S2:E2 – The Heated Argument (Agile Wedding)

In continuation to the story so far, (https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/s2e1-curtain-raiser-ranjeet-ghadge/)…

The very next day we were sitting in the living room. Everyone had his/her opinion to deal with the situation in hand, but nobody was able to draw a reasonable solution.??

My Jija Ji?(brother-in-law)?strongly recommended going with a court marriage.?

To counter in a distressed tone, Fufaji?(paternal uncle)?suggested to rather calling off this marriage proposal as he’s completely against the court marriage and believes in rituals to be followed.??

Now, that sparked the war of words.?

My cousin sister Pratiksha (bride-to-be) came up with a few ideas but then Bua Ji?(paternal aunt)?and Masi Ji?(maternal aunt)?had some differences of opinion to agree with her new-gen thoughts.?

You see, when the discussion involves different generations, it is expected to have a difference of opinion?and that is what we faced too.?A generation gap is indeed a burning issue in almost every household today, still the sense of respect bridges this gap beautifully, isn’t it??We take everyone’s opinion into consideration, retrospect, and give it a unified view to reaching a win-win situation.

That said, the discussion started going intense and intense…?The situation became chaotic, and all got distracted from the actual problem statement.?Pratiksha started feeling agitated and left the discussion in between.?

I was too deeply involved in the discussion but when Pratiksha left in between, I got completely lost. In fact, it was like I got frozen for a few minutes! I was able to see the ongoing discussion, I was still sitting in the living room with them but couldn’t comprehend anything. Eventually, I realized whatever is happening in front of me is the same as what occurs on my professional front, too.?

The problems were the same, the difference here was about the people, place, and the situation. Though I was completely off the work on those Diwali holidays, still the agile coach in me was trying to find a way amid this chaotic situation to help route the discussion to a feasible solution.?

And with this new perspective, the discussion that seemed to have complex challenges a few minutes before had now demanded answers of predominantly 4 questions is what I realized.?

The questions in fact would not only cover the whole problem statement but would also clearly define the future course of action.

1.?What?are the different tasks in the wedding that our family must complete in the upcoming days??

2. When?do all the tasks need to get completed? Also, since all the tasks would run on a high-priority note, how to prioritize one over the other?

3. Who?would be accountable for which task? How are we going to divide and set roles and responsibilities amongst all the family members?

4. How?we are going to execute all the wedding tasks in an organized way. As in who’s going to plan the tasks, who’s going to monitor them if they are not moving as planned, who’s going to review them to understand if it’s meeting the real intent, etc.?

You won’t believe, I was engrossed in my different world, into self-questionnaires, until my mother pat on my shoulder.?

When I recollected myself, my thought process, I realized that the ongoing discussion had already turned up into heated arguments. Nobody was listening to anyone, and the war of words had gone to another level. There were only a few who was trying to come up with different ideas, the rest of everyone out there was contradicting each other’s opinion.?

Before I could initiate with any step further, my Dadi (grandmother) came to the living room. Her presence was enough to get everyone on a silent mode. She stared at all and asked everyone to join her for lunch. Seriously, nobody uttered a single word.

Folks, no matter how much expertise and experience we gain in our life, we can’t match the level of wisdom our grandparents have. Dadi knew how to handle the situation! The reason Dadi called all of us to have lunch is that she knows aggression fuels more with an empty stomach and the discussion goes directionless, meaningless.?

The same reason, during my RTE/ART days, during PI Planning, we used to announce Chai-Samosa (favorite Indian snacks) break right before the ‘confidence vote’ ( (1) Namrata Chauhan | LinkedIn - my partner in crime)) ??.?

Well, we all gathered over lunch and started enjoying food calmly. The atmosphere got stabled! I took it as an opportunity and proposed a solution of executing the wedding in an agile way.?

Everyone got surprised because the term “agile” was new for all. The reaction was obvious!?

The faces were in utter doubt that how agile can help over here. Thus, I decided to brief about it. My father and mother come to the rescue. Both assured everyone to have faith and let agile solve the problems.?

You must be thinking how my parents know agile ways of working. Thanks to the pandemic! The lockdown did this beautiful miracle that I have documented in my first series:?https://www.dhirubhai.net/pulse/how-i-made-my-parents-perceive-agile-s1e1-setting-ranjeet-ghadge/?

Right after, everyone started clapping and appreciating the way agile works. You see, Agile is so human.?

The coach in me was very excited and I felt so proud that my professional knowledge has the potential to rescue personal problems in life. As a brother and an agile coach, I got double responsibility.??

Thereafter, post-lunch I managed to suggest the best possible recommendations of the 4 questions (What, When, Who, and How) that I mentioned above, and all the family members became super pumped up for the agile wedding.?

Meanwhile, the doorbell rang, and I went to open the main door. I got surprised! It was merely a coincidence, but it instantly gave me the idea of the biggest challenge – roles & responsibilities that I was struggling to define clearly.

To know what happened exactly, how things came in synchronization, who became the Product Owner, Scrum Master, how we built the marriage backlog, and how we defined Agile ceremonies for the wedding ceremony, etc., etc. stay tuned for the third article.

In the meantime, game up your guesses in the comment section.