Running Conversations

Some years ago, leadership development consultant Dr. John Inman wrote: ?"I have noticed that it is very easy for both me and my clients to focus on tasks and forget that the power of leadership comes from being in conversation. Executing tasks is important but will not create a world class organization."

The power of leadership comes from being in conversation.

In a recent engagement at a client company, I facilitated a challenging conversation that the leadership team needed to have. What made it challenging is that there were things that needed to be said about the culture ("how we do things here"). Things that need to change.

The president of the company said, "I don't like confrontation." As Inman so wisely put it, some leaders would rather run around executing tasks than have a challenging conversation.

Challenging conversations can be difficult because they bring up things we would rather not address. "Let sleeping dogs lie" is an old expression that counsels avoidance of issues.

But an organization that recognizes the need to change must develop its conversational skills. Here are five tips to help get started.

Say what you mean when it comes time for the conversation. Don't sugar coat your message.

Plan before convening for the difficult conversation. Have clarity of purpose going in.

Engage the other person(s) in true dialogue to seek solutions that will be sustainable.

Ask for their help in solving the issue. Admit you don't have all the answers.

Know that it isn't going to be easy and that it will take time and effort. But changing for the better often requires just that.

About the author: Terrence "Terry" Seamon works with leaders and teams to enhance their communication skills especially ways to hold difficult conversations.