Rough road to a sure destination

I started out this piece yesterday with a lot of excitement as interesting ideas and deep thoughts flooded my mind on the subject. And yes, I did complete it. I was fulfilled and proud of what I had put together. I couldn't wait to post it for you all to read, to reflect upon, and hopefully also give me feedback on it. I thought I had done a good job even if I had to say so myself. Then I turned to what I normally keep for the end, uploading the image for the newsletter. Bang!

Let me just say that what you are reading now is not my completed piece of yesterday. I don't know what happened but I suddenly was left with my uploaded image and I could not find my article. It's never happened to me before on the LinkedIn newsletter platform. I have used it for some time now and I was always comfortable knowing that it saved my work automatically and ever so often. Yesterday was a surprise and it was not a pleasant experience. I just left my desk to catch fresh air and moved on to other things when I got back.

I believe that there are reasons why such things happen. Thankfully it has not been enough to prevent me from expressing the core message that I tried to convey yesterday. Those thoughts have kept on running through my mind and like hot potatoes, I won't rest until I drop them.

Today's follower-dictated theory of leadership

I don't know whether you feel my pain and discomfort with the trend in the discourse of leadership today. In my view, I find the follower being accorded so much respect to the detriment of the leader. There is so much talk about the privileges that should be accorded the follower, to the point that she is being portrayed as though she were doing the leader a favour.

The follower is truly king! Well, that is true in a sense. When you consider the fact that the leader has been called to serve, she should treat those being served as kings.

Being a servant, however, does not put the people in charge of the leader. They must not be pampered to the point that they begin to dictate to the leader. In fact, they do not tell the leader how they want to be served. There are limits to the service or servant disposition of the leader.

Leadership by definition puts only one person in charge. Others follow the one in charge. The one in charge calls the shots. And she is expected to do so. Calling the shots doesn't mean barking down orders and riding roughshod over the led. It simply means that everyone should know who is in charge and accord that respect, albeit it as respectfully as the leader conducts his relationship with them. If you are interested in a deeper discussion of what I mean by calling the shots and how a leader can do that, go here or click the picture below.

Interestingly, the wrong idea that many people have about the power of the leader to call the shots is their motivation for seeking to follow. They want to become like the leader, to call the shots as she does. They are attracted to the leader (and not to leadership responsibility as I discussed elsewhere) and have a warped understanding of what the weight of the leader's responsibility is.

There is so much more to the responsibility of leaders than the follower appreciates. In fact, followers cannot appreciate what leadership entails from mere casual observation. Until you truly follow a leader you cannot appreciate the weight of responsibility that she carries. This weight she would carry for virtually the rest of her life since you never stop being a leader and the need for leadership will never cease.

Followers who are eager to 'follow' a leader because of some attraction other than the attraction to the leadership responsibility need to understand that the ride with a leader is not pleasant because the road is rough.

Let me share from my role model leader, Jesus Christ.

No place even to lay a leader's head

Now it happened as they journeyed on the road, that someone said to Him, “Lord, I will follow You wherever You go.” [58] And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”

Luke 9:57-58 NKJV

Someone was so eager to follow Jesus, the leader of leaders, that he said he would follow Him wherever He went. That is quite a commitment. Did he truly mean that statement? Could he really go with Him 'wherever' He went?

The fellow's expressed desire was likely motivated by the things they had seen the leader do, the authority with which He spoke, the knowledge He demonstrated, and how helpful He was to others as a problem-solver, to mention a few. Anyone would be impressed and motivated to follow based on these things and more. These are good sources of attraction that should interest anyone. What they do not reflect is the weight of responsibility that it places on the leader.

The response of the leader takes us to where we are going. He said to the person, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”

That statement sounded simple but it was and still is a very loaded one. It is loaded with very crucial meaning. The very first thing that the leader pointed out to the interested follower was the fact that he should not get carried away with what he saw of Him as a leader and whatever he might have thought leadership to be. He made it clear that leadership was not a 'bed of roses' by any stretch of the imagination.

The leader has no place to lay his head. It means that the leader could end up sleeping anywhere whenever she can find the chance. This portrays to the follower that the lifestyle of the leader is fraught with uncertainty and discomfort the glamour that he sees notwithstanding. Furthermore, He wanted the follower to understand That there is a rough road to the status of the leader and to become well-suited for leadership responsibility.

I do hope that you know dear leader that this should be your experience and story. True leadership does not come with the comforts of living that others like followers have the privilege to live. Leadership is always about sacrifice and that is also reflected in the discomforting circumstance that the leader finds now and again.

The leader in comparison with foxes and birds

There is more to appreciate at a deeper level than just the fact that the leader has no place to lay his head. The leader compared Himself and indirectly the responsibility He to bear with those of the foxes and the birds. Such references are not idle words and must never be seen or treated as such.

Foxes have dens' where they rest and relax with their young while birds also have 'nests' to retire to along with their vulnerable young ones. In both cases, the young ones are rescued from threats, protected, preserved, and provided for as may be required to keep them alive. Whoever is following them will have the opportunity of enjoying the comfort of their dens and nests, and stay away from the hands of the wicked.

