Rules, Principles, and remember number thirty-two...
Bryce Main
Multi-genre author, mostly Crime fiction. Scottish. Been writing longer than I’ve been wearing big boy’s trousers.
Life is full of rules and principles. Axioms and self-evident truths. Guidelines and maxims.
It’s also full of bullshit and baloney. Hokum and flim-flam. Phooey and poppycock.
These can either guide you over the hurdles and around the pitfalls. Or they can just plain leave you to your own devices and stand on the sidelines pissing themselves laughing.
Some will stick in your memory like a fast-acting dollop of superglue.
Others will disappear into the distance with the wages and the rent money.
Some will make you feel all the better for having known them.
Others will make you feel like you were just in the wrong damned place at the wrong damned time when they came walking by.
There are millions of them.
Everyone has their own favourites.
I have 50 that, for one reason or another, have stayed around long enough to either make me smile and nod my head knowingly, or annoy the hell out of me.
Whether they’re true or not is anyone’s guess.
My personal favourite is number 32.?
ONE TO TEN…
You can’t always get what you want.
You won’t always get what you need.
Being in love can be the best, and the worst, feeling in the world.
Your children will be brighter than you, get over it.
You’ll never be as clever as you think you are, or want to be.
Being drunk is never as much fun as getting drunk.
Getting intelligent is never as much fun as being intelligent.
Dogs will love you whether you want them to or not.
Cats will ignore you unless they want something from you.
You’ll never have all the time you need.?
ELEVEN TO TWENTY…
The harder you work the more work your boss will give you.
You’ll never be paid what you’re worth.
You’ll always want to be better looking.
You’ll always want to have more money.
Sometimes your kids will hate your guts.
Sometimes you’ll hate your own guts.
Overnight success takes years to happen.
School teaches you about learning, not about life.
Money doesn’t make the world go around, that’s gravity.
Gravity doesn’t keep the world going around, that’s inertia.
TWENTY ONE TO THIRTY…
The weight of your shoulders is equal to the weight of your troubles.
Marketing isn’t the same as advertising.
Just because you can write doesn’t mean you’re a writer.
Sometimes Death comes before Life, not just after it.
领英推荐
People who are creative have brains that work differently.
This secretly pisses off some people who aren’t creative.
Bill Haley never rocked around the clock in his life.
An Art Director isn’t the same animal as a Mac operator.
Consumers do read long ad copy if they’re interested enough.
Anything worth saying once is worth listening to twice.
THIRTY ONE TO FORTY…
You are not the centre of anyone’s universe, including yours.
The greatest writing tool sits between your ears.
The same goes for the greatest art directing tool.
The biggest budgets don’t result in the best campaigns.
Some folk go into advertising to win awards...avoid them.
Good enough is never good enough.
Sometimes The Force will be with somebody else...live with it.
Only Glaswegians can say swearwords properly.
Great ideas don’t care who they happen to.
There will always be someone better than you...get over it.
FORTY ONE TO FIFTY…
A large Scotch always tastes the same as a small one.
Zombies hate crematoriums.
One plus one sometimes equals three.
Verbal briefs aren't worth the paper they're not written on.
We all begin life as female…this explains a lot.
Light doesn’t necessarily travel at the speed of light.
Time only waits for those with a big enough budget.
Clients always want their logo to be bigger.
The average person falls asleep in seven minutes...remember this the next time you present creative work to clients.
The Truth isn’t always out there...sometimes it’s in here.
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Above is an excerpt from one of my books of urban essays... Ad Lib.
All my books are available from those nice people at Amazon…right here
Ad Interruptus (NEW):?https://amzn.to/3AmkfjQ
Ad Infinitum:?https://amzn.to/3pof7Uq
Ad Lib: https://amzn.to/2kd4LKf.
Ad Hoc:?https://amzn.to/2Nx8GL8
Love & Coffee:?https://amzn.to/28IWaHq
Heaven Help Us:?https://amzn.to/2nkQ1Jk
Or…you can pop along to brycemain.co.uk and have a sneaky peek at them all together in the one place.
Then buy one (or two) of them for 2023.
Manager Graphics Design and Production
1 年Those are all very good sayings. one of my favorites is this one "Some folk go into advertising to win awards...avoid them." I guess that's why I have a handful of friends in the business.