RWC-Inspired | LDL September Series

In honour of the 2023 Rugby World Cup, 200 years since the great game of rugby was created by William Webb Ellis, I’ve decided to launch my own #RWC-inspired series this month where I’ll reflect on old stories, key memories and fundamental life lessons I had from my sporting days that still impact me today! I hope you enjoy…

As the first match of the 2023 Rugby World Cup is about to kick off, I'm reminded of the last time I was in Paris for the World Cup in 1999. At that time, I was an uncapped player, yet to make my debut for England. Despite a crushing defeat by New Zealand, thanks to Jonah Lomu's performance at Twickenham, we still managed to reach the quarterfinals. Our match was against South Africa at the Stade de France stadium, the same stadium where this year's final will be held. Interestingly, I was the only uncapped player in that squad by the time we got to the quarter final. The team was selected a week prior to the match, and I remember vividly how coach Clive Woodward approached me after breakfast on match day.

With Dan Luger nursing a slight hamstring injury, Woodward told me to prepare as if I was going to play in the quarterfinal. This would be my first time playing in an official test match, let alone a World Cup match. He was obviously anxious, given the mounting pressure from the media to deliver results. Despite being an uncapped player, I didn't feel like an outsider. I had been part of the team in pre-World Cup warm-up fixtures and during our training camp in Australia. My performance against Queensland Reds, where I scored two tries and was awarded the man of the match, seemed to solidify my place in the squad.

However, I was overlooked for selection in the test team against Australia the following week, which was quite disappointing. Even after proving my worth in the full-strength team alongside England's superstars, I found myself asking, "What more could I have done?" But that's a story for another day…?

As we gear up for this World Cup, it's interesting to see some parallels with our 1999 squad. While the current squad seems to be in a worse position than we were, I believe there's always room for surprises in rugby. Here's to hoping they can turn things around and make their mark in this World Cup.

Back to the story… as the game against South Africa drew closer, my nerves were at an all-time high. I was on the cusp of making my debut in a World Cup quarterfinal. I remember speaking to Dan Luger, a good friend and teammate who had a slight injury worry. He assured me that he would be fine for the game, and that the coaches were panicking unnecessarily.

Hearing those words from Dan eased some of the pressure, but it also brought back a familiar disappointment. This sweet and sour feeling that I often talk about. The high of scoring a couple of tries against Queensland Reds, followed by the low of not being picked to make my debut the next week against Australia. And now, the excitement of potentially making my debut in a World Cup quarterfinal, only to realise that I might not get the chance after all.

I respected Dan's wishes and didn't tell Clive Woodward about our conversation. So, I travelled to the stadium in silence, pretending as if I was starting. I wanted to experience the excitement, the pressure, and the noise. I put on my kit and warmed up with the squad, trying to soak in every moment on the pitch.

Maybe on reflection, I annoyed the coaches a bit, as they felt I wasn't fully focused or taking the situation seriously. But I had crucial information they didn't have - Dan Luger was 100% fit and definitely going to play! In their minds, there was still a chance he might not play, and I would have to step in. Looking back, I wonder if I should have shared this information with them, but I didn't want to cause any distractions.

We were in Paris, ready for a Rugby World Cup quarterfinal. Everyone was on edge. I decided to stay in my lane, do my bit, and support Dan during his warm-up and preparation. After all, it was his first World Cup and quarterfinal too. Having even the slightest niggle can distract a player, so I tried to help him through the process as best as I could.?

As the Rugby World Cup 2023 is about to start, I can't help but think back to my time as part of the England squad for the 1999 World Cup1. Back then, I was a fringe player, constantly on the cusp of making my debut. I was called upon to prepare as if I was going to play in the quarterfinals against South Africa, only to find out that I wasn't actually going to play.

I remember joining the team for the warm-up on the pitch. The atmosphere was electric, filled with anticipation and nerves. But when Dan confirmed he was fit to play, I was asked to change out of my kit and join the other non-playing squad members up in the stand.

The transition from the pitch to the stand was filled with friendly banter from my teammates. Comments about me being a competition winner who got to warm up with the England team were thrown around, all in good humour. It was a brutal reminder of the competitive nature of rugby, but also a testament to the camaraderie within the team.

