Ruth part 4: in which I write a therapeutic story that will change her life forever
Frances Masters MBACP accred GHGI AC (Fellow)
Creator of the FUSION Therapeutic Coaching Model/Positive Disruptor/ Author /Psychotherapist/Coach/Supervisor. Sign up for my LinkedIn newsletter The Super Coaches Are Coming
By session 4,?Ruth,?my?young client with ME whose case study I wrote up for the?book by Dr Grahame Browne ,?was experiencing some real?changes that were now clear to see.
She was regularly using the breathing technique to calm?her physiology and regulate?her emotions. She was sleeping only at night and not during the day, helped immensely?by The Blackboard Technique.
As a direct result of better quality sleep (and using the dial-on-the-back technique I had taught her in visualisation) her back pain?had significantly reduced.?
This meant?she was able to walk a bit further and enjoy some gentle dance stretches?and moves at home. I had a sense the real Ruth was beginning to?emerge?from behind the passing clouds of ME.
Ruth now had clear evidence things were improving and was filled with hope. The deep depression had lifted and positive expectation had replaced despair. Now the vision of her future felt brighter and filled with possibilities.
This was all reflected in the *Continuum of Wellbeing assessment I asked her to complete?at the start of every?session.
*The C-o-W. is an assessment unique to the Fusion Model that connects unmet needs to subjective wellbeing ?
RUTH?PART 4: a life changing story
Ruth really was a talented visualiser and often spoke in metaphor, which I used to create bespoke visualisations and therapeutic stories ?just for her with personalised embedded messages directed at her subconscious mind.
One clear message from Ruth was that her mum, with the very best of intentions, was loathe to let her do too much in case she tired herself and set herself back. Ruth's natural instinct as a teenager was to try and stretch and grow. Ruth's mind-set was changing fast, but mum?was much more cautious and Ruth, an only child,?now felt held back, like she was 'being wrapped in cotton wool', as she described it.
This was?reinforced a little later when I?asked Ruth?to draw a cross on a line that represented her journey to full health. She placed her progress at 75%. When mum came to pick her up I asked her to do the same exercise.?
Mum placed Ruth?at just 50% through her ME journey.
As well as her long term issues with ME, Ruth was experiencing the normal and growing need for more control over her life. She was knocking at the door of?the adult world and now even talking about how she would like?to learn to drive. So I wrote a story I hoped would help her embrace her natural and innate need for autonomy, to draw on her inner strength, continue to support both her physical and emotional?response?to ME and to build?her resilience so that she could?deal with the inevitable set backs she would experience on her road to recovery, and in her future life in general. Here it is with the embedded messages in bold. I hope you find it helpful. It represented quite a breakthrough for Ruth.
The Princess who found her power
In a distant land, far off and a long time ago, there lived a king and queen. They ruled with kindness over a country that flourished. But the king and queen were not happy. They longed for a child as an heir to the throne; a child who would continue their benevolent lineage and provide the future security and confidence the people needed. After many years, something wonderful happened.
The queen found she was pregnant and, after a trouble free pregnancy, gave birth to a healthy black haired daughter they named Princess Kalli, meaning ‘darkest and most beautiful one.’ All went well. The child thrived and was surrounded by love. If Princess Kalli cried, all her needs were attended to by her personal courtiers.
She was a happy baby. But, as she approached her ninth month, her parents became distressed. Kalli was trying to walk and, in her efforts, was falling and getting covered in cuts and bruises. The king and queen, intent on protecting their beautiful daughter, instructed the courtiers to carry her everywhere.
No harm must come to this most precious of children. And so it continued until, one day, many, many years later, with the king and queen now old a frail, the threat of invasion came from a neighbouring land. The king called for Kalli. ‘You will have to lead the troops into battle’, he said. ‘You must head up the army and motivate them to fight or all will be lost’
‘But I can’t do it’ said Princess Kalli in despair. ‘I’ve never fought any battles. What if I fail? I can’t even walk. Someone must do it for me.’ ‘There is no one’ said the king. It’s up to you now Kalli’ he said, and the princess saw that he was right. The time had come for her to step into the adult world. She ordered a carriage and horses to be brought.
Her loyal courtiers tried to carry her to it. ‘Stop’ said the princess. ‘I must do this myself’. ‘But princess’ cried the courtiers, ‘you may fall and hurt yourself.’ ‘I would rather fall than my country fall’ said the princess.’ And with those words, she raised herself onto her fragile legs and tumbled forward onto the floor.
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The courtiers rushed forward. ‘Leave me’ cried the princess and she tried again, pulling herself into an upright position and falling once more.
But with every fall, she worked out how not to do it and tried it a little differently next time until finally, she succeeded and was able to put one foot in front of the other without losing her balance. Battered and bruised, she now stood tall before her loyal soldiers.
‘Fight as you have never fought before’, she told them.
‘Do not be afraid, for fear will paralyse you.
The shadow is larger than the monster.
Freedom and independence are prizes worth fighting for.
Never give up.
If you fall down seven times, get up eight and you will prevail.
You will succeed.’ ?
And that is exactly what happened. With a fierce determination fired by the powerful words of the princess, the soldiers took to the battle field. Many were struck down but rose again and again. All focused on the prize and finally the enemy ran for the hills, defeated. After the battle, Princess Kalli assumed her rightful position as head of the army.
Something had changed. She would never be the same again. No one needed to carry her anymore. The?crisis that threatened to destroy her world had made her stronger in so many ways. Now Princess Kalli stood on her own two feet and she had earned the respect of all the land. Now she had lost her fear of failure.
Many mistakes would inevitably?lay ahead of her. But princess Kalli was determined she would continue?to?fail?her way to success. And, in that way, princess Kalli became the wisest and strongest leader her land had ever known.
Her light shone brightly and, in allowing herself to shine, she gave permission for those around her to shine too.
The kingdom flourished as never before.
And all were happy. ?
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