Routines That Actually Work for Our Wonderfully Weird Brains

January 6, 2025

Hey Thread Weavers!

Welcome to the very first issue of The Multi-Thread Manifesto! I'm vibrating with excitement (and maybe too much coffee) to kick off this newsletter! I'm Itzel, your AuDHDer tech market analyst and I/O Psychology PhD student. Today’s actually a big day for me, it’s Day 1 of my final PhD residency! I’m equal parts excited and nervous (definitely shivering!).

Who's Behind This Chaos?

Let me give you the full download of who's writing to you:

• Tech Market Analyst by day
• PhD student burning the midnight oil
• Caregiving spouse to a combat veteran
• Parent to a brilliant neurodivergent kiddo
• Latina who migrated to the US at age 9 (bringing my Spanish and Panamanian heritage, kinky hair, freckles, and all!)
• A proud AuDHDer (that's Autistic + ADHD!) who also navigates depression, OCD-related body dysmorphia, anxiety, and panic attacks

Why "The Multi-Thread Manifesto"?

Picture a tapestry. Each thread on its own is beautiful, but when woven together, they create something extraordinary. That’s us—women who carry multiple stories, roles, and identities simultaneously.

We’re not just doing one thing at a time; we’re living multiple narratives in parallel:

• Building careers while pursuing dreams
• Nurturing relationships while growing personally
• Managing daily life while planning futures
• Navigating our neurodivergent experiences while supporting others

Each of these is a thread in our life’s fabric, creating patterns both challenging and beautiful.

And Why "Thread Weavers"?

You, my dear readers, are Thread Weavers because you:

• Take life’s different threads and create something meaningful
• Find unexpected connections between your various roles
• Transform chaos into patterns that work for you
• Bring together different parts of life in unique ways
• Support other women in weaving their own stories

Sometimes our threads tangle, sometimes they flow smoothly, and sometimes they create unexpected patterns—but that’s what makes each of our tapestries uniquely beautiful.

Let’s Talk Real Routines

Not those aesthetic "5 AM Club" routines that make us want to yeet our phones across the room. We’re talking about real, messy, effective routines that work with our neurodivergent operating system.

The "Perfect" Morning Routine Myth

You know the scene: You read about someone’s "perfect" morning routine:

• Wake up at 5 AM (LOL)
• Meditate for an hour (while your brain plays Greatest Hits of Embarrassing Moments)
• Green juice (where did I put the blender?)
• Workout (does looking for the missing blender count?)
• Journal (dear diary, still can’t find the blender...)
• Inbox zero (excuse me while I laugh in 3,487 unread emails)

And by 5:07 AM, you’re doom scrolling in bed wondering why you can’t "just do it." Here’s the truth: Your brain is running a different OS, and that’s okay!

Understanding Our Time Processing Style

Research in neurodivergent executive function shows that we often experience time differently. We don’t operate on linear time—we work in:

• Interest-based activation
• Energy windows
• Sporadic motivation bursts
• Body-clock variations

Building a Neurodivergent-Friendly Morning System

Instead of a rigid routine, let’s create a flexible framework:

The Non-Negotiables Cluster

Pick 2-3 absolute must-dos. Mine are:

• Medication
• Water
• Quick body scan

That’s it. Everything else is optional and context-dependent.

Energy-Matched Tasks

Create three task pools:

Low Energy Tasks (for zombie mornings)

• Brushing teeth while sitting down
• Dry shampoo
• Protein shake

Medium Energy Tasks (for regular mornings)

• Quick shower
• Basic skincare
• Simple breakfast

High Energy Tasks (for those rare unicorn mornings)

• Full workout
• Meal prep
• Inbox management

Mix and match based on your energy level. No guilt attached.

Evening Routines: The Real MVP

Plot twist: Your morning actually starts the night before. But instead of a strict routine, create environment triggers:

The Sunset Protocol:

• When phone goes into dark mode = start winding down
• When Netflix asks "Are you still watching?" = skincare time
• When your smart lights dim = final device check

Tech Tools That Help

I’ve tested countless apps (hello, hyperfocus), and here are the ones that actually stick:

Tools to Help You Integrate Life

Here are a few tools and ideas to make life integration smoother:

• Routinery App: Flexible routine blocks for neurodivergent brains.
• Smart Home Automation: Set lights, coffee makers, and reminders to ease transitions.
• Digital Declutter Days: Schedule a couple of hours to tackle emails or digital chaos in low-pressure bursts.
• Energy-Matched Tasks: Group your to-dos into low, medium, and high-energy categories to match your current capacity.