The leader, our kind of leader, does not have a place to lay his head. By implication, those who follow her will not have a place to lay their head also. The follower must be prepared to endure the same discomforts that the leader has to endure. The leader is not expected to go out of her way to deprive the follower of the experience that grows them into leaders.

If a follower is not prepared to go through the real experience of the leader, the discomfort and uncertainty that characterizes her responsibility, she should not get into it. There is no way to become a leader without experiencing that inability to 'sleep in comfort.'

Foxes and birds appear to be given more consideration than the leader. They have their dens and nests respectively. But the leader has no place to lay his head. This is just how it is. It is what it is as well. It is the reality of the responsibility of a leader.

A crucial "terms of engagement"

By making the leader's real situation and experience is known to the interested follower, the former makes clear to the latter what I call the 'terms of engagement.'

The leader was quick to let the follower know that leadership was not what he saw or thought it to be. He promptly responded by drawing his attention to the true 'meat' of the responsibility.

That's what every leader is expected to do in order to make sure that the follower is prepared to go the whole hog with the leader. The leader is under obligation to make the terms of engagement clear to the follower in the spirit of fairness as well. When the follower knows that what he sees of the leader is not what he would get, he would be drawn to know the reality of the leader's work and walk.

Leaders are lacking in this important area. The road on which the leader travels is rough. Everyone following cannot escape that experience. It is part of what gets followers to the destination called 'leader.' Perhaps this is one important reason why some leaders are frustrated with followers who were excited to express their desire to follow them but soon dragged their feet or turned away completely. They did not disclose fully what the nature of the journey with the leader is like.

They did not warn the follower ahead of the journey. They allowed the follower to be driven by 'form' instead of 'substance.'

A true leader has no apology to make to the follower over the rough road that lies ahead of their journey. He only has an obligation to let the follower know. That way, there are no surprises on the way, the follower is provided sufficient information to make the decision to follow, and she also can be prepared adequately ahead of the rough patches on the road.

When the terms of engagement are made clear, it reduces the emergence of friction in the leader's relationship with the follower. The follower can also understand the leader better and not look at her as being inconsiderate or lacking in empathy when they hit the rough patches on the road.

So, do you take the time and make the effort to spell out the terms of engagement for your followers? Or do you simply expect them to follow based on their own naive appreciation of the responsibility of leadership?

A leader that neglects or omits to spell out the terms of engagement to the follower in clear terms does the latter a great disservice. I consider such a grave leadership offense and it should be avoided by a leader who is truly worth her salt.

The early call to a life of discipline

By declaring to the follower the nature of the leader's lifestyle, he calls the follower very early in their journey to a life of discipline. The call is to challenge the leader to live for others, be ready to embrace discomforts that will arise from doing that, and ensure that she trains the followers to walk the same path.

True leaders are disciplined. True followers must also be disciplined. They are expected following the disclosure of the terms of reference to submit themselves to the same lifestyle they observe in the leader. They should not expect to be treated differently.

The reason that Jesus told the person who wanted to follow Him about the leader's lifestyle was so that he would know that the same lifestyle is expected of him as long as he remained with the leader. Nothing less will and should be acceptable to a leader from every follower.

In fact, the more specific areas where discipline is required are contentment, focus, and commitment. The follower should live a disciplined life of contentment. Wherever the leader finds to lay his head should also be good enough for the follower. He is not expected to complain or murmur and certainly not seek to be treated differently from the leader.

The follower should also live a disciplined life of focus. What this means is that once the follower commits to following the leader, nothing else must be strong enough to distract his attention, however personal or compelling the issue may be. Remember the statement, "Let the dead bury their dead?" That speaks to a disciplined life of focus on the leader for as long as the follower is with her.

Finally, the follower should live a disciplined life of commitment. By this, we mean that nothing should be strong enough to make the follower decide to stop following the leader after he has made a firm decision to follow. The follower is expected to remain steadfast and trusting of the leader as well as the leader's ability to help them navigate to their destination successfully. An indiscipline follower is one who will find a reason at some point in the journey to go his own way. Such followers will not enjoy the favour of their leader.

Leadership is not on the follower's terms

What is interesting about leadership is that it is done for the benefit of the follower but it is not done on the follower's terms. The leader spells out the terms with particular reference to the rough road that lies ahead. The leader is the one who takes charge of the journey and will navigate as she deems fit.

This is another aspect of the foundations of strong leadership that we must remind ourselves about. The leader owes a duty to disclose the terms of engagement to every follower. Like that man who wanted to follow Jesus, that gesture is enough to discourage some interested persons. That's fine, however, since the terms are not meant to be waived. They are cast in stone, coming with the territory of leadership.

This is an authentic, purposeful, and smart approach to leadership.

The good news is that the destination that the rough road leads to is sure. It is as sure as delivering all that the follower was originally attracted to in the leader and also to the huge responsibility called 'leadership.'

The road is worth committing to for a discerning and humble person.

Olatunji Sobodu

emetlead@gmail.com | +234 809 891 1826