The Saga Of 'Skelfingr'
"It's Monday, Carl, dress down Friday was three days ago..."

The Saga Of 'Skelfingr'

Who you work with, and what you do, matters more than how hard you work, for successful teams. You will do whatever is required when you’re happy with the task, your company and collaborators.

“Why” you are working is the most important of all. When it’s right you excel without exhaustion.

Carl arriving for work, when he bothered to turn up

Let me tell you about Carl, he was the best programmer I ever had. He never tired of telling everyone this fact, either, when he actually came into the office.

But the team used to call him, ‘Skelfingr’

It’s old Norse for something very pungent in nature. Carl was a Viking re-enactment fan and very pungent in nature.

We always knew when Carl was in the office

He often arrived on Monday in the bear skin coat he had worn (and slept in) all weekend. I actually had to ban him turning up with his 4 foot war axe, it made us all uncomfortable.

Anyway…

We dropped hints,

Then we opened windows,

Then we sprayed air freshener,

Finally we told him he had to wash more often…

He smirked and changed his email signature to Skelfingr.

At the time, it wasn’t funny, I worried he might be ill or spread the plague. I spent hours engaging with him (whilst gasping for air). No, it turned out he was just a selfish attention seeker. Sometimes the obvious answer is the answer.

Carl was quite defensive about his lifestyle choices

All this posturing gave him a power over the team, made him the centre of attention. They started updating their cvs, a few interviews were attended, they were sick of it and him. And so was I.

But I could not find a solid justification to get rid of him. His work was still exceptional, it was his attitude (and his clothes) that stank. To be honest, I was just letting the team pay the price for me hitting all my targets.

Carl suddenly making an effort was in no way suspicious...

Then, one day, he arrived at work in a new suit, smelling like a rose from deepest Valhalla. This carried on for a couple of weeks, and his time keeping improved too.

He stopped mocking people every time they asked him for help. I was thinking: he has found love, as you do. But no, he hadn’t found his perfect Orc princess.

I wrongly assumed Carl had seen there was more to life than annoying his workmates

He told the team he needed another 6 month’s experience in order to get a job he wanted at a big gaming company. Now he was motivated and going to play nicely; Whoopee ! At last.

I fired him on the spot.

Why would I do that, when he was finally being reasonable?

When his attitude finally matched his excellent work?

Well, he was a commercial and security risk now. I finally had the reason I needed to get his poisonous influence out of the team. (And I should have done it way earlier).

Carl took the news of his dismissal in his usual lighthearted way

The team looked at me in shock. I thought they were going to protest, but I was wrong…

They took his keyboard outside, set fire to it, and floated it across a puddle in the car park. It’s what he would have wanted, being a Viking fanboy.

Farewell then, Carl 'Skelfingr' we will meet again in Asgard, or maybe Solihull Sainsbury's

Your team dynamics are way more important than any one person, even a superstar. Forget that and you lose the team, I nearly did. Over the next couple of weeks they all told me how close they were to leaving.

Gleeilegt helg (Happy Weekend in old Norse) to you all!


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