Ruinous Empathy - a problem for leaders?

?Radical Candour - let's be clear!

“There’s a Russian anecdote about a guy who has to amputate his dog’s tail but loves him so much that he cuts it off inch by inch each day, rather than all at once. His desire to spare the dog pain and suffering only leads to more pain and suffering. Don’t allow yourself to become that kind of manager.” Kim Scott, Radical Candour

Kim Scott’s book on Radical Candour is a reminder to educational leaders of how to give effective feedback. We are often excellent at giving students feedback but how many of us fall into the trap of ‘Ruinous Empathy’ (the most common mistake).

Scott suggests:

1. Ideally first build a relationship with anyone before giving them feedback. Make sure they know you care personally about them and their career.

2. Then be extremely candid and clear with your critical feedback. Leave no room for interpretation.

3. Do not sugar-coat feedback to make people feel better.

4. Do not get personal or make sweeping statement. Be specific.

5. Be humble. If you are wrong, you want to know.

6. For positive feedback be just as specific, otherwise you are just being insincere.

Providing ineffective feedback is one of the most common mistakes we can make as leaders. Scott says that the results we get from radical candour are often the opposite of what we most fear. Most people are grateful for the honestly once the shame and sense of injustice dissipates.

The quadrants are quite self-explanatory. What needs to become a part of our management (if this is not outsourced to HR departments – a sure way to avoid one’s responsibility in dealing with issues personally) is the courage to give the feedback that is essential for the health of our schools. ?