More details...

Routinery App:

• Flexible routine blocks
• No time pressure
• Visual progress

Smart Home Automation (If this is your thing):

• Lights that gradually dim
• Coffee maker that starts with your first phone unlock
• Thermostat adjusting to help with sleep

Reality Check Corner

Last week, my "morning routine" looked like this:

• Monday: Full zombie mode, stimming, hugging my Frenchies, 8am-12pm hyperfocused
• Tuesday: Surprisingly productive, did the whole routine
• Wednesday: What is time even?
• Thursday: Found myself hyperfocused on work at 1 AM
• Friday: Back to basics

And guess what? I still had a successful week-completed what I needed to (most of it).

What Is Life Integration?

Life integration isn’t about perfect balance (spoiler: that doesn’t exist). It’s about weaving the different roles, responsibilities, and passions in your life into a pattern that works for you. Forget the one-size-fits-all productivity advice—it’s time to embrace our unique needs and neurodivergent rhythms.

The Myth of Doing It All

Society tells us we need to “do it all,” but that’s a trap. Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for intention. Here’s how:

1. Define Your Non-Negotiables: What truly matters to you? Identify 2–3 priorities that align with your values and focus on those.
2. Delegate or Automate: Let technology and community support ease the load. Examples: Smart home tools, grocery delivery apps, and asking for help when needed.
3. Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say no or to limit your commitments. Protect your time and energy.

When the "Best Routine" Doesn't Happen

Let’s have an honest chat, Thread Weavers - especially those of us who are neurodivergent with comorbidities like ADHD and autism. Routines can feel like lifelines on good days, but on the hard days? They can feel impossible to meet.

Here’s the truth: Your routine isn’t about perfection; it’s about creating a flexible framework that supports you, no matter the day you’re having.

Elastic Routines Are Key

Think of your routine as stretchy rather than rigid. Focus on a few anchors; small but essential tasks like taking your meds, drinking water, or sitting in a quiet space for a moment. These are the foundation, and everything else is optional depending on how you’re feeling.

Gentle Accountability, Not Guilt

Missed a task? That’s not failure; that’s data. Use apps or trackers that feel like gentle nudges, not judgment. Pair them with reminders like: "I’m human, and that’s okay."

Restart Whenever You Need To

The magic of routines is that they don’t have to start at sunrise. Your day can restart whenever you need it to—whether it’s at 10 AM, 2 PM, or even 9 PM. Every moment is a chance to reset.

What This Looks Like IRL

Last Sunday, my "routine" involved getting up, drinking coffee, then resting for 3 hours while hugging one of my Frenchies because I was having a meltdown (autism). But guess what? I drank water, went thrifting, rested, and restarted at noon. It wasn’t perfect, but it worked for me.

Permission Slips for Imperfect Days

Here’s what I want you to take away today:

• You have permission to restart as many times as needed.
• You have permission to skip steps without guilt.
• You have permission to create your own definitions of productivity.
• You have permission to rest.

Action Items (Remember: Optional!)

1. Identify your true non-negotiables (be ruthless).
2. Create your three energy-level task pools.
3. Set up one environment trigger for evening wind-down.

Next Issue Preview

We'll dive into "The Multi-Role Reality."

If you’re anything like me, you juggle multiple roles daily, whether it’s as a professional, parent, partner, or community member. Join us as we delve into the challenges and rewards of this multi-faceted existence and uncover strategies for thriving in today’s complex world. It’s time to embrace the art of balancing our diverse responsibilities and learn how to navigate our multi-role lives with confidence and purpose. Don’t miss it!

Community Corner

What's your weirdest but most effective routine hack? Reply to this email or share in our LinkedIn group.

Keep threading, and stay sassy my friends.

Yours Truly,

Itzel

P.S. Yes, I wrote this newsletter during what was supposed to be my "morning routine" time. Productivity works in mysterious ways.

The Multi-Thread Manifesto: Because sometimes the best routines aren't routines at all.