Running on empty?

The last few years have asked a lot of us. It is hard to put your finger on exactly what effect the pandemic has had on us, but we know things aren’t the same. It seems to have affected our children badly and employees don’t seem as settled. Many people feel that recent events have left us with depleted resources emotionally. Our recent experience has been one of constant uncertainty: how our business will be affected, where and when to go on holiday because of climate change, loss of control and all the anxiety that involves.

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With so much being thrown up in the air, many have spotted new opportunities, a new career, moving to another part of the country, but with that can also come indecision, lack of focus and direction.

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All this is well known, and the concept of languishing is one which we have been hearing about more and more. This has been defined as the absence of mental wellness and if so, no wonder we’re hearing so much about mental health these days. It’s not the same as depression and anxiety which are well defined and distinguishable conditions. It’s much more a sense of feeling ‘blah’, a lack of feeling positive about life, feeling lacklustre.

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Some of the signs of languishing include:

·?????? Feeling unmotivated and unsettled

·?????? Finding it difficult to focus

·?????? Apathy, fatigue

·?????? Loss of interest in hobbies

·?????? Stagnation

·?????? Disconnection with a sense of purpose and direction.

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The opposite of languishing is flourishing, being in the peak of wellbeing and generally having positive feelings about life, a sustained sense that?life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile. Funnily enough there seems to be much more information available about languishing than flourishing! It is a word that has come from positive psychology which also gave us the concept of flow.

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What is needed to restore our sense of wellbeing is replenishment, ways of feeding and nurturing ourselves. How do we start to put back what we have had to give out? The well-known life coach Tony Robbins says we have six basic human needs:

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1.?Certainty:?assurance you can avoid pain and gain pleasure 2.?Uncertainty/Variety: the need for the unknown, change, new stimuli 3.?Significance: feeling unique, important, special or needed 4.?Connection/Love: a strong feeling of closeness or union with someone or something 5.?Growth: an expansion of capacity, capability or understanding 6.?Contribution: a sense of service and focus on helping, giving to and supporting others.

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Some of these will be hard to do anything about like certainty as long as it’s out of our control, but we can invest in our significant relationships.

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Where are you in all this? Running on empty? What can we most hope for at the moment?

Can wellbeing be permanently built? When are you at your happiest?

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