Running My Family on EOS?

The beginning of the year more than any other time is typically when business owners and leadership teams make space to refine their long-term vision and develop annual plans. It's an opportunity to think about the big picture, reflect and learn from the prior year, evaluate changes to the company's vision, and chart the course for the new year. There's little debate in business circles that vision casting and strategic planning practices like these and corresponding operating systems such as the Entrepreneurial Operating System? (EOS) are common sense approaches that significantly contribute to an organization's future success.

If these practices are so valuable within businesses, couldn't they be just as impactful in our lives, maybe even within our families?

As a longtime entrepreneur, business owner, former CEO, and Certified EOS Implementer?, I've been asking and exploring this question for the last decade; seeing how far I can apply vision casting, strategic planning, and most recently the Entrepreneurial Operating System? (EOS) framework within my family. A few days ago I wrapped up an Annual Planning day with my wife, Renee, and our four children using the EOS? framework for the third straight year.

If you're interested in learning how we leverage the EOS? framework within our family, this article is written for you.

But first, a couple of caveats:

1. While I'm partial to using the Entrepreneurial Operating System? because of my coaching experience and expertise with EOS?, it's just one of many proven and effective frameworks. In my opinion, what is most important is to select a framework that resonates with you and stick with it, whether in your business or your personal life. Over the long term, you'll make more progress and have less stress rather than continually changing your methods.
2. My family has been tinkering with this vision-building stuff for over a decade, but when my four children were younger (ages in single digits) they couldn't participate much, so Renee and I did the vision and strategic planning without them. As they've grown, we've communicated key components of our vision to them, beginning with our family's core values. And now that our kids are 19, 17, 14, and 9, they are able to participate fully in the entire process. So depending on your family's size and life stage, you'll need to adjust the process (and your expectations) accordingly.

With that context, here's what our family's EOS? based annual planning session looked like this year.

First, we blocked out the session date a couple of months in advance, putting it on our calendars when we knew all of us would have plenty of margin and energy. In our case, the week between Christmas and New Year's Day works well because none of us are working or have school and we're wrapping up the prior year and thinking about the year to come. We held the session offsite; in our case, we own a Retreat Center on a rural property next to our house that I use for my EOS? sessions. Knowing this isn't the norm for most people, I'd suggest finding somewhere away from your home where you won't be distracted and can relax. Consider renting an Airbnb or a hotel. Make it fun and life-giving (it's only once per year).

All six of us prepared in advance. A few weeks before the planning session, I asked everyone to think about and draft 3-7 annual goals and 3-7 individual Rocks (90-day priorities) prior to the planning session (more on goals and rocks later). I also asked each person to bring one thing to share that they admire about each of the other family members and one thing they would recommend that each family member start or stop in the coming year, for the greater good of the family. This content was shared at the annual planning session during a One Thing Commitment exercise (explained later). This was the most prework we did before an annual planning session and it definitely paid off, helping to make for a better session. As Benjamin Franklin said, "by failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.”

For the third straight year, we followed the EOS Vision/Traction Organizer? (V/TO) format, with a few minor modifications to help it fit our family instead of a business. After three years of using and refining our V/TO?, the content is getting richer and clearer. Our V/TO?consists of the following seven sections:

