Rule 2: Accept Imperfections

"You're not perfect, sport. And let me save you the suspense. This girl you met, she isn't perfect either" and so goes the wisest line in Good Will Hunting, wise because the perfection trap causes more unhappiness than Jersey Shore.

Accepting your flaws is really the first step on the path to self-confidence.  That probably sounds backward to you.  Many people think that they can't or shouldn't acknowledge flaws because they're actually terrified that if they do so they will irreparably damage their self-image. 

Life doesn't work that way.  You can't hide from your own flaws, continually cover them in lipstick and feel self-confident because then you're simply messaging yourself that your "reality" isn't good enough so you have to create a facade. 

True self-confidence comes when you accept your own imperfections and the imperfections of those around you.  Confident people are comfortable with their own shortcomings, acknowledge them and work on them.  Warning: this doesn't mean you don't have to improve on your problems (you have to work to improve,) but much of our unhappiness comes from unrealistic expectations about ourselves or  life and making anything short of those expectations unacceptable... or, just as painful, waiting on some big event or change until you allow yourself to be happy.  

And by the way if you if you insist on waiting on perfection you'll miss experiences,  learning and will actually train yourself to be unhappy... which, counter intuitively (or not) will make achieving your "perfect" goals harder if not impossible.

You can set your own rules for happiness.  Really.  In any situation.  Try it. When you face a situation that  you think won't hit your standard, instead of waiting for some imperfect trigger that you WILL find (because you're looking for it) and will make you unhappy, be intentional and focus on one thing you can learn from the situation or the one person you can make feel differently.   That also lets you appreciate others more which is the key to great relationships.

So, accept your flaws and work on them.  Besides no one likes perfect people anyway, the perfect are lonely, the imperfect amid great company.

Perfection exists only in moments.  Be grateful for and live in your moments and make peace and find joy amid the “perfect imperfection” of life.

The Ten Rules of Fulfillment

Rule 1 | Rule 2| Rule 3| Rule 4 | Rule 5 | Rule 6| Rule 7| Rule 8| Rule 9| Rule 10

 10 years ago I finished a small book (14,000 words small) The Ten Secrets: A Father's Last Gift  where I tried to distill collected wisdom from multiple sources into a parable of 10 secrets or rules.