The Rules of Influence Have Changed

These past few months have been challenging for so many people, with uncertainty in the economy, widespread mental and physical health concerns, and the world in general. Of course, life and business still needs to go on, but the after-effects of the pandemic seem to have left people a little more fragile and hesitant to make decisions, follow through with plans and keep commitments to themselves and others.

Having written and spoken extensively over the years about being bold and going for your goals with gusto, I find myself increasingly thoughtful about exactly how bold I should be and how much gusto I should bring to my current interactions with clients, suppliers and even friends and family.

If you know something about my work, you know that I rarely use the word ‘bold’ on its own; it’s almost always ‘bold yet respectful’. Getting that balance right has always been important. Now it is essential, if we are to behave like thoughtful leaders or even just human beings. I look back at myself over the past three decades and I notice a marked change in the way I approach people and situations. Gone are the loud, pushy, overconfident sales techniques so popular in the 1980’s when I was first starting out in business. I’m happy to report that the shoulder pads have also gone! (I'm not allowed to add an emoji here but I would if I could!)

What is needed these days is a caring and thoughtful approach in every situation. Every situation. There is no place for boldness that comes across as arrogance or bullying. No one wants that. They never have and never will. Times have changed and we need to keep up. My best advice to entrepreneurs today is to be honest and direct with clients, taking the appropriate time to engage with them and offering your full attention when you do.?

You may think we are all in the same boat, but as many people shared online during the pandemic, we are all in the same storm but in different boats. (By the way, if you can find the original author of that quotation, I’d like to give them credit!) The point is, we cannot truly step into the shoes of another person and know exactly what they are going through, so we need to watch our assumptions.?

It’s hard to resist the temptation to push when you know what you offer would be of great value to the other person, and you believe so strongly in your product or service. I know you are passionate about your subject and you believe in your value and that of your services. You simply need to think about how it feels when you are on the receiving end of this kind of technique to see that it doesn’t work well anymore.?

Every week, I receive offers by email and social media. Most of them do not get the tone right and some are quite tone deaf in this age of thoughtful leadership. When hard-sell offers and aggressive statements are made by people I know, I take the time to give them thoughtful feedback, if they are open to it. I encourage you to help others understand how to do business more thoughtfully, as you reflect on your own strategies.

I believe the rules of influence have changed and customers expect us to behave in a much more thoughtful way, or else they won’t do business with us. I also believe that business leaders who dig their heels in and ignore this new way of communicating do so at their peril. It may be annoying to change your approach, especially if it has worked well for you over the years. However, just like shifts in every other area of life and business, the culture we live in has shifted and you may need to shift your mindset and your actions to get the results you want and deserve.

#thoughtful #leadership #thoughtleadership #influence #persuasion #sales #boldleadership #respect