1. Core Values - These are the bedrock, non-negotiable behaviors that define our family's culture, and how we treat others. No two families have exactly the same set of core values. My wife, Renee, and I have been refining and solidifying our core values for over a decade. We've found that they are discovered over time. And while we are far from perfect and don't live into them 100%, they are a critical true north to guide and help us make hundreds of small and large decisions. Our family's five core values are: Choose Together, Know Our Story, Focus On Discipleship, Invest In Relationships, and Practice Stewardship. For each core value, we have short descriptors that explain what the value means.
2. Core Focus? - This is our filter for strategic decisions. It captures our "why" and our "what". Specifically, what we're passionate about and what we aspire to be known for. Our Core Focus? is aspirational and captures our hearts and minds. It's something we will never fully achieve but gets us excited about the long-term impact we hope to make. Our family's Core Focus? is to create an integrated and vibrant family culture full of grace and truth, the overflow of which points to Jesus and helps to make our local community a better place to live and work.
3. 10-Year Targets? - These are specific, measurable long-term goals that our family hopes to achieve. We first established our 10-Year Targets?in 2020 with 2030 in mind. Our 10-Year Targets?align, inspire and motivate us. They are things like Renee and I celebrating 35 years of a thriving, fruitful, purpose-filled, and fulfilling marriage or all our children being on positive life trajectories with no unleveraged debt. The targets help guide decisions and priorities. In total, we have about a dozen 10-Year Targets?defined for our family on our V/TO?.
4. 3-Year Picture? - This is a picture, not a plan. It summarizes a few financial measurables such as revenue targets for our businesses and charitable giving goals. We also identify things that we are predicting to be true over the next three years for our family, painting a vivid picture that we all see and share together. For example, certain trips that we hope to take together or milestones that we hope to achieve. Just because we put it on paper doesn't mean it will magically come true, but if we don't define a specific destination we certainly have no chance of reaching it!
5. 1-Year Plan - The 1-Year Plan is more tactical. It has some of the same financial measurables as the 3-Year Picture? but focuses more narrowly on targets for the upcoming year. The 1-Year Plan has 3-7 individual goals defined for each of us that we identify and prioritize to accomplish over the course of the year. Each goal is S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely). For example, one of my individual goals for the upcoming year is to deliver 120+ high-energy, low-stress full-day EOS? sessions with an average session rating >= 9.4 (on a 10-point scale as measured by client feedback after each session). My 19-year-old has a goal to work out 3 times a week. My 9-year-old has a goal to read challenging chapter books, 100+ pages each. It's important that each of us, including the kids, come up with our own goals. Though Renee and I offer guidance and feedback, it's ultimately up to each kid to decide on their goals.
6. Rocks (90-day priorities) - Rocks are things that can be completed in 90 days or less. They are often, but not always, informed by and support the annual goals. Similar to the goals, there are 3-7 individual Rocks for each of us. Less is more. Fewer Rocks help us focus our time and attention on completing the most important things. Rocks are also S.M.A.R.T. For example, one of my Rocks is to play pickleball twice per week (and hopefully not pull my hamstring in the process). One of my 19-year-old's Rocks is to learn to snowboard. One of my 14-year-old's Rocks is to volunteer in the childcare area at our church twice per month. Again, after everyone comes up with their Rocks, Renee and I offer guidance and feedback, but ultimately they make the final decision.
7. One Thing Commitments - One Thing Commitments are based on an exercise I've been conducting with my EOS? clients for several years which is designed to expose our blind spots. It's incredibly impactful and one of the highlights of annual planning sessions for businesses, so I decided to try it with our family over the last couple of years. During the exercise, everyone shares something they admire about each of the other family members and "one thing" they would recommend that each family member start or stop in the coming year for the greater good of the family. This year I was blown away by what was shared and honestly, there were a couple of times that I felt myself tearing up a bit (in a good way) watching my kids learn to give and receive constructive feedback. At the end of the exercise, each of us selects one thing that we will commit to working on for the entirety of the next year. We add these One Thing Commitments to the V/TO?and review them during our quarterly family meetings.

So with the above V/TO?framework in mind, the agenda for this year's annual planning session was as follows:

Check-in - We began the session with a 15-minute check-in to help everyone transition into the meeting and align on expectations. During the check-in each of us answered three questions: 1) share three family greats from the last year 2) share one personal great from the last year 3) share your expectations for the annual planning session. Each family member took turns sharing their responses, all of which I captured on the whiteboard. At the end of the sharing time, seeing all of our collective "gains" listed in one place was a positive way to start the meeting and reflect on the progress we've made together.

Review the prior year - We reviewed each measurable (a few financial targets) and goals from the prior year's plan and determined if they were achieved (completed) or not, tallying them to calculate a percentage completion rate. This year was the first time we completed 100% of our goals, however, our motivation is always progress, not perfection. We consider a completion percentage of 80% or better a successful result. Lastly, we asked each family member to evaluate the entire year by assigning a letter grade, A through F (like in school), and then we discussed the similarities and differences.

Review the prior quarter - We went through exactly the same exercise as with the prior year, but for Rocks (90-day priorities) from the past quarter.