Despite the disappointment, I still held onto the hope of breaking into the team and playing in a World Cup, maybe in the semis, or the final, or perhaps in the next World Cup in 2003. The experience of being overlooked for selection in previous matches was still fresh in my mind, leading me to question whether I would ever get to play for England. On the other hand, I had put in a lot of effort in pre-season training, even making it to the penultimate squad cut of 35 out of an initial 60. I was physically in the best shape of my life, and despite not having played for England yet, I was eager for my chance.

The World Cup selection process was nerve-wracking. I remember being out for a birthday meal with my girlfriend, anxiously waiting to log onto the player's portal to find out if I had made the squad. Despite several attempts, I couldn't connect to the internet in the remote parts of Lincoln where we were. The suspense was almost unbearable as I saw text messages popping up on my phone. This moment encapsulates the highs and lows of being a professional rugby player. The anticipation, the disappointment, the hope – it's all part and parcel of the journey. As the current England team gears up for the World Cup, I wish them all the best and hope they seize every opportunity that comes their way.

The anticipation of being selected for the Rugby World Cup squad is an intense experience. The feeling of jubilation when you see your name on the list, or the heartbreak when you don't, is tough to describe. With now only 33 spots available and so many talented players vying for a place, there are always those who miss out, returning to their clubs with dreams shattered1.

Thankfully, during that birthday meal, I saw my name on the list… much to my relief.

However, the joy was short-lived as three players from the 33-member squad were to be cut, in 1999 the squad size was only 30. Sadly, I was one of those three. The news was delivered via email, a brutal way to find out that my dream of playing in the World Cup was over… for now.

Returning to my club was a challenging transition. I had been training with England for weeks, and suddenly I was back preparing to play a club game against Northampton Saints. It was not an easy adjustment, especially with my dreams crushed.

Interestingly, on the opposing team that day was a young wing named Ben Cohen who went on to have an incredible England career, even winning the Rugby World Cup in 2003.

As fate would have it, I received a call inviting me back to the World Cup squad. David Rees, another wing in the squad, had pulled his hamstring in the final warm-up game and had to withdraw. So, despite the rollercoaster of emotions, I found myself back with the England squad, ready to take on the World Cup.

It's a fascinating journey, filled with highs and lows. I recall the bitter disappointment of being cut from the squad, thinking it was all over. The coaches had made their decision, and I felt a profound sense of devastation. But then, in a twist of fate, I was recalled back into the squad1 and the devastation then passed over to David This was the sweet after the sour for me, an unexpected turn of events that left me elated.

Despite this joy, there were still reminders of my initial disappointment. The squad photos had been taken, the announcements made - all without me. I was a late addition, a guest more than a member. I wasn't part of the initial official squad announcement, which was a harsh reminder of my initial exclusion.

I understand the gut-wrenching feeling of not making a squad, especially a World Cup squad. But I also know the thrill of going to a World Cup, even as a non-capped player hoping to get a game in the early group stages.

Sadly, I didn't get a chance to play in the 1999 tournament. My contribution was limited to playing five-a-side football with other non-selected squad members against the management. It was a frustrating experience, but one that I learned from.

Fast forward to now, I'm here in Paris as a member of the World Rugby Judiciary. This is my third World Cup. My first was in 1999 in Wales, my second was in Japan in 2019 as a judiciary panel member, and now I'm here in Paris. Being part of this panel is an achievement in itself. It is a rigorous selection process, and you need to consistently perform well over four years to be selected. As a non-lawyer, I'm among a select few from around the world on this panel.

While it's not the same as winning the Webb Ellis trophy as a player, it's still a significant achievement. I always strive to be the best at what I do, and being selected for this panel means I'm among the top echelons in the judiciary7.

In my keynotes, I often talk about everyone having a "World Cup" moment in their lives. My dream was to win a Rugby World Cup as a player, but I've had to pivot and redefine what that moment is for me off the pitch. Being part of this World Cup in Paris is a high point in my sporting career and something I'm immensely proud of.