaching model is described by Dr Bob Bates as fitting in "nicely with the metaphor of people undertaking a journey" (p128, London, Pearsons, 2015). It ensures we are always at the helm in life and defining both the course we take and the life we lead. Where ever we are on the Sea of life, one thing is for sure we took the boat there knowingly or unknowingly and just as water will always find it's natural level, so our boat will sail wherever we take it. Personal responsibility for where we are in the C of life is a key theme in this coaching model.

Seven C's was developed by modeling my own coaching practice over a period of 10 years. I asked myself what have clients brought to me over this time in terms of content and I came up with 8 variables:

• Relationship with self
• Relationship with those close to them
• Interpersonal Skills
• Relationship with work colleagues
• Career
• Money
• Health
• Relaxation / Stress

Invariably now when I listen to my coachee explain why they are talking to me the problem area will fall into one of these categories. This frame acts as an explicit anchor so throughout the session if my client says something like: "I could not say that to my boss" I can change the frame and ask, "when you say that to your partner how do you feel? what do you believe? This helps the coachee recognise their limitation is not in their capability, but rather the frame they put around their capability in a particular context. When they realise this it is time to move to the second part of the coaching model.

The Seven C's

The seven C's are the process variables which must be applied to the coachees identified problem, turning the problem into a well formed outcome, to use Neuro-Linguistic Programming language, (see my blog Goal Setting using NLP). These process variables are:

• Clarity
• Capability
• Climate
• Creativity
• Confidence / Congruence
• Commitment
• Communication

The most recent addition to the model came during a conversation with my sister, who suggested that I could add Creativity. I thought this was a great idea, because the key behind a successful life is using ones conscious mind to build a relationship with the unconscious mind and direct the life....the ship....in the direction one wishes and this takes a great deal of creativity. The unconscious mind in NLP is a bit like a very fast processing machine, it will do what you tell it very quickly and very efficiently, but will not automatically generate new ideas and new solutions unless it has a good relationship with the conscious mind which takes note of those little signals, feelings, sounds and pictures which act as sign posts along the journey saying all is good or you need to do something different here. The conscious mind is the captain of the ship, the unconscious mind is everything else. Unless the two are consistently and effectively communicating you cannot get into flow

To make room for Creativity Congruence was subsumed into Confidence using the logic you can be congruent and not confident, but you can never be truly confident and not congruent and so we managed to remain with Seven C's. 

Flow

This coaching model has the intention of helping clients find their own unique experience of flow and using the Seven C's to set their compass to highly meaningful destinations in each of the 8 life dimensions mentioned above. They thus enjoy the process of creatively defining their life using behaviour and language to express who they are and what they value. This is an ongoing process and never stops. None of us is an Island and we are all connected. The key question is are you in charge of your boat and are you on the high seas in a state of flow, or just navigating the same old waters or in dry dock, using the strategy of blame to excuse your lack of ambition and state of frequent frustration?

To help you on your journey take this 3 minute questionnaire, it will show you in which of the 8 life areas you are tripping up and causing yourself unnecessary stress. It is free of charge and you will obtain a personalised profile in Pdf form as soon as you have completed it. I will also be happy to field any queries you may have concerning your results. Just ping an email to [email protected] 

Reference:

Bates,R. (2015) The Little Book of Big Coaching Models. London, Pearson

Bruce Grimley

Is a Chartered Psychologist, registered psychometrician and Master Trainer of NLP. Click here for an introductory brochure. If you are interested in  discovering more about NLP as an approach to professional development please contact [email protected]   or go to    www.achieving-lives.co.uk