Team health - We completed The One Thing Commitment exercise (as described earlier).

V/TO? review - We reviewed, discussed, and refined each section of the V/TO?, as needed. This included reviewing and updating our Core Values, Core Focus?, 10-Year Targets?, and 3-Year Picture?.

Dance break!! - That's right, beyond taking short breaks about every hour, I planned an extended stretch break about halfway through the annual planning session to re-energize everyone a bit with some line dancing! It was a fun way to get everyone out of their chairs and move a bit, so much so that I might even try it with a few clients this year!

Set 1-Year Plan - We set 1-year measurables (financial targets) and individual goals for the new year (as described earlier).

Set Rocks - We set 90-day measurables (financial targets) and individual priorities (Rocks) for the upcoming quarter (as described earlier).

Issues List - We created a list of Issues (topics for discussion, problems, opportunities, ideas, etc.) that any family member felt required discussion. Once we built the entire Issues List we prioritized the topics and worked through them, discussing them one at a time until we agreed upon a solution, typically an action or next step. We followed the EOS? Issue Solving Track? method to identify, discuss, and solve issues.

Next steps / conclude - We clarified and agreed upon the next steps and follow-up action items from the annual planning session and then asked everyone to respond to four questions in order to learn from each other:

1. Provide brief feedback on the session.
2. Were your expectations met? Yes or no?
3. Restate your One Thing Commitment.
4. Rate the session from 1-10, with 10 being best.

Celebrate - One super important aspect of the annual planning session is to celebrate and have fun. Casting vision and working to achieve a plan all year within the context of a business is hard work, let alone within a family! One way we enjoy celebrating and having fun is by going out for a Hibachi dinner at the end of the annual planning session. It's become a tradition for our family to douse our food in teriyaki sauce, indulge in yum yum sauce, and attempt to catch vegetables in our mouths. It's pretty much the only time when we eat Hibachi (we need a year to digest and recover from the experience).

After all of that, the annual planning session is complete for another year! However, to dramatically increase the likelihood of achieving our annual goals and Rocks, we've also implemented additional EOS? meeting tools and rhythms such as quarterly planning sessions during the year that follow a similar agenda. Additionally, we conduct a weekly 60-minute meeting every week, inspired by the EOS? Level 10 Meeting?(L10). Our weekly L10 meeting is "the glue" that holds our annual plan together. During the weekly L10 meeting we spend time syncing up calendars for the week (which is much more important now that three of our kids are teenagers), check in on key measurables from our family's scorecard, give quick updates on our Rocks, assign and complete to-dos, and solve issues from the week. We essentially follow the EOS? Level 10 Meeting?(L10) agenda, with a few minor modifications to help it fit our family instead of a business.

Now that we've been utilizing the Entrepreneurial Operating System? (EOS) for several years within our family, I'm more convinced than ever that a family at its core is a team, acknowledging there are certainly major differences between businesses and families. And if a family is a team, it will only be made stronger with a clearly defined and unified vision and plan that increases its performance and achieves better results by practicing accountability and focusing its attention on the right areas at the right times. A healthy family team is one that's highly trusting, open, honest, and cohesive. And I believe that if each of us as business leaders chose to redirect just 10% of our best entrepreneurial energy and leadership back into our families we'd dramatically impact the trajectory of our lives and that of our children, while also experiencing more joy and fulfillment as we do it.

Download the V/TO? template and many other EOS? tools here.

About John Herman

Born and raised in Cincinnati, OH I began working in Corporate America while I was still in business school at the University of Cincinnati. I spent 15 years at two large manufacturing companies in operational leadership roles and as a plant manager, but felt a growing pull to make an entrepreneurial leap. In 2010, I ended up quitting my job and building a business with a few friends in my church community. We were blessed to see the business grow rapidly; with $12 million in revenue and 60 employees by our 3rd year in business. I ran that business as the CEO for 5 years and then exited in 2016. Since then, I’ve been coaching other business owners and leaders through my firm Worthy Endeavors, helping them grow their businesses in a healthy way. In 2019, I read Traction, fell in love immediately with the model, and became an EOS Implementer?. I’ve been fortunate to help more than 50 clients implement the Entrepreneurial Operating System? in their businesses.