Rx for HR? Take a Chill Pill

One of the common associations people have with HR is that we are mostly a resource for times of crisis. While HR should be involved in dire situations, I believe that most of us do not want to solely be disaster intervention. That said, I sometimes wonder, did we create this brand for ourselves? Are people afraid to leverage HR because of how they think we will react? Here is my personal prescription to help re-brand yourself as a thoughtful and respected adviser, rather than the office 911 hotline.

• Slow down - I get it - we all want to solve the problems for our leaders, and we want to do it quickly. If you're like me, you get a dopamine rush every time you get a note saying, "Thanks for the quick turnaround!” It is really the frosting on top if they include a smiley. We're guilty of wanting to satisfy others while also getting things off our plate. However, if we constantly rush to answer queries and get the ball out of our court, we miss great opportunities to demonstrate deeper value. What might we have solved if we’d asked some contextual questions? Did we solve for the long-term? Or just for this moment? In asking these questions, it may feel like we are delaying a solution, but in doing so, we demonstrate curiosity and business acumen. Do not forget, we are also responsible for teaching people how to work with us through our actions, so if you always respond immediately, the expectation is going to be that you will always respond immediately, which can lead to disappointment down the road. Pace yourself and...
• Don't rush to close everything out - I'm guilty of this. We all are. I like to have everything wrapped up with a bow. However, through experience, I've found that it's okay to sometimes leave things open. Much of the pressure we feel to wrap things up is self-imposed. It is natural to want to check items off your list, but if doing so means you compromise value, then it's not worth it. Try to get comfortable with leaving items on your to-do list. Realize it is okay to leave for the evening without emptying your plate. It will be waiting for you in the morning, and perhaps you'll gain a fresh perspective with rest. Perhaps you'll find that you could...
• Wait for others to respond - Let's say you were just cc'd on an email presenting a question to be answered or a problem to be solved. You notice five other people are cc'd. Do you respond immediately, simply because you have an answer or an opinion? Instead, try waiting. Often times, others present information that might have changed your response. By giving others the opportunity to respond and add context, you can take the time to reflect before giving a thoughtful and informed answer. Or, perhaps, with the information presented by others, the person can solve the problem on their own. And if you do respond...
• Aim to diffuse situations - don't add to them - When you approach a challenge with your leaders or with employees, do you actively work to instill calm? If not, you should try it. Employees and leaders look to HR to be cool, calm, and collected. Even if you’re thinking, "this is insane!" - remember to wear your game face. Being measured and calm will help you make better decisions and will help you gain respect with others. Don't add unnecessary stress to the situation. Instead, aim to bring people to a place of reason, without contributing to water-cooler talk. And when things seem bad...
• Assume the best in others - Easy to suggest, incredibly hard to do. By nature, most of us are quick to assume that when someone is treating us other than how we'd like, it is intentional, so we assign blame. Or, in other situations, when someone makes a mistake, it is because they were being careless/unintelligent/malicious/disrespectful (pick your favorite adjective). But imagine how much we could improve our relationships if we paused to consider other potential reasons for the mistake. Maybe we misunderstood their intention. Perhaps they did not know what was expected. Maybe their personal style needs improvement, and they've never been properly coached. Teaching yourself not to immediately assume the worst is hard, but with practice, you can do it. Pause before reacting or forming your conclusion. Engage with the person. Don't be embarrassed or afraid to tell them how they made you feel, or to discuss the problems caused by their mistake. However, do so diplomatically. When assessing a situation (and I would suggest generally in life), you should do your best to...
• Be Optimistic – When teammates come to you for advice, it might be easier to commiserate with them, or to immediately allow yourself to think of all the potential pitfalls, given the situation. Try instead to avoid this potential default. Your colleagues will benefit most from someone who helps them navigate the situation and who helps them see the potential best-case scenario. Be the person who brightens someone's day. And even though doing so may be difficult, given your busy schedule, it will help if you try to....
• Be in the moment - How often are you thinking of the next thing to say, or trying to solve a problem before you hear the whole story? Maybe you are looking into someone's eyes while they talk, but you are really thinking about your inbox. When you catch yourself doing this, try to refocus, relax, and be present. Give them your total attention. If you don't have time, be honest and ask to catch up later. But if you choose to engage - try to let your other thoughts go for that moment and just be present. If you find that engaging is too difficult because you have too much on your plate, try to remember that you can catch up on busy work in the evening, or over the weekend. When I find myself stressed and unable to just listen, I remind myself that everything does not have to be accomplished in that moment, which helps me pay attention to the conversation at hand. And when all else fails, I try to tell myself to do my best to...
• Have fun - First and foremost, you're a person, so be a person. No one wants a colleague who is robotic or neurotic. You spend so much of your life in the workplace that you might as well do your best to enjoy yourself. Be vulnerable. Show your true colors. Be approachable and try to help others relax, rather than contribute to their stress. Be helpful and empathetic - smile more and be mindful of how you're perceived. Be silly, laugh at jokes, and let people see that you're human. As HR professionals, we have so many opportunities to make the workplace better, in ways both big and small, and doing so is so much easier if we're in a good state of mind. Don't be the workplace police or the crisis hotline. Be a source of calm, guidance, and direction. And when you're feeling overwhelmed, remember - have fun, relax, and don't forget to chill out.