Ross Rant: 2023 NFL Mock Draft | First Round

"This is the inside scoop on the private conversations between General Managers and potential first-round draft picks"

1. Carolina Panthers : "At least the taxes are low in the Carolinas."

2. Houston Texans : "Houston is home to more Fortune 500 company headquarters than anywhere in America except New York City. So, you'll probably end up on a corporate board when it's all said and done."

3. Tennessee Titans : "Not that you'll be around to enjoy it, but Nashville's Metro Council just passed a $2.1 billion proposal to build a new domed stadium slated to open in time for the 2027 season."

4. Indianapolis Colts : "For sure. We'll get you on the Pat McAfee Show."

5. Seattle Seahawks : "'I just happened to be nowhere near your neighborhood.' It is from Singles. Do you know the movie?"

6. Detroit Lions : "If we had more players and staff gambling on sports, we probably would have made the playoffs."

7. Las Vegas Raiders : "Yes, we can get you and your 20-person entourage paddock passes to the F1 race."

8. Atlanta Falcons : "Atlanta's Hartsfield Jackson International Airport is the world's busiest!"

9. Chicago Bears : "Don’t worry, kid. If you ever need a snack, just put it on my tab at the Billy Goat Tavern."

10. Philadelphia Eagles : "Hide not your talents, they for use were made, what's a sundial in the shade?"

11. Arizona Cardinals Football Club : "Help me help you."

12. Houston Texans : "A kid's nursery school next to a nuclear power plant? Yeah, it's true. The City of Houston does not have zoning."

13. Green Bay Packers : "Aaron Rodgers, never heard of him."

14. New England Patriots : "Pro-tip, only Bill is allowed to customize his sweatshirts."

15. New York Jets : "Have you heard we won Super Bowl III?"

?16. Washington Commanders : "More people in this town read Prisoners of Geography: Ten Maps That Explain Everything About the World than attend our games."

17. Pittsburgh Steelers : "The bottle is back: The Kraft Heinz ketchup bottle returns to Acrisure Stadium!"

18. Detroit Lions : "Word on the street, it is Joe Louis Southern Kitchen for breakfast. Named for the famous Detroit boxer, this restaurant by his namesake serves all-day brunch seven days."

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers : "Champa Bay."

20. Seattle Seahawks : "'We're huge in Europe right now. I mean, we've got records... uh, a big record just broke in Belgium.' It is from Singles. Do you know the movie?"

21. Los Angeles Chargers : "We are the LA Galaxy of professional football."

22. Minnesota Vikings : "Snow in April? Cool right? And it's only 200 more days to winter."

23. Baltimore Ravens : "'This is why you are so nervous all the time. You have like chunks of roast beef in your heart!' It is from Diner. Do you know the movie?"

24. Jacksonville Jaguars : "You're going to love London."

25. New York Football Giants : "We don't have cheerleaders. We don't have a mascot. We play football."

26. Dallas Cowboys : "No, no, no. Jerry isn't a meddler."?

27. Buffalo Bills : "So, yeah. The folding table thing started around 2015. A video of a drunk fan jumping on and smashing a folding table went viral. Now it's become a thing to do at tailgates."

28. Cincinnati Bengals : "Honestly, FC Cincinnati is probably the best football team in Cincinnati right now."

29. New Orleans Saints : "America has only three cities: New York, San Francisco, and New Orleans. Everywhere else is Cleveland."

30. Philadelphia Eagles : "By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail."

31: Kansas City Chiefs : "Yes. Andy Reid will do a national commercial spot with you."

National Football League (NFL)