In the saddle...your body speaks!

One of my favorite quotes is:

”We question everything. Except for the things we really believe. Those things we never question.”

Most riders believe certain things about their horses.

When you have a great relationship with your horse on the ground

…but are struggling to connect when you are in the saddle

…the problem is probably you – not your horse.

Sounds harsh, right?

You might think it’s harsh because you already acknowledge that the main problem is you.

The quality of your riding relationship…

…depends on the quality of your communication skills in the saddle

…and those depend on how well and clearly your body

communicates.

Even if you ‘know how’ and are trying your hardest to do it just that way…

…your stiffness and cattywampus-ness add so much noise and conflicting input

…that you are not clearly communicating.

It’s not just that you are not clearly communicating.

Most often what actually happens is that you end up saying two different things.

Like: your back is a little stiff, which means you back blocks forward movement and doesn’t allow your horse to lift his back … in essence: your body is saying WOOO

…but with your legs you say GOOO.

Conflict. Which one of your aids is your horse supposed to listen and respond to?

Like: you are cattywampus, so you have more weight in your right seat bone than you left (but because you are so used to it you barely feel it – you just notice after the ride that there are always bigger seat marks on the right side)…in essence you are giving a weight aid to go to the right…

…your horse drifts to the right (because without feeling it you are giving a weight aid to go to the right)…but you use your leg to tell him not to go to the right

Conflict. Which one of your aids is your horse supposed to listen and respond to?

Now – I’ve mentioned a few times: most likely you are not aware of your stiffness or cattywapus-ness.

We are human beings – we have an energy preserving brain.

It would cost your brain way too much energy to notice all these little things all the time.

But you’ve gotten hints: your riding instructor has been telling you for years to lower your right shoulder, or to bring your left hip forward…or you’ve been feeling your left foot come out of the stirrup for years.

So for years you’ve been trying to make your horse listen better…

…when really the onus of clear communication falls on you.

It is not enough to know what notes to play on a piano…

…the piano has to be in tune.

You cannot give clear aids if stiffness and cattywampus-ness are introducing noise or contradictory aids.

Chicken soup for the soul author Jack Canfield says: “If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.”

Sometimes we do things that are not in our horse’s best interests without knowing we are doing it.

Not because we don’t have our horse’s best interest at heart, but because we are unaware of what we are doing that is disrupting the relationship.

The other day I listened to this great speech by author and inspirational speaker Simon Sinek.

In it he talks about full accountability - what Jack Canfield calls taking 100% responsibility.

In the speech Simon says: “Take accountability for your actions – you can take credit for all the things that you do right – as long as you also take responsibility for the things you do wrong – it must be a balanced equation”

He then tells a story about the black death of Childbed, which in the 18th century spread across Europe and then spread to America.

Women were giving birth and would die within 48 hours after giving birth. The black death of Childbirth was rampant in Europe and got worse and worse over the course of over a century.

In some hospitals, it was as high as 70% of women who would die as a result of giving birth.

But this was the renaissance = time of science!!!

Obviously, they wanted to know WHY – so the doctors studied the corpses of the women who had died – they would study the corpses and conduct autopsies in the morning and then go deliver babies and finish their rounds in the afternoon.

It wasn’t until the mid-18 hundreds that doctor Oliver Wendell Holmes realized that all these doctors who were conducting autopsies in the morning were not washing their hands before they delivered babies.

And he pointed it out. He said to the doctors: “guys – you are the problem”

And they ignored him and called him crazy for 30 years

Until somebody finally realized that if they simply washed their hands … the black death of childbirth would go away.

And that is exactly what happened – once they started to sterilize their instruments and wash their hands the black death of childbirth disappeared.

The lesson here is: sometimes you’re the problem!

A powerful reminder in the saddle.

Because very often, we blame our horses for our lack of clear communication first.

When we don’t get the result or reaction we were aiming for, we most often default to interpreting this as our horse not ‘understanding’ or ‘hearing’ our aids, we interpret it as resistance on the part of our horse…and sometimes we even anthropomorphize and say things like: “he is testing me” or “he is being naughty.”

The answer tends to be: stronger aids or more pressure for our horse do what we aim to get them to do.

Despite all the quotes we’ve read about “there are no problem horses, only problem riders” our tendency is still to look for: how do I make my horse ‘hear’ me better or: how do I get my horse to respond more quickly.

And more importantly: we hardly ever consider that every stiffness or even slight cattywampus-ness introduces ‘noise’ and possibly even contradictory aids into the conversation.